I think I would want things to stay the same. Kids do need structure and to have someone be there for them. It sounds like it's more of a CS money issue than really spending time with him.
I would either stand your ground and say no, or like other people said talk to you son. See how he feels and what he would like to do.
I doubt he'd take it to court. When I met with the attorney last summer, she actually told me a ton of loopholes in our agreement that I could use if I have to, which I never want to do.
It sounds like you try to be accommodating and respectful of your ex. That's great. But here's the thing- you CAN say "no". Regardless of his motives, if it's a situation that you just don't think is best for your son, you don't have to do it. And don't feel guilty for it either!!
Thanks...I really want him to be the best dad ever, but he routinely falls short, and sadly, it was like this with his (bio)kids when we were together. DS loves his dad and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, XH isn't malicious or would ever do anything, intentionally, to hurt DS. Thing is, he doesn't realize when he's doing things UNintentionally.
Post by captainmel on Sept 16, 2014 13:19:17 GMT -5
I would say no. If he pushes back I would say you discussed it is DS's therapist and the therapist doesn't recommend it. (I would probably actually discuss it with the therapist too). If your DS is struggling with change and ex's relationships it seems like it would be a particularly bad idea.
I talked to DS about it last night (and I did not steer the conversation either way, FYI ) and at first he said he's "okay" with the current schedule, then he said "well maybe I could go on Wednesdays every other week". I say "okay, I can talk to Dad about that" and then a look of panic came over his face and he said "wait, that means you wouldn't see me for 3 days...maybe I'd better not do that." I told him it would be okay if that's what he wanted to do and it's not about me. He told me he'd rather keep it the same and "maybe when I get a little older we can make a change."
I'm going to email XH about it today. Crossing my fingers he'll be decent about it.