mixing family and business

[Susie]

It will be easier if you haven't been talking to them all along about your plans/intentions to do this project. Do they have any expectation that you'll hire BIL?

One of my friends has a really strong and fast rule about not mixing friends/family and business. We're all close friends and triathletes, but she won't go to the friend who is a physical therapist when she needs PT; she won't attend my swim clinics but will go to another coach's on the same night of the week, etc., etc. She's really clear about it: she does not mix the two. That makes it easier for us not to be offended/take it personally when she seeks services elsewhere. It's not about us, it's about her. Maybe try emulating that - although you have to really walk the walk on that one.

[lelolopa]

If you were satisfied with the job BIL did in the past, then i would hire him again.  Otherwise you might find it the hard way that a lot of contractors are liers and that your BIL is not that bad.  He at least won't just take your money and never show up.  
i would sit down with him and write a contract of what you need and want and don't worry expressing your dissatisfaction and demand fixes.

[10nille]

I'd hire my BIL if he did the job to my satisfaction the first time. A clear contract of what you want should eliminate you being a control freak, but that is your right as a customer. I'm sure he has dealt with other people before who are demanding. Plus, he knows you and probably understands it is business. If your sister needs the money and you hire someone else then plan on this being a wedge in your relationship. Not worth it if you really do love them and get along great. Who knows he may not be interested in the job.

Plus, I prefer someone I know and trust in my home.

[aurora]

If you're definitely not wanting to hire him but you've already told them about the project, I would tell them you don't want to mix family and money for such a big project because you care too much about your relationship and don't want to risk damaging it if something goes wrong. You can reassure him that you continue to recommend him to friends based on the great job he did on the earlier project.

[Deleted]

I would try talking to him. Good contractors are hard to find.

I had two nightmare contractors. One was clearly on drugs and just never showed up. He made an error which caused serious structural damage to my house which we then had to repair. His replacement made other huge errors like not sealing off my wall before putting in my cabinets, so that mice can come right in and there's nothing I can do about it. He also used window sealant to seal my PVC pipes instead of PVC glue. My dad redid a bunch of the work. It was awful- I paid 20k for shoddy work. I also had a flooring installation nightmare which involved a 2-day project taking 6 days over 6 months because incompetent people kept ordering the wrong size supplies. I am honestly terrified of all contractors at this point. I've yet to hire one and have him do the job to even an adequate level.

[mollybrown]

I agree with the others that say they would use BIL if he did good work. I'd have a frank conversation with him and say "Look BIL, I would love to hire you for my basement project. I love the quality of the work you do. I know you found it challenging to work with me last time because I'm such a stickler for details. This project is really important to me, so I really need to be able to be specific about what I need. Are you interested in doing the job knowing that?" Leave the ball in his court to decide if he wants to do the job on your terms.

I always have trouble finding people to do this kind if work, so I'd jump for joy if I has someone I trusted that I could use.

[my4girls]

Sept 17, 2014 5:55:31 GMT -5 mollybrown said:

I agree with the others that say they would use BIL if he did good work. I'd have a frank conversation with him and say "Look BIL, I would love to hire you for my basement project. I love the quality of the work you do. I know you found it challenging to work with me last time because I'm such a stickler for details. This project is really important to me, so I really need to be able to be specific about what I need. Are you interested in doing the job knowing that?" Leave the ball in his court to decide if he wants to do the job on your terms.

I always have trouble finding people to do this kind if work, so I'd jump for joy if I has someone I trusted that I could use.

I think this is perfect.

that said- I HATE when DH does work for friends/ family and after he was sued by a friend after a job I've now told him he's not allowed to work for family/ friends anymore 

[Deleted]

@chloe77 more importantly, please share what your plans are for this total kickass basement. ASAP

In all seriousness, hire him if he did good work before. It sounds like a good little personal "challenge" if you will for you to be more comfortable being the authority figure when you hired him to do the work. So many have had absolutely terrible experiences with others....I would not want u to go through that. So stressful.

[nomad100]

A good contractor is gold! Post on H&G asking about contractor nightmares. Several of the ladies did/are doing projects and have lots of stories to share.

I like what a PP said about setting expectations before hand and then letting him decide if he is willing to have a client (even if it is his SIL) that expects the very best.

[ECB]

Sept 16, 2014 20:22:55 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

 I felt like (even though I might be way off base) he thought I was too picky, too much of a perfectionist. 

One thing I know I'd do - I wouldn't NOT use him because of this. A feeling. For the fact that you say you may be off base - is there ANYTHING you can base this feeling on?    This is why I like what mollybrown wrote.  It's a great way to address your perfectionism and it gives him an out if he'd rather not work with you. 

But really... I doubt you're the first "perfectionist" he's worked with.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2014 20:52:24 GMT -5 lelolopa said:

If you were satisfied with the job BIL did in the past, then i would hire him again.  Otherwise you might find it the hard way that a lot of contractors are liers and that your BIL is not that bad.  He at least won't just take your money and never show up.  
i would sit down with him and write a contract of what you need and want and don't worry expressing your dissatisfaction and demand fixes.

This is what I was thinking. Normally I'd say great, use someone else. But so many contractors are terrible.

[cheezer]

I would normally not mix family with business. Except finding contractors seems to be impossible just based on the stories I read on here and ijack's experience which left me feeling the need to fly to her town and burn down the contractor's house. I'd be willing to give it a shot since you've been pleased with his work before. Several people had good suggestions for what to say to him to iron out all the details.