Oh, vicky, I am so sorry that you had to deal with that and are having to revisit it. Does you BF know what happened, precisely why you won't go to Texas so he's able to know how to support you? (You don't have to answer...I was just asking as food for thought.) I am sure he will make it as easy on you as possible, even so, because you wouldn't date a guy who wouldn't. So many hugs from me sweetie. So very many hugs.
So many hugs, and I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I hope that the love and support you have with him (and here)will help you get through the weekend.
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vicky - do you have a counselor you've dealt with in the past who could give you some quick advice on how to get through the plane ride? I'd just say bring stuff, hold BF's hand tightly, bring lots of electronics and headphones and books, and just brace yourself to get through it as best as you can. But I don't know how sage any advice I could give would be because I've never been in a situation like this, so anything I would say would be based on my simple "grit your teeth until they crack and it's over" mentality and not real experience or education.
I am so sorry love. You'll do this because, as His said, you're awesome. Hopefully you'll have happy memories to crowd out these ones.
Post by Captain Serious on Sept 4, 2014 21:40:30 GMT -5
Vicky, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it happened to you and I'm sorry you now are headed back there for somewhat unavoidable reasons.
You mentioned not wanting to offend your bf, but have you told him you are struggling with this and explained why it is so hard for you? I don't think anything you said in this post would offend a man who cares about you, regardless of whether it be his home state. I think it is important for him to know, so that he can support you and be understanding if you don't act like yourself. It's also important so that he can help minimize the impact of the visit.
I think it's in your best interest to discuss this with him and lean on him as you are making this monumental gesture and returning for him.
WOT?* I had a therapist, but she was an intern and has since graduated. I don't know how to contact her at this point. I think you're right and grinning and bearing it is probably my best bet.
Captain Serious he knows what happened, but I don't think he realizes that the scars have opened up again. I don't really talk about this stuff in real life.
Vicky, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it happened to you and I'm sorry you now are headed back there for somewhat unavoidable reasons.
You mentioned not wanting to offend your bf, but have you told him you are struggling with this and explained why it is so hard for you? I don't think anything you said in this post would offend a man who cares about you, regardless of whether it be his home state. I think it is important for him to know, so that he can support you and be understanding if you don't act like yourself. It's also important so that he can help minimize the impact of the visit.
I think it's in your best interest to discuss this with him and lean on him as you are making this monumental gesture and returning for him.
Quoting since I can't like this more than once but it deserves as many as I could give it. Brava and well said, Captain Serious.
I don't really talk about this stuff in real life.
I can only imagine how difficult it would be to discuss. It's such a huge burden to handle alone, though. You have to do whatever makes you feel best here, and I realize not everyone shares my need to talk scenarios through ad nauseum, but if you think it would be helpful to discuss, please don't avoid the topic because you are worried about how it might make him feel. Minimizing your feelings about this, in deference to anyone else's, just furthers the injustice.
You have all my well wishes tomorrow. Whatever you need, I pray you get through this weekend without too much pain.