Facebook: former students?

[wildfloweragain]

My policy has always been to not accept friend requests from former students.  That sounds like an obvious plan but it's starting to get hairier.  The older I get, the more my entire town is filled with former students.  We cross paths lots of ways.  I am friends /coworkers with some of their parents, at this point, some of them are student teaching in my school, may end up colleagues as well.  One girl in particular (the one that is starting to make me really question my stance) is 21 and going through her father's cancer.  Her mom is a colleague and facebook friend of mine. I've sent cards to the whole family I'm here if you need anything.  The girl is asking to be friends on facebook.

And if I say yes, all of her friends will see that and want to fb friend me too. 

What say you:  time to start picking and choosing or keep saying no former students?

If I do accept any friends, it would be graduates.  I teach 2nd grade.  Also, I never even post anything so I don't know why someone would want to friend me. 

Extra info:  my sister is a fb "friend" and she is inappropriate.

[redheadk]

If it is someone you otherwise have a personal relationship with, I'd accept their friend request.

I taught 5th, fwiw. My first 5th graders (2nd year of teaching) just graduated in May and I don't live in their community so I haven't dealt with that but I do have a former student that I was close with that moved away and she occasionally will send me a message on FB, though we aren't friends. It's nice to catch up with her every so often; she is an amazing kid.

[missmaddie]

You can limit your friends to private so people won't see her in your friend list. People may see interactions though, but not if you limit it to PMs.

You can probably also limit how many of your sister's inappropriate things: hide things she posts on your timeline, have your setting require permission to be tagged in pics or comments, and avoid commenting on her inappropriate updates so your friends won't see "X commented on Her Sister's post."

I think enough time has passed between when this girl was your student and now, and it spuds like your card and thoughtfulness were appreciated.

[game blouses]

It's tricky. I taught high school and there are a select few students I would accept as friends (though I haven't yet). In your student's case, I'd accept her and put her on a very limited visibility.

[wildfloweragain]

Sept 17, 2014 18:48:43 GMT -5 missmaddie said:

You can limit your friends to private so people won't see her in your friend list. People may see interactions though, but not if you limit it to PMs.

You can probably also limit how many of your sister's inappropriate things: hide things she posts on your timeline, have your setting require permission to be tagged in pics or comments, and avoid commenting on her inappropriate updates so your friends won't see "X commented on Her Sister's post."

I think enough time has passed between when this girl was your student and now, and it spuds like your card and thoughtfulness were appreciated.

Thanks.  Maybe I should look at what people can see.  I have everything set to super private, and I don't let my sister tag me or message me. I can see the stuff she posts, but maybe others can't.  That helps. 

[cabbage10]

I am a high school teacher. I do not accept friend requests from any former students whether they are in school or graduated. I would love to keep up with some if them, but many have younger siblings and are still linked to students I may possibly teach. This line is not one I feel comfortable crossing.

I am facebook friends with one previous student but only because she is now a teacher at the same school where I work.

[wildfloweragain]

Sept 17, 2014 18:51:01 GMT -5 game blouses said:

It's tricky. I taught high school and there are a select few students I would accept as friends (though I haven't yet). In your student's case, I'd accept her and put her on a very limited visibility.

If I accept her friend request, won't it post on her timeline/to her friends that Girl is now friends with Mrs. Wildflower?

She has about 500 friends.  I have about 50.

[Deleted]

It's all about personal preference and comfort level. I know several teachers that are fb friends with former students. You can adjust your settings so she can only see limited things from you if you don't want her to have full access.

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2014 18:52:51 GMT -5 wildfloweragain said:

Sept 17, 2014 18:51:01 GMT -5 game blouses said:

It's tricky. I taught high school and there are a select few students I would accept as friends (though I haven't yet). In your student's case, I'd accept her and put her on a very limited visibility.

If I accept her friend request, won't it post on her timeline/to her friends that Girl is now friends with Mrs. Wildflower?

She has about 500 friends.  I have about 50.

You can change your settings so that no one can see who you are friends with. 

[rugbywife]

I am friends with former students who are now adults.

[betsyray]

I'm Facebook friends with many former students. I accepted requests after they graduated 8th grade (I taught 5th-8th in some classes). I don't have anything that I'm embarrassed about on my FB, though. I don't use it often.

[missmaddie]

Sept 17, 2014 18:52:51 GMT -5 wildfloweragain said:

Sept 17, 2014 18:51:01 GMT -5 game blouses said:

It's tricky. I taught high school and there are a select few students I would accept as friends (though I haven't yet). In your student's case, I'd accept her and put her on a very limited visibility.

If I accept her friend request, won't it post on her timeline/to her friends that Girl is now friends with Mrs. Wildflower?

She has about 500 friends.  I have about 50.

It might, but it might not given how many friends she has and depending on how active their feeds are. I rarely see new friend updates in my feed. It would be pretty full if it showed each time one of 300 friends accepted a friend. The fewer friends you have the more detail you see about their FB interactions. My mom is always asking if I saw something mutual friends posted, but it rarely makes my (*super super exciting*) news feed.

[ggirl]

My sisters rule is that she won't accept them until they are adults basically (so not attending school in her district). It's not often that students friend request her though. And she has them on limited view.

I'm fb friends with some of my teachers from high school as well.

[RoxMonster]

I teach HS, so I think it's a little different because when they are graduating college/heading to the work force, they are only out of my school for about 3 or 4 years.

I don't know. I personally do not friend any current or former students on FB. Some of my first students that I had would be 24 or 25 years old by now, but I still don't think I'd friend them. I still think of them as a former student and having that teacher/student relationship with them. But I have many colleagues that friend former students and there is no issue, so I think it's partly personal preference.

[dowagercountess]

I add them, and then promptly add them to a list called students, that allows them to see nothing.

[flamingeaux]

Can you make an alternate page? Call it something like Mrs. Wildflower's Class Reunion, or something like that, and use it strictly for former students.

[polarbearfans]

I'm friends with a lot of my former teachers, as are my classmates. It's nice to reconnect.

[joenali]

I'm friends with former students that are now in high school and I'm also friends with their parents.

[stealthmom]

I teach ms. My rule is I won't accept friend requests until they graduate hs.

I don't see why you can't be fb friends or even actual friends with adult former students.

[mrsukyankee]

I accepted them once they graduated and put them in a group that had limited access to my FB. I've moved a couple of them to less limited access because they are now truly adults and they visit with me when they return to London to visit parents.

[wambam]

I am FB friends with two of my HS teachers. Both of which I had a close relationship with and both impacted me in a major way. I think they both pick and choose who they accept.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

I'll accept any of my students who request me, after I'm done teaching them. And I unfriend if they take another class w me. But my students are adults, legally anyway haha, so I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation. 

[irishbride2]

I do not accept student friending until they graduate. I teach 8th grade, but our school goes through 12th.

When I took this job, I was already FB friends with a high schooler (little sister of my best friend). I dropped her from FB and told her why.

[shell403b]

I would not change your stance. I made an exception ONE TIME in 20 years of teaching--he was in my 8th grade Spanish class and is now a weekday anchor on one of the 3 major networks in Richmond. I would make that exception every day of the week and twice on Sunday, but not for any other student ever.