Oh MIL

[rubber pants]

So I was telling MIL about us switching M to a big girl bed soon. All of her big girl bedding came in but her sheets are on back order. DH still has to anchor the furniture too, which he will be doing this week.

MIL was like "anchor furniture? Why". (She's a very knowitall type A person)

I proceed to tell her about the countless stories of children being hurt/killed by fallen furniture and she dismisses me and says "well m isn't a hyperactive kid. She won't climb".

I shut her down and was like "yea I'm not taking a chance".

She rolled her eyes as if she were saying "you are crazy" and she walked away saying "first I've EVER heard of that" as if we were being paranoid and overprotective.

Ugh. i hate that. My kid. I do what I want.

[TrudyCampbell]

Ugh, shut your mouth, woman!

My MIL did something similar this weekend when she tried to give us the crib in her attic from the 1980s. No thanks, lady. She was all like "well it was fine for MY kids..."

[Deleted]

That's such a stupid thing to make fun of, or question, you about. It doesn't hurt anybody to install them and all they can do it make her more safe.

[unclejesse]

I wonder what class grandparents take to make them know it all's without a filter when it comes to their grandkids...

[honeybee503]

How annoying! FWIW, Natalie isn't very hyperactive and she attempting climbing her bookshelf the other day. Anchors FTW!

[dojo]

I cannot imagine why anyone would turn their nose up at this simple, quick, inexpensive, and effective measure of safety.

Guess what, MIL, you don't have to be hyperactive to want to climb. You don't have to climb to pull furniture on top of you. You don't have to have heard of a safety measure for it to be a useful one.

She's a hoebag.

[eav2c]

Dude stupid. MILs can be outrageous. My FIL posted a picture to my MILs FB a couple of days ago that said "mommy knows a lot but grandma knows it all." LIKE WHAT? Passive aggressive!

I mean WHY wouldn't the extra precautions be worth it? This seems like a no brainer to me.

[AndyCohen]

I would email her that story of the parents who's child died one morning by climbing her dresser while she was playing in her room. I think it's stories like those that we've heard that really drilled it in that the older generations might not have heard or think about.

[thedahliharpa]

Sept 1, 2014 21:49:37 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Dude stupid. MILs can be outrageous. My FIL posted a picture to my MILs FB a couple of days ago that said "mommy knows a lot but grandma knows it all." LIKE WHAT? Passive aggressive!

I mean WHY wouldn't the extra precautions be worth it? This seems like a no brainer to me.

Oh hell no.

[jfh]

My MIL is totally like this. She thought it was weird that I wouldn't put a stuffed animal in Kai's crib when he was an infant. She thought it was weird that I didn't want to use an expired car seat. I'm pretty sure she thinks baby monitors are weird. The last time we visited FIL commented that we had become "high maintenance." Because, you know, insisting that people keep your baby alive is really obnoxious. At first I tried to justify everything, now I just ignore their questioning and repeat what needs to happen.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry. People who were parents to babies 20 or 30+ years ago seem to think that nothing has changed since then a lot of times. I don't get it but I have the same issues with many people.

[Deleted]

Sept 1, 2014 21:49:37 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Dude stupid. MILs can be outrageous. My FIL posted a picture to my MILs FB a couple of days ago that said "mommy knows a lot but grandma knows it all." LIKE WHAT? Passive aggressive!

I mean WHY wouldn't the extra precautions be worth it? This seems like a no brainer to me.

THAT would piss me off!

[TrudyCampbell]

Sept 1, 2014 21:49:37 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Dude stupid. MILs can be outrageous. My FIL posted a picture to my MILs FB a couple of days ago that said "mommy knows a lot but grandma knows it all." LIKE WHAT? Passive aggressive!

I mean WHY wouldn't the extra precautions be worth it? This seems like a no brainer to me.

No!

[lauranicole91]

Sept 1, 2014 21:49:37 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Dude stupid. MILs can be outrageous. My FIL posted a picture to my MILs FB a couple of days ago that said "mommy knows a lot but grandma knows it all." LIKE WHAT? Passive aggressive!

I mean WHY wouldn't the extra precautions be worth it? This seems like a no brainer to me.

Omg!!! I'd be livid!

Eta: thank god my inlaws can't/don't FB. I would die.

[PatBenatar]

Ughhh how annoying. My MIL is like this too, especially with the damn car seat.

She also likes to make snide comments about me and SIL (H's sister) looking things up online.

[kdrake8]

Ugh I feel ya! My mil asked me why I couldn't borrow an old convertible car seat from someone for Carson. I tried to explain that they expire and I wouldn't know if it had been in an accident.

She was like "well doesn't the sitter just have one she borrowed from someone or one from when her kids were little?" (Her kids are 20 and 18.)

Ummm, no, lady. We bought the sitter a new one. We get ALL. NEW. SEATS.

[carawestt]

I wish they would just not talk. My MIL was questioning why I didn't have a comforter in Lincoln's crib when he was an infant. And then she said "it's really a wonder how we kept our kids alive back in the day since we apparently didn't know what we were doing." Shut uppppppp!

eav2c fuck that! I'd be pissed!

[melmon0417]

Some grandparents, man... I swear. I love my MIL, but everything she did as a mother was just perfect, apparently. My eyes sometimes hurt from rolling them so hard. If I have to hear one more time about how people should only have one child nowadays in this crazy world, or how she gave things up and went without so she could be at home with the kids and not put them into daycare, I'm going to burst at the seams.

[laurack]

It's definitely a different mentality they have. My MIL keeps trying to give us this old crib she has from when H was little. I keep telling her drop side cribs are not sold anymore blah blah etc. and she says she wants us to have it anyway. And I say, but we won't use it?

"but the quality is EXCELLENT. They just don't make things as well these days. You must take it"

umm no??

also she thinks my carseat rules are weird. "you can't put her in there with no coat on in winter!"
"the straps are too tight they are hurting her!"
etc.

[christidee]

That is awful. Why do some people have to have the last word? Lame sauce. And that was almost like a put down on your kid. Not cool.

[christidee]

Sept 1, 2014 21:49:37 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Dude stupid. MILs can be outrageous. My FIL posted a picture to my MILs FB a couple of days ago that said "mommy knows a lot but grandma knows it all." LIKE WHAT? Passive aggressive!

I mean WHY wouldn't the extra precautions be worth it? This seems like a no brainer to me.

So not cool. My mom posted the same kind of picture on my page. Wth!

[katie]

Reading these of what you have experienced and I have give me anxiety.

We were at the ILs and going to go somewhere with them. I said we need to take 2 cars and couldn't all ride together. They asked why, I said because we have the carseat in our car. FIL proceeded to say that where we were going wasn't far and when H was a child they would have him in the back of their VW bus with no seat. UM WTF. I just shook my head and said we don't do that, its unsafe and against the law.

My MIL also left the screen door on the beach condo over the weekend partially opened when she came in and Lillian ran out. Luckily there was a hill Lillian fell down because she was running so fast - towards the fucking busy street. I told my H that is the last time my MIL or anyone watches Lillian. They don't get that shit. That's why she has a harness. She runs.

[kdrake8]

Sept 2, 2014 11:26:21 GMT -5 laurack said:

It's definitely a different mentality they have. My MIL keeps trying to give us this old crib she has from when H was little. I keep telling her drop side cribs are not sold anymore blah blah etc. and she says she wants us to have it anyway. And I say, but we won't use it?

"but the quality is EXCELLENT. They just don't make things as well these days. You must take it"

umm no??

also she thinks my carseat rules are weird. "you can't put her in there with no coat on in winter!"
"the straps are too tight they are hurting her!"
etc.

Too tight straps thing kills me. Both sets of grandparents complain about how tight the straps are. It makes me so freaking nervous bc they do ride with them, ILs at least, and I'm always afraid the straps aren't tight enough.

[carawestt]

Is it just an IL thing to argue with or question our parenting skills? My mom has never once questioned anything I do, even if it's something she doesn't necessarily agree with. She sees it as I'm the mom, I have the say and she needs to abide by it.

[melmon0417]

My sister's MIL makes lists of things that bother her (well, both child and not-child related) that my sister does, or says, or anything... she then tries to sit her down and read her letters and lists. I can't even imagine it being that bad for me.

[rubber pants]

OMG mine also constnatly compares M to when DH was a kid. WELL DH USED TO EAT WHATEVER WE GAVE HIM. He was never a picky baby. We put him down to sleep and he never woke up?

REALLY??? HE NEVER WOKE UP??? EVERR??? HE ATE EVERYTHING??? I call total bullshit on that. well, congrats and good for you. STOP FUCKING COMPARING THE TWO!

[melmon0417]

Sept 2, 2014 12:35:39 GMT -5 rubber pants said:

OMG mine also constnatly compares M to when DH was a kid. WELL DH USED TO EAT WHATEVER WE GAVE HIM. He was never a picky baby. We put him down to sleep and he never woke up?

REALLY??? HE NEVER WOKE UP??? EVERR??? HE ATE EVERYTHING??? I call total bullshit on that. well, congrats and good for you. STOP FUCKING COMPARING THE TWO!

YES! I get the, "DH never used a sippy or plastic cup. He has always drank from a glass. He never spilled." Really? Your 2 year old NEVER spilled from a glass? Okay.

[carawestt]

My MIL always asks me questions about "breastfed babies" in like a talking down to me tone because she FF both her kids And they were perfect angels because of it. "Are ALL breastfed babies really clingy like yours? I mean, it's great that they're soooo bonded to you." "When do BF babies get to eat real food?" "Well they probably won't sleep because you BF" Kill me.

[PatBenatar]

Sept 2, 2014 12:43:06 GMT -5 carawestt said:

My MIL always asks me questions about "breastfed babies" in like a talking down to me tone because she FF both her kids And they were perfect angels because of it. "Are ALL breastfed babies really clingy like yours? I mean, it's great that they're soooo bonded to you." "When do BF babies get to eat real food?" "Well they probably won't sleep because you BF" Kill me.

YES mine did this too! She would also constantly ask "how do you know if she's getting enough? so and so's (FF) baby is taking x amount of ounces, but you only have this much in the bottle."

And my MIL also says a variation of this all the time too

"it's really a wonder how we kept our kids alive back in the day since we apparently didn't know what we were doing."

[carawestt]

Sept 2, 2014 13:07:12 GMT -5 PatBenatar said:

Sept 2, 2014 12:43:06 GMT -5 carawestt said:

My MIL always asks me questions about "breastfed babies" in like a talking down to me tone because she FF both her kids And they were perfect angels because of it. "Are ALL breastfed babies really clingy like yours? I mean, it's great that they're soooo bonded to you." "When do BF babies get to eat real food?" "Well they probably won't sleep because you BF" Kill me.

YES mine did this too! She would also constantly ask "how do you know if she's getting enough? so and so's (FF) baby is taking x amount of ounces, but you only have this much in the bottle."

And my MIL also says a variation of this all the time too

"it's really a wonder how we kept our kids alive back in the day since we apparently didn't know what we were doing."

It is so annoying! She always says stuff about my kids preferring me/being so attached to me because I BF them. I'm like no, FF fed babies prefer their moms too. My kids love me, sorry! And they just don't like you lol they go to other people fine.