25, DH (then BF) broke up with me via phone a couple days prior & I was all alone backpacking Europe. I cried a lot that day & I'm not a crier.
As a kid probably my 13th. My idiot brother & his friend crashed my sleepover and 10 out of 12 of my so called friends spent the night fawning all over them (they were 2yrs older). I ended up walking out & leaving my own party (it was in our cottage in our backyard). My 2 friends that cared enough to follow me/see if I'm ok that night are still my best friends.
Oddly enough, my 18th was the hardest I think. That afternoon I was running around the house with my 2-year-old brother on my shoulders, with my two other brothers chasing us. Rounded a corner and my brother's head smacked into the corner of the wall and got a huge gash. My parents weren't home, I had no car, I couldn't get a hold of anyone and it was just bleeding and bleeding. I was so upset. Of course I eventually got a hold of my mom, they came and took him to the emergency room and got him stitches, but I just felt so awful about it. I had a bunch of friends over later that night for cake and stuff, but it put such a damper on the day and I knew it was my fault for rough housing like that. It seems stupid and not that big of a deal now.
My birthday has never been a big deal. It's in the middle of wheat harvest, so frequently I had to wait a week or so to celebrate.
25th was a rough one. First year I was married. ExH totally ignored that it was my birthday. He did nothing. No cake, no gifts, no out to dinner. He played out in the garden and I sat in the house crying into a bowl of ice cream.
28th was the same basic thing with him, but I told him he had to do better. Led to counseling.
My birthday has never been a big deal. It's in the middle of wheat harvest, so frequently I had to wait a week or so to celebrate.
25th was a rough one. First year I was married. ExH totally ignored that it was my birthday. He did nothing. No cake, no gifts, no out to dinner. He played out in the garden and I sat in the house crying into a bowl of ice cream.
28th was the same basic thing with him, but I told him he had to do better. Led to counseling.
Is it weird to say I'm so glad you're divorced? I remember all your posts about him back in the day. I hope this doesn't sound condescending, but I'm so proud of you for choosing something better.
My birthday has never been a big deal. It's in the middle of wheat harvest, so frequently I had to wait a week or so to celebrate.
25th was a rough one. First year I was married. ExH totally ignored that it was my birthday. He did nothing. No cake, no gifts, no out to dinner. He played out in the garden and I sat in the house crying into a bowl of ice cream.
28th was the same basic thing with him, but I told him he had to do better. Led to counseling.
Is it weird to say I'm so glad you're divorced? I remember all your posts about him back in the day. I hope this doesn't sound condescending, but I'm so proud of you for choosing something better.
Not weird at all. Thank you. I'm glad too. Life is so much better now. I've kind of been seeing someone for several weeks now and just last night he asked me some details about why I left (I don't volunteer this unless asked, then I'm honest). He was sweet and told me he hopes ExH understand just how much of an idiot he was.
30, but that's because I was in the middle of having a m/c and was home alone all weekend because DH had to go to our nephew's birthday party in another state (he would have stayed home if I had asked, but I told him to go). It was horrible.
Post by bobotron3000 on Sept 2, 2014 10:51:35 GMT -5
I am a big birthday person and never thought I would have a hard time with getting older but I completely freaked out when I turned 30. I felt like I had not accomplished anything I thought I would by then and it felt so "adult" to me. I loved my twenties and it was hard not to be in them anymore. But I got over it and my thirties have been good so far!
Post by explorer2001 on Sept 2, 2014 14:25:17 GMT -5
Here are the top 3. My birthday is just before Christmas so it was always overshadowed, treated an inconvenience or nonevent and tough to see friends due to holiday plans. My mom always made a point of how stressful it was for her to have more to do on top of the holidays.
Now I throw a friends only holiday party a week or so before and pretend all the holiday stuff is for my enjoyment. I rarely mention my birthday and expect nothing. With no expectations, it is hard to be disappointed.
14 - first day awake after being sick in bed for a week with what likely was Bird Flu. My parents never took me to the doctor. I hadn't eaten, gotten out of bed, peed, or had more than a few ounces of liquid and a handful of OTC decongestant and fever reducers that whole week. I could barely walk.
I had lost all my muscle tone and 10+ lbs. My knees were the widest part of my legs, which for me was not normal as an athletic kid. My mom told me how good I looked skinny. I didn't look good I looked sick. That fueled a battle that I still have with weight/health.
It wasn't until years later that I realized that wasn't normal or appropriate, and that in some ways it could have been considered abuse/neglect.
20 - cliff notes and I won't get into it more but I was in the middle of a miscarriage partially cause my the guy I was seeing at the time and the people at Planned Parenthood were mad at me for wasting an appointment in there busy schedule when I "didn't need their services since I wasn't pregnant". I only found out it was a miscarriage during that appointment. I was young and scared and overwhelmed. It was a really bad week.
30 - dealing with the first hints of the nerve damage I'm still fighting post surgery, dealing with my mother's drama about how stressful my cancer scare was for her when she didn't find out until it was over.
Even though my friends had booked two nights for us to hang out at local resort/spa my mom insisted on her way forcing us to lose a night at the resort (nonrefundable), then insisting on driving everyone to an event an hour away in her car which she knew was having issues. Her car broke down. She ended up leaving with the tow truck driver leaving my friends and me stranded an hour away. We made the best of it and had brunch. Eventually my dad came and picked us up and was pissed that my mom wasn't there and he drove all this way for us.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Sept 2, 2014 18:34:30 GMT -5
39 was rough
stbxh was in the throws of his meth relapse and barely realized it was my birthday ... the 'highlight' was him showing me video of the 'people' that were spying on us - it was a BLANK wall in our house ?!?