I really don't want to breast feed and the only reason I am considering doing it is guilt. My friends who did not BF seemed to be back to themselves and so much more awake and happy and in love with the newborn stage than my friends who BF. They left the house more, they got more done, they worried less (because they could easily tell how much the kid was eating), the transition back to work was easier, etc. I also am a shy person and do not want to NIP if I can avoid it, even though I have no problems whatsoever with anyone else doing it. And I get touched out very quickly and need my own space, so I think FFing and being able to trade off with H would be very helpful for that.
But then I worry that I am putting my kid at risk because of all the health benefits. But I wonder how strongly correlated those are because BF babies don't seem to stay any healthier than FF ones.
I hate when people make it sound like FF babies aren't healthy which isn't the case. If you don't want to BF then don't feel pressured. I really don't want to but I'm willing to try because of money. If formula was $1 a can I'd be all over it. I think you just have to make sure to be upfront with the nurses about it. I know one hospital around here seems to pressure moms and that's not what you need when it's a fine decision to FF. I'm hoping to pump during the day so that when H is home he can help with feedings too so I can have a little break.
Post by nextbigthing on Sept 15, 2014 10:41:41 GMT -5
I'm glad you posted this. This is one of those things I worry about too. Especially because I have to go back to work after 6 weeks and I work for a really demanding boss in a really fast paced environment and it's impossible for me to take scheduled breaks, I have to break when I can. I would say BF is by far the thing that stresses me out the most about having a new baby, I of course want to do what's best, but is FF the worst thing ever?
krystee IMO, don't stress yourself out about it. If it's not something you want to do, don't do it. Happy mom = happy baby.
Also, if you feel like you want to give it a go don't feel like you have to do it forever. I know a few women that BF'd for the first few weeks and then switched to formula for various reasons. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Sept 15, 2014 10:45:59 GMT -5
I'm planning on giving BFing a shot, but I will drop it in a red hot minute if it isn't working out and will feel precisely ZERO guilt about it. There is too much pressure on women to breastfeed nowadays. I hate it. You get zero prizes for BFing your kid vs. FFing your kid. Did you feed your kid? Yes? YOU SUCCESFULLY PARENTED THAT DAY.
Rant over. Sorry, this topic just always gets my hackles up :-)
Post by bluelikejazz on Sept 15, 2014 10:46:15 GMT -5
My plan is to try to BF (mostly for cost savings). If it's too stressful, I have no issues going to formula. I have 12 weeks mat leave, so a good chunk of time to figure it out, but honestly, since DH is going to SAH, I think formula might just be easier for all of us when I go back to work.
I am thinking of BFing for my mat leave and stopping after, but it feels kind of silly to get through the really tough part only to stop as soon as we get it all figured out. But then at least they'd have the colostrum. I still have a long time to think about and research it, so I will try not to worry about it for now!
I didn't bf my older son and he's perfectly healthy! As bandwife said Happy mom = happy baby. I'm in the same position as you this time around I've been getting a lot more pressure from my OB this time and I do feel guilty. However; I'm not sure that it's the right choice for our family and if you feel that way don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it.
BF was not fun last time. I had low supply issues and it was painful. I don't think I was able to lose the baby weight until after I stopped all together. I have no issues going to formula early this time if I have the same issues.
I did it last time, I tried to BF and hated it. I had no immediate guilt yet down the road I wished I had given it more of a shot. This time around I'm going to try to BF but honestly Im not that invested if it happens or not. Sometimes I feel like its something I am supposed to want to do but for me it just doesn't seem natural. Maybe that's an unpopular opinion but it's how I feel. Do what you feel is best for you. For us my H was so excited to be involved from the very beginning. This time he supports me trying to bf but he doesn't want me to stress over it. I plan on trying but also supplementing from the start to get rest when I need it. I don't feel it has to be all or nothing.
Post by starburst604 on Sept 15, 2014 11:10:50 GMT -5
I'm going to give it my best shot, but if it isn't working out I'm not going to torture myself. I also realllllly do not want to pump when I return to work, so I'd like to wean by the time I return from leave if possible. I also need my H to be able to help with the the MOTN feedings once we are both working full time again and don't know if that will work if I'm still breastfeeding.
Post by orangeglow on Sept 15, 2014 11:16:47 GMT -5
I'm not sure if my boobs work (reduction) so I will FF if I need to with no regrets AT ALL.
I want to BF because of the money savings is all. Food is food to a baby. I can also be a walking food dispensary like Rosie the Robot vs having to remember something else to pack!
If you want to FF, do it. I'm so tired of people judging others for their personal choices.
I BFed C for 17 months. We also supplemented with formula some. I remember being so caught up in EBF versus EFF that I failed to consider that there are many moms out there that do both, and they're not mutually exclusive. If you want to FF in public and BF at home, you can do that. Or if you want to send formula to DC and BF morning and night only, that's fine too. It really doesn't have to be all or nothing.
Oh, and FTR my BF kid had croup twice, RSV (5 day hospital stay), HFM, a million colds, a million ear infections, and strep. I think the health benefits of BF are overblown.
So you can train your output to let you just BF once in the morning and once at night? I would love to do that and had no idea that would actually work.
My child was exclusively FF from the get-go. I FF because, like you, I didn't want to BF. I don't feel any guilt about it because, frankly, she's my child, and how she is fed isn't up to anyone but me. She'll be a year old next week, and she's very healthy. She's in the top 10% in both height and weight. The illnesses she's caught have mostly been because of daycare.
I too had to go back to work at 6 weeks, so I completely understand the concern there. I found FF to be very easy with daycare. Just put some formula in a bottle, tell the daycare how much is in there, and they can add the water whenever she is ready to eat.
I don't know how it works with BF, as I didn't even try. Didn't want to. My child is fine being exclusively FF.
I BFed C for 17 months. We also supplemented with formula some. I remember being so caught up in EBF versus EFF that I failed to consider that there are many moms out there that do both, and they're not mutually exclusive. If you want to FF in public and BF at home, you can do that. Or if you want to send formula to DC and BF morning and night only, that's fine too. It really doesn't have to be all or nothing.
Oh, and FTR my BF kid had croup twice, RSV (5 day hospital stay), HFM, a million colds, a million ear infections, and strep. I think the health benefits of BF are overblown.
My EBF'd daughter had a similar string of illness, and has food allergies. So yea. It isn't a magic bullet. Do what is best for YOU! There is no bad solution. I will try to BF the twins, cause I feel more confident having the previous experience. But if it is too much I am not going to make a big deal over making a change.
So you can train your output to let you just BF once in the morning and once at night? I would love to do that and had no idea that would actually work.
Yep. Theoretically, supply should meet demand. It doesn't always work that way, but it can, especially once BF is established (so if you nurse during maternity leave and then wean down to morning/night, that should be okay).
I stopped pumping at work around 11 months and we nursed morning/nights/weekends for another 8 months.
I am thinking of BFing for my mat leave and stopping after, but it feels kind of silly to get through the really tough part only to stop as soon as we get it all figured out. But then at least they'd have the colostrum. I still have a long time to think about and research it, so I will try not to worry about it for now!
This is basically what I did. I HATED pumping at work and it was so stressful that I just decided I was done with it. I still nurse her in the morning, pump once when I get home from work, then nurse her before bed. During the week, she has two formula bottles and one BM bottle at daycare. On the weekends, I nurse her for every other feeding and we do formula in between. So far my supply has adjusted itself accordingly
If you want to FF then FF. I get really irritated when lactation consultants go in and try to shame moms. The 80s was all about FFing and my generation turned out alright. Do what works best for you!
I am not anti-formula and I certainly don't think it makes someone a bad mom.
I plan to try BFing and I look forward to some aspects of it, but I am worried too. I know several friends who really had a tough time with it (and some who had an easy time). I worry about pumping at work especially while I am already concerned about getting in enough hours in the first place. And, I am kind of worried about the inequity with my husband - I'd rather not set it up so that I'm the default caretaker. But we'll see how it goes.
As many have said, do what works for you and don't worry about nay-sayers.
DD BF until about 16 months but I wasn't opposed to FF at all if BF didn't work out. I'll use the same approach this time with the twins, but I really do hope BF works out again because of the added expense with FF two.
Post by Alwaysabridesmaidf on Sept 15, 2014 12:54:31 GMT -5
I will be FFing. I was FF. My siblings were all FF. None of us were very sick children. I get the benefits of BFing. I think it's beautiful, wonderful and amazing, but I came to the conclusion early on in the pregnancy that for perosnal reasons, it would not be for me. It's hard. And I have to defend my decision A LOT. I'm to the point now where people simply get "it's a personal choice" from me. I will love my baby just as much as the next mom and my baby will be healthy and well fed no matter how I choose to do it. Surprisingly my OB has been very supportive. Do what is best for you.
Post by estrellita on Sept 15, 2014 13:03:24 GMT -5
Don't feel guilty about FFing! I prefer personally to BF and/or pump (this would help with going back to work and having H do feedings) but if it doesn't work, I'm not going to freak out. I'm pretty sure I was FF as well as some of my friends kids, everyone is just fine! Do what is best for baby AND you! Mom needs to be happy and healthy too!
Post by busterpup on Sept 15, 2014 13:16:36 GMT -5
I happened to love BFing DD, but I think it's crazy for people to judge what others do. We did supplement with formula when she was going through growth spurts.
Post by thatgirl2478 on Sept 15, 2014 13:29:05 GMT -5
With DD1, I tried to EBF, but she kept losing weight so we ended up needing to supplement. In the end, I preferred to pump and bottle feed, then supplement with formula as needed. She never really took to nursing and at 3 mo my supply tanked, so we started EFF. No big deal. She's got a great immune system now and rarely gets sick.
I BFed C for 17 months. We also supplemented with formula some. I remember being so caught up in EBF versus EFF that I failed to consider that there are many moms out there that do both, and they're not mutually exclusive. If you want to FF in public and BF at home, you can do that. Or if you want to send formula to DC and BF morning and night only, that's fine too. It really doesn't have to be all or nothing.
Oh, and FTR my BF kid had croup twice, RSV (5 day hospital stay), HFM, a million colds, a million ear infections, and strep. I think the health benefits of BF are overblown.
I agree. I BF for 16 months and my kid has had croup, HFM, countless colds and ear infections. Do what works for you. I think its unfair that there is so much pressure to breastfeed that it leads to stress and guilt if the mother is unable/ doesn't want to. Like we don't have enough mom guilt floating around.
Post by ilikedonuts on Sept 15, 2014 13:51:42 GMT -5
I accidentally clicked this board, but I just wanted to chime in and say I didn't BF either of my girls (my oldest is almost 3 and my youngest is 10 months). My kids are happy, healthy and pretty darn perfect I knew BF wasn't for me. Don't do something just because you feel guilty. Do whatever works best for you!
I bfed dd till a year and it was the best and also the worst. I loved it but it caused me soooo much anxiety over every part of it. I plan to bf dd2 but also I will plan to supplement so hopefully my anxiety and stress doesn't get the best of me.