Do you believe people can change?

[ashbridemd]

Please don't quote as I may DD later.

Serious question. I saw somewhere on here that "ashbride can never do/say anything right ever in my book." And it really got me thinking...Why? Why put so much energy into disliking someone so much because of things said/done in the past years before?

I truly believe people can change. People grow up, learn from their mistakes, etc...I am not this horrible monster I have been made out to be here. I was 16 and said some incredibly stupid shit. I've also said stupid shit here to purposely shit-stir...Who hasn't occasionally?

Bottom line....I don't wish ill on anyone here. I never have, although it seems that some of you think I like to make light of certain controversial topics. That's something that does upset me, having been through it myself as a young child.

Blame the White Zinfandel on this post, but meh...Just thought I would put it out there. Cause I lurk here often and there are people I genuinely like. If anything, I've brought a bit of entertainment to an otherwise tame Saturday night.

[cinderbella]

Sept 13, 2014 21:42:30 GMT -5 @smace said:

I thought ashbridemd was a troll. Am I thinking of someone else?

Nope. You're right.

[ashbridemd]

I don't know that I've acted like a "snatch recently", as I really don't post. Maybe like 6 months ago? I don't even remember the last time I posted something even somewhat controversial. I've generally just been trying to post in other threads with legit comments/advice.

[nsl]

I do believe people can change in dramatic ways when they put their whole heart into effecting the change. Maybe you're one of those people. The problem is that you've been so hateful that I can't bring myself to care one way or another.

[jane6672]

[ashbridemd]

That was going on 2 years ago. And it didn't exactly happen like that, as in oh I'm just doing this for funsies. There was possible child neglect going on and I had to make a decision. But I do take accountability for making the wrong choice, absolutely.

I've moved on, am in nursing school, and also work in the medical field. Lesson learned.

[TrickyBob]

If you had taken folks comments during your whole weight loss/hormones for weight loss thing, I think people would care more. But you were so hell bent on it and ignoring the very valid concerns that you turned so many people off. However, had you come back and said things that made you sound mature/like you truly got it, I think a lot would have moved past it. But you only come here to shit stir, not to be an actual active board member. You post flameful, get flamed, leave, repeat. It gets old.

[ashbridemd]

I don't think I've been hateful at all. Sure, there are certain people I dislike and don't agree with. There are certain topics I don't share the same view on. But if you're talking about what I think you're talking about, that was totally misconstrued because my dumb ass didn't read an entire post before responding, and I apologized profusely, and continue to do so.

[ashbridemd]

Sept 13, 2014 21:52:40 GMT -5 TrickyBob said:

If you had taken folks comments during your whole weight loss/hormones for weight loss thing, I think people would care more. But you were so hell bent on it and ignoring the very valid concerns that you turned so many people off. However, had you come back and said things that made you sound mature/like you truly got it, I think a lot would have moved past it. But you only come here to shit stir, not to be an actual active board member. You post flameful, get flamed, leave, repeat. It gets old.

I actually agree with this 1000%. That's why I asked if you believe people can change. That was such a dark period of my life, I can't even believe I was that person.

[aussiecrush]

Life experience tells me not likely, but I'm sure some people do.

[littlepeanut]

If you want to change your long storied rep then do it. This....isn't helping.

[TrickyBob]

Honestly? Just post, contribute, stop asking if and why people like you or don't. Get to know the board and maybe some day it'll be a memory and people will come to like you. Be prepared a lot will not but in my world, an effort counts more than just stirring stuff up.

[Deleted]

I see my opinion has already been covered in here.

[MWOS]

if people actually change, you can tell by their actions. Not their words.

[ashbridemd]

Sept 13, 2014 21:56:39 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

1. "I don't need to fuck myself. I have a man in my life. Something so many of you are lacking because you can't seem to keep your damn husbands. Why don't you all scissor the fuck out of each other and get it over with already.

*Vomits all over this thread*"

2. "Hey...namasteak....How about you suck my dick?"

What were the date of those posts?? LOL. Like I said...It's been a while. I went through a very dark period of my life that I have just come out of.

At the same time.... #2 I've seen said by a ton of posters here and it's taken very lightly. So I don't know if that's a good basis for "hateful".

I think, I'll take Trickybob's advice. Thanks, y'all!

[hisno1girl]

Yes, I believe some people can change.

I also believe that some things can't be forgotten. Ever.

[ashbridemd]

Sept 13, 2014 21:58:35 GMT -5 @astrid said:

If you really wanted to be perceived without your history, you'd get a new login. Using the same one brings the connotations everyone already has to your every post.

I've thought of doing this too. But really...once I was "outed" I have to wonder if it would really matter.

[MWOS]

Sept 13, 2014 22:02:51 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Are all the no people answering this way because it's ashbride? Or do you sincerely believe that people don't change?

Have you never changed? Are you essentially the same person you were at 21? This seems unlikely. (This is rhetorical. Please don't answer with all the ways you are the same as you were at 21.)

honestly, I'm the same person I was when I was 4 

[mrsrumfkin]

Sept 13, 2014 22:06:32 GMT -5 MWOS said:

Sept 13, 2014 22:02:51 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Are all the no people answering this way because it's ashbride? Or do you sincerely believe that people don't change?

Have you never changed? Are you essentially the same person you were at 21? This seems unlikely. (This is rhetorical. Please don't answer with all the ways you are the same as you were at 21.)

honestly, I'm the same person I was when I was 4 

This reminds me of when my mom finally got around to getting her tattoos and she was all "I'm still the same girl! I'm the same person I've been since I was little." Really? I think you missed some milestones, there...

[aussiecrush]

Sept 13, 2014 22:02:51 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Are all the no people answering this way because it's ashbride? Or do you sincerely believe that people don't change?

Have you never changed? Are you essentially the same person you were at 21? This seems unlikely. (This is rhetorical. Please don't answer with all the ways you are the same as you were at 21.)

We all grow to a point but I'm thinking of people like my bio dad, or MIL. Generally negative, unhappy people who take up space. I don't think at this point in their lives a wake up call is going to get them to stop being manipulative liars who use people. I've known one all my life and the other over a decade. Been through years of therapy with each of them and because of them. They are who they are and I'm sure they aren't alone in that.

[MWOS]

Sept 13, 2014 22:07:48 GMT -5 tators said:

Sept 13, 2014 22:06:32 GMT -5 MWOS said:

honestly, I'm the same person I was when I was 4 

a bad ass, high as shit, scientist?!

yes.

[lime]

I think it's *possible* for people to have a sudden change of heart, but it isn't very *probable*.

[sequins]

People change. Some for the better and some for a lot worse!! The problem is finding out who went in which direction, lol.

[cookietime]

I think people change, but I don't really care if they do. Unless I'm forced to interact with someone (co-worker, family member, friend's SO), I'm not going to spend time with or on a person I've known to be an asshole, even if they've changed and want another chance at being friends for whatever reason. There are over 7 billion people in the world, I don't need to be friends with all of them.

[kcr1972]

I don't think someone with a ugly soul has the ability to change. EVER

[marylennox]

I can think of many examples of people I know who've changed, as well as many who never will. Some people can, some people don't.

[cville]

Sept 13, 2014 22:20:52 GMT -5 killercupcake said:

Of course I believe people can change.

I just don't think that can be evaluated in 4 posts on an online message board.

True, man.

When one of those posts is "you know, I said mean stuff to stir things up BUT WHO HASN'T", i.e. diminishing and excusing the earlier behavior in a quasi defensive manner, I'm disinclined to believe the fundamental sea change in perspective and true self has yet occurred.

[ralphlauren]

Please go away.  

Seriously. 

[SKP82]

No one cares, ashbride. That ship has sailed for you here.

[sparkythelawyer]

Someone once said something here that stuck with me. The gist was that people don't change, they just show you more of who they are over time.

I think you're realizing that you've been a colossal dickface to this entire board, and now, "two years later" (which I question) you are trying to some how "get us all past it." But the things you said don't make anyone here want to go out of their way to get to know you. I hope you continue to grow and find peace and perspective an realize just how much your words have an effect on the people you say them to.