My grandpa recently had a heart attack and underwent triple bypass surgery. While he's recovering well, he is requiring lots of care. He is staying with my mom instead of an in-patient facility. While he has a home care nurse who visits a few times a week and while some other family members are also involved in his care, my mom is the primary caretaker. She also works a (more than) full time job, although is working from home for a few weeks so she can help him during the day for brief periods (like if he needs to use the bathroom, etc).
Any ideas for how I can support her? I live across the country so it would need to be something I sent or could do from afar. TIA.
ETA: Grandpa can't tolerate any scented stuff, so flowers are out.
I don't know how often you talk, but some times just letting her vent and asking what you can do to help is good I hope grandpa lolo is better soon. Hugs for you and your momma.
Organizing other people to come and hang out with your grandfather so she can get out and have some space. It's completely exhausting to have to be with someone or in your house and unable to leave when you're caring for someone else.
Barring being able to do that, meal delivery or GCs to restaurants that do carryout.
Can you pay for a service that will stay with your grandfather for several hours a couple days a week? Sometimes, caregivers just need to get out, and whether it is o go see a movie, meet a friend or dinner, or just wander through a mall, getting out to decompress can really help.
Another suggestion is maybe organize someone to come in and clean? Even though she is there, she is working while caregiving and it is likely she could use some help with household chores.
Are there other family members or friends near by who are able to help? If so, maybe offer to manage an account for your mom on lotsahelpinghands.com? It's site where caregivers can enter the things they need (someone to sit with grandpa 3 hours on Thursday, someone to bring dinner Sunday, someone to mow grass this week, etc) and people in their network can sign up for the jobs.
Sometimes in these situations there are lots of "let me know if I can do anything" offers, that the caregiver never follows up on bc it's too much work. If that's the case, maybe she could use your help to mobilize those folks?
Not sure if this organization has a location near your family. This is a good resource for some assistance for your grandfather so your mom can get a break as PP's have suggested. (In case there are no other family/friends options)
I'm a caregiver and would love help with meals and cleaning. I've been thinking about making freezer meals again. H's treatment change means and extra off week and I feel like I'm getting caught up on cleaning again. :-)
I think part of the problem is that my family tends to believe that it's the family's responsibility to take care of one another, so they are less likely to want others helping out (whether that's a home aid or cleaning service).
But things like the massage, perhaps a meal service (even something like Blue Apron or similar), and the lotsahelpinghand.com suggestion have potential.
Pom, we usually talk at least every other day but understandably she hasn't had as much time lately. And I know that she knows that I think she is taking too much on at the expense of her health. That said, she did vent to me about another family member today so that's a good sign that she's still keen to confide in me.
I think I'll send out a card now and maybe some sort of care basket with some healthy snacks or something, then look into the other services.