that I am a bad kisser. I thought he was kidding at first. He wasn't.... I am flabbergasted. Nobody has ever told me that I am not a good kisser. In fact, I thought that I was a great kisser. He claims I am too aggressive and use too much tongue. Why did he never tell me this before? I always assumed that he just didn't like kissing since we never really did it. Now I feel so self conscious..... like I need to go back to middle school and take kissing lessons or play spin the bottle. I guess I know what we will be practicing tonight.
Post by mcsangel2 on Sept 16, 2014 19:19:49 GMT -5
My DH isn't a good kisser. But I don't think there's a way to approach this without hurt feelings. Plus, we've been married 11 years, so I think that ship has sailed.
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
Ouch. I had to tell a college FWB that he was not a great kisser and he acted like he was mortally wounded, but a couple of quick pointers made a load of difference. Practice makes perfect! (star)
DH is not a great kisser and he knows it. He has a very very short tongue and is a bit tongue tied (clipped when he was a baby but didn't really do much).
I do most of the work while we are kissing and I'm pretty okay with it. I used to pride myself on my kissing abilities (hey, I like to acknowledge my skills) but feel like when it is one sided it's just not the same.
DH does always ask to make out and I kind of tilt my head because I feel like a pigeon is about to attack me with multiple pecks. Poor DH.
Practice! We often talk about what we like/dislike/want to "adjust". Sometimes in the heat of the moment I even have to tell DH to back off a smidge and not squish my nose so I can breath. He's constantly doing this. (Ahem, last night I felt smothered with his kisses and reached my hands up to his face and took control for a minute, pulling his head back a little and biting his lip gently. LOL)
IMO, feedback is awesome. It improves intimacy! It just has to be relayed properly.
I would keep up the dialogue, and make sure that going forward it's done in a respectful manner.
Omg! My H and I have incompatible kissing styles too. He's not very... Smooth about it . We'll be kissing... Kissing... Kissing woah was that tounge?! Kissing kissing bite on the lip!
I can never say anything. He's an engineer- he had so few chances to land a girl that any criticism would wilt his ego too much.
Post by autumnfire on Sept 17, 2014 12:36:50 GMT -5
DH and I have different styles. He kisses like he's ready to take my clothes off with all the tongue swishing. While I like to go slow and soft (when kissing LMAO).
Sorry he told you but it's good that you guys can kind of feel this out. Perhaps with him opening up maybe there's something about his kissing that you don't particularly care for? I don't think it makes you a HORRIBLE kisser either. It just means you both have different styles of how you like to kiss.
I don't even remember the last time I kissed DH. He is... not great. lol Sorry rikki.
Ok, whatever, I have to ask. How do you get to wanting to have sex without any kissing lol?
I feel like I'm in high school asking a grown up a question .
I can't believe how many people don't like kissing their husbands!
lol, I have never been a big kisser. H isn't terrible, just not awesome enough for me to care enough to engage. I can get to go-time no problem. I will totally annoyingly make out with him when I am drunk.
I don't even remember the last time I kissed DH. He is... not great. lol Sorry rikki.
Ok, whatever, I have to ask. How do you get to wanting to have sex without any kissing lol?
I feel like I'm in high school asking a grown up a question .
I can't believe how many people don't like kissing their husbands!
Usually a back massage.... lol... He assured me repeatedly that everything other than the kissing is great. We do kiss and I like it... I guess he just wants less tongue.
I'm impressed you all kiss your husbands with tongues. I assume it's not a "hello/goodbye" kiss.
Wait what, lol? You only kiss your husband without tongue? rikki, between this and Glamma, you have brought the board some great stuff today.
We make out with tongue, our foreplay is with tongue and sometimes, hello and goodbye is with tongue.
Oh, and sometimes, I just randomly say, "Let's kiss" and then we kiss with tongue. And then most of the time afterward (only when it's true), I say, "That was nice." Then he agrees lol. Because we're 12.
You are adorable
It's funny reading threads from a bunch of women who have been married a long time. I find myself thinking "is this what I have to look forward to if I get married? Not wanting to kiss anymore?" Never mind that I was married before, LOL. I guess my difference is that I never really liked kissed my XH much to begin with (but the sex was good!) but I do actually enjoy kissing my BF without even having sex. I hope that doesn't change!
I'm impressed you all kiss your husbands with tongues. I assume it's not a "hello/goodbye" kiss.
Wait what, lol? You only kiss your husband without tongue? rikki, between this and Glamma, you have brought the board some great stuff today.
We make out with tongue, our foreplay is with tongue and sometimes, hello and goodbye is with tongue.
Oh, and sometimes, I just randomly say, "Let's kiss" and then we kiss with tongue. And then most of the time afterward (only when it's true), I say, "That was nice." Then he agrees lol. Because we're 12.
Ok, whatever, I have to ask. How do you get to wanting to have sex without any kissing lol?
I feel like I'm in high school asking a grown up a question .
I can't believe how many people don't like kissing their husbands!
Usually a back massage.... lol... He assured me repeatedly that everything other than the kissing is great. We do kiss and I like it... I guess he just wants less tongue.
I would chalk that up not to bad technique, but personal preferences
Wait what, lol? You only kiss your husband without tongue? rikki, between this and Glamma, you have brought the board some great stuff today.
We make out with tongue, our foreplay is with tongue and sometimes, hello and goodbye is with tongue.
Oh, and sometimes, I just randomly say, "Let's kiss" and then we kiss with tongue. And then most of the time afterward (only when it's true), I say, "That was nice." Then he agrees lol. Because we're 12.
You are adorable
It's funny reading threads from a bunch of women who have been married a long time. I find myself thinking "is this what I have to look forward to if I get married? Not wanting to kiss anymore?" Never mind that I was married before, LOL. I guess my difference is that I never really liked kissed my XH much to begin with (but the sex was good!) but I do actually enjoy kissing my BF without even having sex. I hope that doesn't change!
No. We've been married over 12 years and we still kiss a lot. I'm pretty amazed at the number of people in this thread that don't kiss their H's.