“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
I don't know. I know spanking CAN be cultural (I say that with parents from another country). But like I said before, this is extreme. I do, however, hope that the appointments AP is having with a psychologist really do help him and he can change.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Well, he is taking steps to do better. So, that's a step in the right direction. It is a LOT too soon, IMHO though.
Huh??
He is in counseling to learn new parenting methods. He was raised to discipline with whippings, and he is a very strong man. He IS trying to learn & change, which is good for him & his son (and other kids too).
I don't know. I know spanking CAN be cultural (I say that with parents from another country). But like I said before, this is extreme. I do, however, hope that the appointments AP is having with a psychologist really do help him and he can change.
I did see CB's comment and was WTFing that all over the place. I am from the South. No way do I think this is okay.
And this was NOT spanking. I do not know why people keep comparing this to spanking. He hit the kid repeatedly with a "switch," leaving lacerations. He even caught him on his testicles. This was not discipline. This was straight up abuse. It doesn't matter if AP received the same abuse as a child. The cycle needs to be broken.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
He is in counseling to learn new parenting methods. He was raised to discipline with whippings, and he is a very strong man. He IS trying to learn & change, which is good for him & his son (and other kids too).
Post by vampsterdam on Sept 15, 2014 21:21:41 GMT -5
Also, there needs to be more outrage about Hardy from the Panthers.
I know I already said that in another thread, but I can't comprehend that there was no punishment before. He actually hit her and then told her he wanted to kill her.
He is in counseling to learn new parenting methods. He was raised to discipline with whippings, and he is a very strong man. He IS trying to learn & change, which is good for him & his son (and other kids too).
Hmmm... Ray Rice is in counseling to learn new anger management techniques to not hit his wife. He may have been raised in a household where it was okay to for a husband to hit his wife. Maybe he's trying to learn and change, too???
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
He is in counseling to learn new parenting methods. He was raised to discipline with whippings, and he is a very strong man. He IS trying to learn & change, which is good for him & his son (and other kids too).
So the press release says....
Well, I am trying to maintain some faith in humanity. :/
You know what other argument I hate? The "My parents whipped me and I turned out okay!"
Just because it was done in the past, and you didn't become a serial killer because of it doesn't make it alright. Once upon a time, child labor was okay too. Shit changes because it's recognized to be fucked up.
Yep. I want to respond with, "I grew up in a household with drug and alcohol abuse, physical violence, and emotional abuse. I turned out just fine, so it's probably totes okay to expose my own daughter to those things!"
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
He is in counseling to learn new parenting methods. He was raised to discipline with whippings, and he is a very strong man. He IS trying to learn & change, which is good for him & his son (and other kids too).
Hmmm... Ray Rice is in counseling to learn new anger management techniques to not hit his wife. He may have been raised in a household where it was okay to for a husband to hit his wife. Maybe he's trying to learn and change, too???
I know I am about to sound naive as fuck but I really hope this is true and I hope it is true about AP too. The alternative to it being true is sad and awful. Maybe this will be a wake up call for both of them even though chances aren't good.
However, though I would like to believe they can change serious consequences still need to be faced. It is fucking beyond bullshit that they are letting him play. There is an innocent child involved and the fact that football games are being prioritized over making sure someone is punished for abuse of a child is sickening.
Post by sofamonkey on Sept 15, 2014 21:31:14 GMT -5
I am not defending him. He has at least admitted blame, which most people don't do, nor do they even attempt any behavior modification. That's all I am saying
And I think the Ray Rice BS is out of line. As a victim of abuse, I can only hope that people are willing to find some way to change. Otherwise, people will always be stuck & there is no hope.
Hmmm... Ray Rice is in counseling to learn new anger management techniques to not hit his wife. He may have been raised in a household where it was okay to for a husband to hit his wife. Maybe he's trying to learn and change, too???
I know I am about to sound naive as fuck but I really hope this is true and I hope it is true about AP too. The alternative to it being true is sad and awful. Maybe this will be a wake up call for both of them even though chances aren't good.
However, though I would like to believe they can change serious consequences still need to be faced. It is fucking beyond bullshit that they are letting him play. There is an innocent child involved and the fact that football games are being prioritized over making sure someone is punished for abuse of a child is sickening.
I guess I am on the opposite end of the spectrum and am extremely jaded after seeing spousal and child abuse personally.
Regardless of my personal feelings, he broke the law and should face the same legal repercussions that anyone else would. And if the NFL is going to fire RR for beating his wife, they should also fire AP for beating his son(s).
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
You know what other argument I hate? The "My parents whipped me and I turned out okay!"
Just because it was done in the past, and you didn't become a serial killer because of it doesn't make it alright. Once upon a time, child labor was okay too. Shit changes because it's recognized as fucked up.
This is why the Cris Carter statement is so great. (And I am not a fan of his. At. All.) He grew up with his Mom disciplining him and his siblings in this way, but it doesn't make it right. I mean come the fuck on. And what's killing me too is that this was not a spanking - he left him bloody and bruised. And HE'S FOUR!
And I think that the NFL and individual teams need to allow investigations to go forward before they take action. While McDonald from the 49ers is probably guilty as fuck of hitting his fiancee, he has not been charged yet. I am okay with him playing until the investigaiton is complete.
But here, AP has admitted that he did it. and the vikings and the nfl don't have the same burdens as the damn criminal justice system. It's disappointing that they moved so swiftly last weekend, only to back track today. Especially have a loss on Sunday.
He is in counseling to learn new parenting methods. He was raised to discipline with whippings, and he is a very strong man. He IS trying to learn & change, which is good for him & his son (and other kids too).
wtf.
how many classes does a person need to understand you don't bloody your children?
And the 'Ohh! don't know my own strength!" 'defense' is just bullshit.
Oh, I didn't mean it in a "he didn't know his own strength" way AT ALL!! I meant it more that he should have fucking know better because he is a man that works out & is strong as hell for a living, and he should have taken that into consideration before doing any physical punishment. It is completely different for his little mama to smack him (AP) as a kid, and if he is too foolish to realize that, well then he is just dumb as a box of rocks.
I just read up on AP's bio. His dad was a crack dealer and there are a lot of tragedies in his early life.
Not trying to defend him at all, it's just sort of amazing how even surviving those circumstances and becoming as successful as he is to participate in acts like these.
Post by rubysapphire on Sept 15, 2014 21:45:21 GMT -5
The entire situation is disgusting.
That being said, AP has been indicted. He hasn't been tried and convicted. He has acknowledged what happened, but he hasn't pled guilty in court (big difference legally). I think the situation is probably pretty complicated for the NFL and the Vikings right now, simply because an indictment is very different than a conviction.
But like I said, I'm disgusted by the whole thing.
Post by pixelpassion on Sept 15, 2014 21:48:21 GMT -5
I also hate how people try to argue and justify this sort of behavior as a consequence
Nothing is worth this kind of "discipline," this has more to do with poor parent problem solving skills, coping skills with frustration, etc than actually trying to teach your kid a lesson