Today was the funeral for my friend's husband who killed himself last week. He was a local police officer and shot himself in his parked car in the station parking lot. Last night the line for the viewing was wrapped around outside the entire funeral home. My mom and I stood in line for two hours, and I have no idea how my friend stood up there for hours and hours last night and again this morning. I don't think I could do it. I can't stop thinking about her and her two little boys. She was my best friend throughout grade school, and last night she hugged me as if not a day has gone by since then. My heart is broken for her.
Also, while I'm being a downer, we found out recently that my mom has breast cancer. I've said before that I feared her turning 60 (which she did earlier this year) because her mother was only 62 when she died (of breast cancer). Fortunately she caught it early, the prognosis is good, and she does not have the BRCA mutation which is also good news for me and my sisters. She is leaning towards a lumpectomy, soon-ish. So she should be, will be fine, but that word, CANCER, is just so scary. I am just not ready to lose either of my parents. I think it often about my kids, but it really extends to my parents too: I wish I could freeze time right now. After the cancer is gone, of course.
And now I've finished my bottle of wine and wish I had more. :/
Oh Kristin, I'm so sorry. I wish I could hug you like you hugged your friend tonight. Just hug hug hug to you. I can't imagine the pain your friend is feeling. You are a wonderful friend just being there for her. I'll send prayers for your mom, too. Early intervention is a good thing. Deep breaths. And more hugs.
Post by compassrose on Sept 16, 2014 21:21:05 GMT -5
It sounds like both your friend and your mom are lucky to have you. That's a lot riding on your shoulders right now. I hope your mom comes through it as easily as possible.
Post by missmaddie on Sept 16, 2014 21:22:34 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to hear they're going through this- both as a police wife and as a wife in general. I'm sure your hug and continued presence in her life all this time will mean so much to her at such a terrible time.
I'm also sorry about your mom's news. I wish all the best.
I'm so sorry about both your friend and your mom. ((hugs)) Watching a loved one go through cancer (which IS a scary, scary word) is awful, even if the prognosis is good.
Post by snipsnsnails on Sept 16, 2014 21:26:58 GMT -5
Oh friend, I didn't know. I'm so sorry. It's not fair. Not at all. My heart hurts for you and your friend and your mom. I'm sending so much love to you. If you need to talk, you can always PM me. (((((Hugs))))))
I just want to give you hugs. I am so sorry to hear about your friend and then your mom's diagnosis. Sending good thoughts her way and keeping you in my thoughts too.
Post by sapphireblue on Sept 16, 2014 21:47:44 GMT -5
My heart aches for your friend, I can't even imagine. I hope all goes well for your mom, I am glad the prognosis is so good. I'm sorry though, it IS scary.
Lots of hugs to you. I'm so sorry about your friend's h. And I'm sorry about your mom - it's great that it was caught early and the prognosis is good, but you're right. Hearing the word "cancer" is always scary.
Post by bubblywater on Sept 16, 2014 23:07:43 GMT -5
I made it through my husband's funeral...all the hours, all the hugs from strangers...because I was really angry with him. I found out some bad financial stuff that had been hidden from me and I was pissed. She was probably angry too and knew everyone needed to hug her so she let them, that's what I did. I basically spent the whole day making other people feel better about my dead husband, it is surreal. And at the end of the day you smell like all those perfumes and colognes and just want a shower.
I made it through my husband's funeral...all the hours, all the hugs from strangers...because I was really angry with him. I found out some bad financial stuff that had been hidden from me and I was pissed. She was probably angry too and knew everyone needed to hug her so she let them, that's what I did. I basically spent the whole day making other people feel better about my dead husband, it is surreal. And at the end of the day you smell like all those perfumes and colognes and just want a shower.
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. My aunt had breast cancer but after she had a mastectomy, she was good. It's been over year since then to. I'm hoping the same for your mom. (((hugs)))