Dealing with questions

[elenetxu]

I've noticed that since we've started TTC, I'm bothered a lot more by the nosy Spanish questions of "When are you going to have kids?"

How do you respond to these questions?

I met a lady who has known DH since he was a little kid yesterday. Not two minutes after DH introducing me as his wife, she asks me when we're going to have kids. I said "Whenever God wants." (Not particularly religious, just an easy vague answer here "Cuando dios quiera...")
She then went on to tell me how she's "already" a grandmother four times. Her son is roughly DH's age. Great, lady, I don't care.

I'm at a loss as to how to answer these questions now.

[tiptoetulips]

We would love to have kids one day. Followed up by when the time is right.
Inside my head "F off"

[daisy]

I had a coworker ask me the other day. She said "Yeah, when are you going to start having kids?". It totally took me by surprise and without thinking I just blurted out "I don't know, you'll have to talk to my uterus about that." Awkward.

Depending on who it is that asks I usually say "I don't know, eventually I'm sure." Or, "I can barely feed and clothe myself some days. I'm not sure if I can handle another human at this point."

[achi]

I just say "we haven't really talked about it yet." and shut that shit down.

Or if you want to get really bitchy you can always say "we'll start having kids 1 year after people stop asking about it, congrats - you just reset the clock!"

[oneslybookworm]

My family hit us up with questions last time we visited. My response was, "Oh, I'm sure I'll get drunk one night and skip a pill eventually." Surprisingly, they didn't ask any more questions.

[mskitkat]

At my sister's wedding, no less than 4 people asked if I was planning on making an "announcement" anytime soon. So annoying! Let me just enjoy my sister's day!

[bcv513]

My FIL said something the other day like he doesn't know what the hell we are doing waiting so long. I said we don't know what we're doing either and that might be the problem.

[macmars45]

There were not so subtle statements made when I visited my parents earlier this month.  Geez, parentals, if only I could snap my fingers and be pregnant I would. Unfortunately, these things take time. (FWIW: my parents & siblings know H and I are trying.)

[konapoppy]

Sept 1, 2014 11:25:17 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

There were not so subtle statements made when I visited my parents earlier this month.  Geez, parentals, if only I could snap my fingers and be pregnant I would. Unfortunately, these things take time. (FWIW: my parents & siblings know H and I are trying.)

This is so frustrating. We were at dinner with my parents and they said something about kids (knowing that I had a m/c this spring), and I snapped and said "it's not like we aren't trying". They haven't brought it up since.

[macmars45]

Sept 1, 2014 13:41:08 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

Sept 1, 2014 11:25:17 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

There were not so subtle statements made when I visited my parents earlier this month.  Geez, parentals, if only I could snap my fingers and be pregnant I would. Unfortunately, these things take time. (FWIW: my parents & siblings know H and I are trying.)

This is so frustrating. We were at dinner with my parents and they said something about kids (knowing that I had a m/c this spring), and I snapped and said "it's not like we aren't trying". They haven't brought it up since.

I'm sorry about your m/c.

I'm glad your parents backed off.

[awick14]

My go to answer now is "When we get over the loss of our child." It usually shuts people up.

Before our loss I always said that we hadn't talked about kids yet.

People are nosy.

This weekend a 4 year old asked me where my baby was. :/ I have no idea where that came from. (Neither did the kids dad)

[brandienee]

I've been deflecting these questions since we got married.

Thankfully Grad School is a great excuse to tell people to MYOB. I am in my last year and we decided to start trying earlier, hopefully I won't get any frustrating questions for a while.

[aprilsails]

I get these questions all the time now. I usually deflect with 'I'm too busy at work' or some variant thereof. We only decided to start trying 5 months ago so for the past 4 years I've been fending off the question.

[montywho]

A couple of weeks ago we were with H's family. My BIL sits down at the table while other family members were sitting there and says to me that he was talking to L (my 3 year old) and he was saying he really wants a little brother or sister.' My only comment was a sarcastic 'Did he?' and I moved on to other topics. I know my son would never say anything to him. He's 3 and too busy playing with his cousins...and clueless.

And mind you this dumb comment is coming from someone who had TTC and fertility issues when they tried to conceive both of their kids 10+ years ago.

People can be asses.

[semay]

I've always been bothered by that question. The day I got married, I had people asking when we were going to start. It drives me nuts, and it is so rude. A guy at work would ask me every single day when we were having kids. After about two weeks of it, I'd finally had enough and asked him, "Why? Are you offering?" He never asked again. I should have asked him when it started being appropriate to ask about other people's reproductive habits at work.

[MrsMB]

My response:

"Oh...you know....we're just having fun PRACTICING!!! *WINK* *WINK*"

The person asking the question is then forced to think of you and your DH having sex. That should slow the rude person down some.