I need someone to explain like I'm 5 why the Christian right

[tres3]

loves Israel so much.

I don't get it. 

[pixy0stix]

Muslins (sic) are evil. Therefore, you gotta support the Jews.

[iammalcolmx]

This post has so much potential.

[Deleted]

Something about the Jews having to be in Israel aka the holy land before the end of the world and Jesus comes down and eats all the babies or whatever he does lol.

[Deleted]

[iammalcolmx]

[EloiseWeenie]

I've heard some think the Apocalypse will start once all nations turn their back on Israel.

[AJL]

When ALL the Jews come back to the Holy Land, then Jesus will come again (and apparently destroy the non-believers so really the Jews are fucked...again.)

[lissaholly]

Non snarky answer:
It is like Francophiles visiting the Eiffel Tower.

Snarky answer;

It gives context and deeper understanding of Christ and the bible to a group of people who adamantly argue that the bible needs no context and can be read literally.

[darthnbjenni]

Sept 2, 2014 10:50:54 GMT -5 AJL said:

When ALL the Jews come back to the Holy Land, then Jesus will come again (and apparently destroy the non-believers so really the Jews are fucked...again.)

But aren't they OK, as God's chosen people? Or something like that. 

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 2, 2014 11:35:36 GMT -5 darthnbjenni said:

Sept 2, 2014 10:50:54 GMT -5 AJL said:

When ALL the Jews come back to the Holy Land, then Jesus will come again (and apparently destroy the non-believers so really the Jews are fucked...again.)

But aren't they OK, as God's chosen people? Or something like that. 

Yes, but then Jesus, so all that's moot.  Fun fact: that's why ham is a-okay to celebrate the various Jesus holidays, even though he was Jew who would never eat ham.

[AJL]

Sept 2, 2014 11:35:36 GMT -5 darthnbjenni said:

Sept 2, 2014 10:50:54 GMT -5 AJL said:

When ALL the Jews come back to the Holy Land, then Jesus will come again (and apparently destroy the non-believers so really the Jews are fucked...again.)

But aren't they OK, as God's chosen people? Or something like that. 

Don't know. I think the rapture is a bizarre idea. However I pretty much think all religion (including my own) is nothing more than ancient myths designed to make humans feel better about their existence in a chaotic world. I will say that if the condition of ALL Jews returning to the Holy Land has to be met for the second coming of Jesus to happen, well keep on waiting. This Jew isn't going back.

[meshaliuknits]

Sept 2, 2014 10:50:54 GMT -5 AJL said:

When ALL the Jews come back to the Holy Land, then Jesus will come again (and apparently destroy the non-believers so really the Jews are fucked...again.)

If this is the case, then I think we're gonna need you to stay in Texas.

[pixy0stix]

Sept 2, 2014 11:41:49 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Sept 2, 2014 11:35:36 GMT -5 darthnbjenni said:

But aren't they OK, as God's chosen people? Or something like that. 

Yes, but then Jesus, so all that's moot.  Fun fact: that's why ham is a-okay to celebrate the various Jesus holidays, even though he was Jew who would never eat ham.

I've always wondered about this. I feel weird eating ham on Easter.

[tres3]

I ask because I got this email....



PJTN Tennessee Textbook/Education Action Alert!
Organizational Meeting Thursday, September 4th at 7pm!


"Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things." Matthew 25:21

First, I want to congratulate our whole team for a job well done! I thank God everyday for each one of you!

We won the first battle for accurate, unbiased textbooks in the state legislature! Then we were able to pressure Pearson Publishers, an international textbook publishing company, to remove one anti-Semitic quote from one textbook. Pearson saw a decline in revenue during 2013 and in January of this year.

We did it!

Finally, parents across the state sent a clear message to their school board members that if they would not remove the anti-Semitic, anti-Judeo/Christian, anti-American textbooks from our children's classrooms, then the voters would remove them from the board. And they did just that!

Those parents sent a clear message to our elected leaders that we will not keep silent when it comes to our children and the future of this great nation!

We applied the Nehemiah principle to our strategy and went from county to county and as a result of our efforts in Tennessee, we are impacting other counties in states around the U.S.

Now we need to leverage that momentum to remove the textbooks that were adopted last year in counties across the state. As of January 1, 2015, those textbooks will no longer be compliant with our new law. That is why I am contacting you today.

I am inviting everyone who has been on the front lines of this ongoing battle to make every effort to join us Thursday evening at 7pm at my home to discuss our next steps (xxxxxx Franklin, TN 37067). If you are receiving this email for the first time and would like to get involved in making history in Tennessee, this meeting is for you too!

Whether you were focused on the textbooks, elections, or Common Core, we need all hands on deck Thursday night, so please make every effort to attend.

If you are planning to attend, please email me at: [e-mail].

Refreshments will be served!

Finally, remember to forward this email to your family and friends. We need more parents and citizens from other counties to join us Thursday night. Your presence is needed to win this battle and take back local control of our children's education in this state. Remember, these textbooks will indoctrinate our children for another six years with inaccurate and biased information that do not reflect our values!

[cville]

Judaism is more like Christianity than is Islam? That's as good as I can figure out.

[Deleted]

Sept 2, 2014 11:35:36 GMT -5 darthnbjenni said:

Sept 2, 2014 10:50:54 GMT -5 AJL said:

When ALL the Jews come back to the Holy Land, then Jesus will come again (and apparently destroy the non-believers so really the Jews are fucked...again.)

But aren't they OK, as God's chosen people? Or something like that. 

God, who is perfect and who knows everything that every was and ever will be, changed his mind between book one and book two. People will be so mad when he writes book three and its only red heads that go to heaven now.

[pixy0stix]

Sept 2, 2014 14:06:16 GMT -5 @eveer said:

Sept 2, 2014 11:35:36 GMT -5 darthnbjenni said:

But aren't they OK, as God's chosen people? Or something like that. 

God, who is perfect and who knows everything that every was and ever will be, changed his mind between book one and book two. People will be so mad when he writes book three and its only red heads that go to heaven now.

YES! Redemption for being called soulless all these years.

[wawa]

Sept 2, 2014 14:06:16 GMT -5 @eveer said:

Sept 2, 2014 11:35:36 GMT -5 darthnbjenni said:

But aren't they OK, as God's chosen people? Or something like that. 

God, who is perfect and who knows everything that every was and ever will be, changed his mind between book one and book two. People will be so mad when he writes book three and its only red heads that go to heaven now.

I often shake my head at your cheeky blasphemes, but this one is flipping hilarious.  A+ sir.

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 2, 2014 14:06:16 GMT -5 @eveer said:

Sept 2, 2014 11:35:36 GMT -5 darthnbjenni said:

But aren't they OK, as God's chosen people? Or something like that. 

God, who is perfect and who knows everything that every was and ever will be, changed his mind between book one and book two. People will be so mad when he writes book three and its only red heads that go to heaven now.

I think book three is the Koran.  Redheads are redeemed in book four and ride dragons, if he ever gets around to finishing the fucking series, that is!

[tres3]

Sept 2, 2014 14:50:13 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Sept 2, 2014 14:06:16 GMT -5 @eveer said:

God, who is perfect and who knows everything that every was and ever will be, changed his mind between book one and book two. People will be so mad when he writes book three and its only red heads that go to heaven now.

I think book three is the Koran.  Redheads are redeemed in book four and ride dragons, if he ever gets around to finishing the fucking series, that is!

aren't all good series trilogies? 

[meshaliuknits]

Sept 2, 2014 14:08:09 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Sept 2, 2014 14:06:16 GMT -5 @eveer said:

God, who is perfect and who knows everything that every was and ever will be, changed his mind between book one and book two. People will be so mad when he writes book three and its only red heads that go to heaven now.

YES! Redemption for being called soulless all these years.

You'll put in a good word for the rest of us, yes?

[wawa]

Sept 2, 2014 14:50:13 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Sept 2, 2014 14:06:16 GMT -5 @eveer said:

God, who is perfect and who knows everything that every was and ever will be, changed his mind between book one and book two. People will be so mad when he writes book three and its only red heads that go to heaven now.

I think book three is the Koran.  Redheads are redeemed in book four and ride dragons, if he ever gets around to finishing the fucking series, that is!

I think we're safe from god pulling a Robert Jordan at least?  right? 
Though I suppose he could totally pull a Melanie Rawn and just refuse to write it for no good fucking reason except that he probably can't decide on a good ending after writing himself into a corner. 

[josieposy]

I always assumed they were keeping all the good booze or something.

[Velvetshady]

Sept 2, 2014 14:08:09 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Sept 2, 2014 14:06:16 GMT -5 @eveer said:

God, who is perfect and who knows everything that every was and ever will be, changed his mind between book one and book two. People will be so mad when he writes book three and its only red heads that go to heaven now.

YES! Redemption for being called soulless all these years.

I married a red head, does that give me any extra credit points?

[mrs.jacinthe]

As a former fundie, I feel well-qualified to answer this. The following are the most often-noted reasons I can recall through years of fundie-ism. Not in any particular order.

1. Israel is the only nation created by God.
2. Israel (and the jewish people) are God's people and should be treated with respect and honor.
3. Jews are living proof of miracles (!!).
4. The continuation of Israeli sovereignty over the Holy Land is proof that God exists.
5. They are an island of non-muslimism and therefore are morally superior in a "godless" region of the world.
6. The entire conflict in the middle east is summarized as "God vs. Allah" and we must fight on the (eventual) winning side.

[AJL]

Sept 2, 2014 15:36:46 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

2. Israel (and the jewish people) are God's people and should be treated with respect and honor. 

 BWAHAHAHAHAHA! If only the rest of the world was on board with this we would have saved a lot of trouble over the last six millennia.

[KB]

Sept 2, 2014 10:33:45 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

b/c when Jesus comes back they want to make sure they have stayed on his good side by being nice to his home town

Literal lol.

[meshaliuknits]

I'm enjoying the SciFi complaints tangent!

And now I need to know how Jews are living proof of miracles. Because I do not understand that statement.

[mrs.jacinthe]

Sept 2, 2014 15:42:42 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

I'm enjoying the SciFi complaints tangent!

And now I need to know how Jews are living proof of miracles. Because I do not understand that statement.

A direct copy/paste from www.aish.com/h/iid/48964091.html

"The very survival of the Jewish people through recorded time is nothing short of miraculous. The very fact that Jews exist as a nation today stands in testimony to the existence of God who acts in history. By any historical measure, the Jewish people should have disappeared long ago."