A guy I went out with once told me this morning that had bought something last week and had things ready to commit suicide.
WHHHHHAAATTTT???
This was a complete mind fuck!
So I went on a day with this guy last week. I went well but I saw certain things that raised orange flags. We were going out last night after class and he texted me that he could no go because something had happened but that he would talk to me today.
I text him today and asked him what was going on and then he said he really really liked me and that he had to get to know me better and perhaps think about a relationship and that because of that he had to tell me something. He said that he suffers from depression and that he had a crisis last night but he took his medication and that everything was better today.
I guess telling me this kind of opened the gates and he told me that he felt truly unhappy and explained his reasons for this in a very calm manner. Dude, if anyone has read Steppenwolf, this is how he behaved. He then said that he had bought cyanide last week and even went to describe all the lengths he went into to be able to buy it. He then said that he was just waiting to have the courage to take it.
I was on the phone with him for like an hour trying to convince him to get rid of the thing. I did tell him that he needed to tell any of his friends or relatives about this because I was a stranger and could do nothing for him.
He is having surgery tomorrow for something and then said that he would hope that something went wrong.
I called the police and the only thing I have about the guy is his full name. We don't have the databases that you guys have in the US so they told me there was not much they could do.
I decided that I will slowly step away from this but I will keep urging him to get help. His family knows he has depression and should be in the look out for this? I don't know. I think I did what I had to do but I hope he does get help because he was so calm when he was telling me everything.
So I went on a day with this guy last week. I went well but I saw certain things that raised orange flags. We were going out last night after class and he texted me that he could no go because something had happened but that he would talk to me today.
I text him today and asked him what was going on and then he said he really really liked me and that he had to get to know me better and perhaps think about a relationship and that because of that he had to tell me something. He said that he suffers from depression and that he had a crisis last night but he took his medication and that everything was better today.
Wowzers. I'm glad you called the police. I think you did the right thing and good for stepping away. Hopefully He can find help with his depression.
I didn't realize that the State Trooper Killing story made national news. The trooper is from my town and they cancelled classes today at my university to hold the viewing there. I feel for his family and I hope they find the dangerous man who shot him.
Post by onedayatatime on Sept 17, 2014 18:15:17 GMT -5
Today was another super busy day at work...and I had to meet xh today over lunch to remove his name from our last joint account and sign some papers for the deed transfer on the house.
I have to give major props to all of you with children who have to see your ex's regularly. I hadn't seen mine since June and seeing today really threw me. I was reserved, all business, but afterwards felt very down remembering happy times and then being angry and then wishing I said this or that.
I thought I was doing so much better and finding happiness -- but seeing him really made me realize again how much it feels like I lost.
I think it really will be the last time I have to see him though, unless I run into him while out somewhere.
T-10 minutes until bedtime for the kiddo. And I'll be exactly 15 minutes behind him. I'm exhausted after being awake now for 40 hours. I can normally do the average 36 hours that is required when I have him and I work so long as I at least get to close my eyes for an hour each afternoon. That didn't happen today. I'm beat.
Today was another super busy day at work...and I had to meet xh today over lunch to remove his name from our last joint account and sign some papers for the deed transfer on the house.
I have to give major props to all of you with children who have to see your ex's regularly. I hadn't seen mine since June and seeing today really threw me. I was reserved, all business, but afterwards felt very down remembering happy times and then being angry and then wishing I said this or that.
I thought I was doing so much better and finding happiness -- but seeing him really made me realize again how much it feels like I lost.
I think it really will be the last time I have to see him though, unless I run into him while out somewhere.
I have these same feelings every few weeks when I switch DS back and forth with my ex. I do okay for awhile but then the feelings come back. Therapy has really helped though. Hugs! I'm sorry it was tough.
stephreloaded uh...wow...that is quite something to dump on a stranger. I hope that guy gets the help he needs and that you know you did everything you could!
@stpete all I could think was "at least you have one carpet getting soaked...too bad its the wrong one" ba-dum-bum. But seriously...sorry lady, that sucks. But the synagoge sounds cool. I am not religious, I don't think I could be, but I have found myself missing the community aspect of church. But I don't know where I could go...even non-denominational churches feel like they would be wrong to me since I would not call myself a christian.
onedayatatime I haven't seen STBX since May, and I am pretty sure we will be able to have our final hearing thingy next month, so I will see him when we sign off on the divorce. I feel like I will be ok, that I am in a good, mostly happy place. I have realized all the things that were wrong in our relationship, so I would think that I can see him without being sad...but the heart can be dumb sometimes. I try not to think about it because it makes me anxious. Whatever happens happens. I am planning a trip to Orlando when I do head out, so I have a positive thing to look forward to (yay new Harry Potter land!)
Post by kitkat1502 on Sept 17, 2014 18:50:52 GMT -5
I can't tag but steph gosh I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That's a lot to process.
I wound up getting hump after all. P stopped by on his way home from a work event and he brought me one of the leftover bottles of champagne and a pumpkin cupcake.
I'm going to meet the not date guy for tea/coffee soonish. Well hopefully. We are waiting for everyone to leave so he can close the range. I'm so tired but this is worth it.
@stpete I asked around to find mine. Word of mouth is usually best.
Post by onedayatatime on Sept 17, 2014 19:48:34 GMT -5
@stpete - sorry you are having a hard time.
While not foolproof - I found a good counselor by being super judgy about their website - do they look friendly/nice in the picture? Is it up to date? Did they post enough info? Too much? Helpful stuff or just random blurbs?
@stpete I'm sorry that you are having a tough time. Therapy has really helped me a lot and I am a big believer in it. You can check with your insurance company and get a list of providers that they cover. Most insurances cover LPC's, LCSW's, and psychologists for counseling. I don't necessarily recommend one over the one but it does help open up the variety in which you can choose from. You could also ask your PCP or OB/GYN if they have any recommendations. They both deal with mental health concerns on a regular basis and should have some resources for you. Also, check with your friends. They may know of someone personally that they may be able to recommend. A lot of employers offer EAP programs that provide short term counseling (usually 6-10 sessions) for free to their employees. It's totally confidential! You typically make a phone call to a 1-800 number that is a separate insurance company that your employer uses to handle the EAP claims and they set you up with a therapist on their list. It never gets back to your employer that you are the one using the services. Also, if you aren't on any medications don't be afraid to ask for an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication that can help you feel better too. Your PCP would be able to prescribe them for you.
Once you have the names of a few therapists you can google search them for reviews, verify their licenses and make sure that they are legit. Don't be afraid to switch therapists if you don't click with one and don't get frustrated if you have to go through a couple before you find the right fit. Huge hugs! Hang in there. I hope this helps.
Post by 1confused1 on Sept 17, 2014 20:16:28 GMT -5
@stpete it took me 4 tries to find a therapist that I really clicked with and like. I found some through my EAP, did a google search and ultimately found this one from a friend.
I have to say that I have met a lot of crazy counselors in my personal experiences of mental illness. It's never a good sign to wonder if your therapist is crazier than you! Lol But there are some really awesome ones out there. Good luck!
Hugs stpete. I found mine through my insurance. I have found it so helpful. Marriage and relationship stuff is like 20% of what we talk about, the rest of it is all about me and my issues...and I have a lot of them, even though I try to pretend I don't. My therapist is actually a Dr, which inspires more confidence for me personally...she also specializes in eating disorders, and while I don't have one, I have serious self esteem issues, so many of my problems fall right in her area of expertise.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
There will be humping tonight because we were both too tired last night and the night before.
So, Saturday I had an interesting experience. I was helping a friend of mine, who was pretty drunk, get changed and she leaned over and started kissing me and feeling me up. I wasn't as drunk and felt kinda bad actually so I stopped her. But, it was kinda hot!
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
There will be humping tonight because we were both too tired last night and the night before.
So, Saturday I had an interesting experience. I was helping a friend of mine, who was pretty drunk, get changed and she leaned over and started kissing me and feeling me up. I wasn't as drunk and felt kinda bad actually so I stopped her. But, it was kinda hot!
Is it creepy if I like this?
Not at all..lol..I'd like it if you posted something similar!