Poll: Were you spanked as a kid?

[AmyRI]

Not that I remember, but I also wouldn't be shocked if I had been at some point. It surely would have been a swat with a bare hand. DH and his siblings, on the other hand... 100% certain they were spanked, and that was not the worst of it.

[anna7602]

Often. I still distinctly remember one incident in which I stood up on a table at a restaurant where we were eating and proceeded to scream every swear word I knew. I was probably 3 or 4 years old. I got spanked by both parents on that occasion. Usually, it was just my mom. I was spanked for many lesser incidents. 

[cincodemayo]

Only a handful of times and never hard. My mom slapped me once which I completely unlike her but I think I had driven her to a breaking point.

[Deleted]

Nope.

My parents were the masters of "we're not mad, just disappointed in you."

[ladygrey]

Yes, occasionally, but only with a hand, never a belt/switch.

[glitzy07]

A few times, maybe 2-3 that I vaguely recall. Open palm on a clothed bottom. Not enough or in a way at all to have been affected negatively by it.

That said, we have (unfortunately) spanked SS before during a particularly naughty phase (in the same manner as mentioned above) but very quickly realized it did nothing other than make us feel shitty so it hasn't happened again and we don't plan to with SS and future children.

[noodleskooze]

Yes. Hands or a wooden spoon/spatula and almost always by my mom.

[fortmyersbride]

Yes, but just a light swat, and probably less than 5 times total.

[turtlegirl]

I think my mom said she tried it once and it didn't work at all and I just got more upset. Never did it again. She also said she could never yell at me because I would cry so hard and legit forget what I was being punished for.

My step dad would yell at me as an older kid/tween and I would have to fight back tears every time. Then he'd freak out on me even more and claim I was crying to get out of a punishment. I remember my mom trying to explain to him over and over that yelling didn't work with me even as a baby and he just didn't believe her. So frustrating.

[Willis Jackson]

Sept 16, 2014 20:44:49 GMT -5 @roseyposey said:

Nope.

My parents were the masters of "we're not mad, just disappointed in you."

OMG, mine too. 

[bunch]

Sept 16, 2014 20:44:49 GMT -5 @roseyposey said:

Nope.

My parents were the masters of "we're not mad, just disappointed in you."

I mean this not to take away the severity of spanking and especially abuse, but those words were the worst punishment imaginable for me.  Especially coming from my dad, whose opinion I cared about more than anything else.

I've mentioned before that I had a child psych professor who made a big impact on me and he implored us to never use this phrase because it tells kids that "I thought highly of you and I no longer do."   Ugh.  I'm sad just thinking about it.

[Marmee]

Rarely but my oldest brother was quite a bit & that deterred all 4 of us younger kids.

[Deleted]

Yes.
Not to the extent the PPs describe though. A swat on the butt in the moment and we all moved on.
I kind of hate to admit this...but for us it worked in the shape up department.

We do not spank our kids. I have swatted hands a few times and felt bad enough about that. (Think quick "get your hands off the stove" instant reaction sort of thing).

[elocrates]

ETA: Deleted what I wrote after posting. "The internet remembers everything," etc.

[teatimefor2]

Sept 16, 2014 20:51:04 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

Sept 16, 2014 20:44:49 GMT -5 @roseyposey said:

Nope.

My parents were the masters of "we're not mad, just disappointed in you."

OMG, mine too. 

This was also my parents, especially my mom.

[halfpint]

My dad did it exactly once, and I've heard repeatedly over the years that it upset him more than it upset me.

My mom slapped me when I was 15. I had called her a bitch. I deserved that. I would have slapped me at that age, too - I was kind of horrible.

[greycat]

I was swatted on the butt a couple of times as a young child. I don't really remember it.

[Saudade]

Sept 16, 2014 20:44:49 GMT -5 @roseyposey said:

Nope.

My parents were the masters of "we're not mad, just disappointed in you."

Not spanked. But my parents also used disappointment and I think it had a great (negative) impact on me. I won't do that, or spanking, to my kids. 

[IndiaInk]

Yep. My parents believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child" and it was the go-to punishment for more serious behaviors like wilfull disobedience. They didn't see it as abuse but we did get hit with wooden spoons, hands and switches. I remember them *usually* being fairly calm about it, and we would have to go to their bedroom and get our bottom paddled and it hurt like hell. But they'd always sit down with us afterward and discuss it calmly and hug us. I honestly don't think it was an effective behavior modifier. Being spanked just pissed me off so much that all I recall from it is being so angry and humiliated. My parents definitely lost their tempers and spanked in anger a few times that I remember.
I won't spank my kid(s). I don't think it is effective and only serves to make the kid angry. And I don't want to risk losing my temper while hitting a child. At best it's pointless and at worst, it's abusive.
My parents are truly wonderful people and raised great well adjusted, non violent kids. We all have great relationships with our parents. But looking back, I disagree with some of their discipline methods.

[starlily]

No, but my mom kept a tree branch on top of the refrigerator as a silent threat.

One day I took the branch and threw it into the yard. My mom never said a word, but a few days later there was a bigger branch on top of the fridge.

Neither ever got used. I was easily scared by the mere prospect of spanking.

[lmb5109]

Yep, from my mom, mostly with a wooden spoon and when I was older, I tasted every kind of soap that was made. I was a pretty mouthy kid. My dad would just give me a disappointed look and it would crush me. I'm trying to master this look now for when DD grows up.

[lostlenore]

Sept 16, 2014 20:37:56 GMT -5 h said:

No. My mother is deeply opposed to all forms of physical discipline. My father likely could have gone either way, but it is a hill to die for my mom, and I don't think he fought it (he would have lost).

This is how DH and I are. He defers to me b/c I feel so strongly about it. 

I was never spanked as a kid, but that was only b/c I was a pretty easy kid (and when I was bad, I hardly ever got caught). But my sister was spanked, so it's not like my parents were opposed to it. 

[bunnymendelbaum]

Yes.

We actually had a wooden board that hung on a nail in the kitchen. We'd scratch our names on it after we were spanked. We also got it with hands and maybe a belt once. Always on the butt.

It sounds terrible to type that out, but in the area we grew up everyone I knew spanked. My neighbors had to go pick a switch off the willow tree even.

My DH and I do not spank our kids and my parents do not spank any of their grandchildren.

As an adult, I don't feel traumatized by it, but I do feel it is my duty to stop the cycle. I realize my parents did it because it was the only way they had ever witnessed children being disciplined. I'm not saying it's right, it is not. It's abuse. But I understand why it was their method and first reaction. I'm glad they been able to come so far.

I will confess I smacked DD1 once when she was 2. She was on top of her friend and was biting her friend HARD on the butt. The girl was screaming in pain. In my split second reaction I knew I couldn't yank her away (I was already yelling stop) because she would have bitten off a chunk of the girl's butt. So I swatted her hard on the leg.
She stopped biting her, but cried so hard and just could not understand why I would hit her. I was crying too. The look on her face was as if her world had been shattered. Why would my mom hurt me on purpose??

I've never done it again and never will.

[heygrey]

yes. 

eta: erasing details. 

we will not spank our child(ren). 

[hermione]

Nope.

[mandapanda18]

Yes, hand, belt, wooden spoon (grandma), I will not bring doing that to my kid. Smack on the hand when he is about to grab something dangerous, sure, but not as punishment more like redirection/warning. I was hit in the face with a ring on in h.s. I went to class with two black eyes and a gash on my nose for smart mouthing my mom, cps was called (by a teacher) and I was beat again for telling.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2014 20:53:13 GMT -5 @this said:

Sept 16, 2014 20:51:04 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

OMG, mine too. 

"We still love you, but we've lost our trust in you. You'll earn it back... eventually."

This was my parents' go to in high school. lol

My parents were so good at this, that they didn't even need to say it. If I knew that they knew I did something wrong/bad, I would punish myself (mentally) worse than they ever would. I have the guiltiest conscience even today.

[docholly]

A handful of times. It was the old fashioned over your knee thing. I was a pretty good kid.

[niq]

Infrequently, usually on the hand but a couple of times the over mom's knee on the butt. Not the go-to form of discipline, only used for Really Bad Behavior. No belts or washing out with soap.

[scribellesam]

I was spanked once or twice, but generally I was such a sensitive kid that my mom says all she had to do was look at me sternly and I'd stop doing whatever it was.