I just picked DD up from daycare, as she has a fever and needed to come home.
I'd forgotten that one of the infants in her room (3mo-23 month classroom) "has sleep issues." Essentially, the parents told daycare to let the kid scream himself to sleep. Daily. In the same room as all of the other kids trying to nap. They daycare lady told me that they'd been given these instructions in like, May, but I totally forgot about it since I'm not usually there during naptime.
The poor kid was wailing. I had to restrain myself from walking over to pick him up. I can't believe the other kids fall asleep to that. Or sleep through it. And while I'm usually like, "to each their own, whatever it takes for everyone to survive," this situation actually affects the other children in the classroom. Sleep is important!
Would you say anything? She's aging out of the room in less than 2 months.
There's a time limit in my state for cribs if the child isn't asleep. I can't remember if it's 10 or 20 minutes, but they can't leave them in there longer than that.
ETA: So I would be saying something, esp if it's a center.
Post by undecidedowl on Sept 2, 2014 15:21:51 GMT -5
I would focus on the impact to your child. In addition to needing to meet regulations, the daycare has a right to enforce certain rules for the good of all the children. And perhaps one of those rules should be that babies are not left to cry for more than x minutes. Do you know if this has been interrupting your DD's naps?
I think he's somewhere between 6-15 months? When the provider told me about it in May, she said he was part of a sleep study and they had a note from a doctor to just let him cry.
I would focus on the impact to your child. In addition to needing to meet regulations, the daycare has a right to enforce certain rules for the good of all the children. And perhaps one of those rules should be that babies are not left to cry for more than x minutes. Do you know if this has been interrupting your DD's naps?
I've felt that she doesn't nap well at daycare for a long time. It's gotten better as she's gotten older, but she's usually wrecked by Fridays. I've always blamed it on poor daycare naps. So, yes, this is another thing that negatively affects her sleep.
I'd not have my kiddo in a 3 to 23 month room. I think it's a daycare issue more than a crying child issue.
When we chose this daycare, their rooms were all mixed age; 3mo-4 years. We actually really liked it because she would learn new skills from the older kids and it actually felt like she got a LOT more one-on-one attention. She was like the older's kids' mascot. Then they changed to conform to the state's regulations. We were bummed, but like the care she receives overall.
I am pretty okay with CIO in most cases, but this just seems strange. So every day this kid just lays there and screams for 2 hours straight? That sounds strange, and I would NOT be okay with that.
I also wouldn't like the age spread, but I suppose that's not the question at hand. I would definitely say something to the center, because that sounds crazy.
Alright, when we drop DD off next I'll ask what the deal is. I suppose it's possible that today was just a bad day for the kid, or an unusual circumstance. But I'll ask how frequent that is, and if it's affecting other kids' sleep.
I'm pretty CIO too, and I feel bad for the kid and bad for his parents. Imagine what bedtime must be like?
I think he's somewhere between 6-15 months? When the provider told me about it in May, she said he was part of a sleep study and they had a note from a doctor to just let him cry.
Gah, it was awful!
I'm getting all defensive about colicky kids again LOL, but if they have a doctors note and a sleep study going on then the parents are obviously well aware of the situation. WTF are they supposed to do? It sounds like everyone is aware and working on the situation.
And again this wouldn't be an issue if all of the infants were together and all of the toddlers were together.
This is exactly why I haven't said anything in the past. I guess at best they could have the crier sleep in a separate room? But maybe that totally conflicts with the state regulations? I feel bad for the parents and daycare providers, but damn, all those other kids need to sleep too!
I think he's somewhere between 6-15 months? When the provider told me about it in May, she said he was part of a sleep study and they had a note from a doctor to just let him cry.
Gah, it was awful!
I'm getting all defensive about colicky kids again LOL, but if they have a doctors note and a sleep study going on then the parents are obviously well aware of the situation. WTF are they supposed to do? It sounds like everyone is aware and working on the situation.
And again this wouldn't be an issue if all of the infants were together and all of the toddlers were together.
I am here. What are you going to say and what are they going to do about it exactly? I'm sure daycare is all WTF about it. I'm sure the parents are stressed. Talking more about it isn't going to do anything. I may say, "So I've noticed X is crying a lot? Have you noticed how it affects the other and how long do you expect this to continue?"
I'd probably just let it be. My kid seems unphased other kids' quirks/issues anyways.
That is a weiird age spread for a center though. Even my inhome separates age ranges at nap time.
I have more of an issue with 3mo olds and 23 mo olds being in the same class/having the same caretakers. What is the ratio? I just don't know with how needy infants are the teachers can maintain a structured day with the toddlers.
I am a fan of mixed age classrooms but that's a huge spread. Dd1 was in a 3-16 month mixed age room.
As an infant dd1 needed to cry herself out for naps. It sucks and I feel for the parents. But I don't think it's appropriate in a daycare. I would say something.
It can't hurt to nicely inquire about it in relation to the impact on your daughter.
I think there's probably more to the story, given that they've had sleep studies and have a doctor's note. I'm assuming it's not as easy as just rocking him to sleep and therefore they're not willfully refusing to do something else that works? And, if their child is anything like mine, he'll probably scream just as much out of the crib if he's overtired. At least this way presumably he falls asleep and gets a nap.
That's a weird age group. That aside, meh. Someone is crying most of the time in infants, you know? Or was that just my house when the girls were little?
Fwiw one of my girls cried a lot as an infant. Like hours. I can't even get into it. The other doesn't/didn't give a damn.
I'm here as well. The age difference in the room would bother me more than the crying. DS3 is the best sleeper out of all of mine and our house is generally pandemonium when it's his nap time. Picture American Ninja Warrior, elementary school style.
I don't know what you can really do with a doctor's note and explicit instructions from the parents. As a general rule, I would take issue with a child being left to cry in a crib that long at day care and would say something. But that's because I would want my child picked up and comforted if he were that distressed for that long and would, without knowledge otherwise, assume that most other parents would the same. Since you know day care is abiding by the parents wishes in this case, I guess I would let it go, but it is too bad for the other kids (and the day care provider, and the parents, and the baby, too, I am sure). What a sucky situation.