Post by hisno1girl on Sept 17, 2014 22:15:58 GMT -5
of parents? We have this mix:
MOB (me) + DH FOB (no date) MOG (+ her SN DD who must sit w/her) FOG + wife (Groom's stepmom, who hates his biomom and can't stand to be in the same room with her - WTF, I say?)
I hoped the parents could sit together for dinner but I guess that's not happening, so now what do I do? Just put them all at separate tables?
Are you doing seating charts or just reserved tables?
I think just reserved tables. I don't need to say who sits next to who, but only that "this" group of people should sit together. 160 guests. Sweetheart table for B&G. Tables of 8.
On I thought you meant at the ceremony. We did not have seating charts. People sat where they wanted.
Fuck. I didn't even think about the ceremony.
Would it be uncouth of me to tell his stepmom to suck it the fuck up? FFS, I am going tolerate my ex-H for the day, surely she could do the same, right?
The seating chart was my Bridezilla Freakout Moment. My H said, "Forget it! Their messed up relationships aren't your problem!" Made me stop, and took me out to the local bar for drinks instead. He's a wise man!
Give them each own table with their extended family/close friends. It's a big day for your DD and her FI so hopefully people can put aside their stupidity to make one day special for the kids. If MOG and groom's step mom can't sit next to each other in a pee at church and you are the one stuck dealing w it, then put MOG ahead of stepmom or seat them on separate sides of aisle. Nothing requires you to stick to grooms side and brides side at church.
My parents are divorced, DHs are not. My mom, my dad, and his parents each had their own table with their family members/close friends. It worked out very well. The bridal party sat together, spread out over several tables with their dates, and DH and I sat alone.
ETA: My mom sat in the front pew and my dad sat in the second pew. I think. They may have sat together. That wouldn't have bothered them.
Post by flamingeaux on Sept 17, 2014 23:55:12 GMT -5
We had a sit where ever you want for the reception. And DH's mom and stepmom sat in the same pew for the ceremony. They tolerate each other fairly well though.
Unless biomom is nuts, stepmom should suck it up and simply sit on the opposite side of the pew for the ceremony.
For the reception, I think I would have the groom ask if they would prefer to have all share a table or if they would rather sit with other guests.
We placed divorced parents at their own tables with their family/friends. That was the intent, at least.
This is what we did. My mom and date sat with her mom, sister, brother, etc. my dad sat with my stepmom, her kids and their dates. I don't remember where my older brother was. Younger brother was at head table.
Ceremony: mom of bride with grandma in the firs row, dad & date in 2nd. Same on grooms side.
For the reception we tried to mixed tables...so like half bride family/friends and half brides family/friends. My dad and date sat with DHs mom and stepdad. My mom sat with her family and his dad sat at a table with his siblings. It was really what we thought each one would be comfortable with.
Few weddings do the traditional "Parents Table" with just the couple moms, dads and grandparents and maybe the pastor.
For my niece's wedding, which had lots of important people who didn't get along or had major "philosophical differences" we did table assignments. We put people in opposite corners and filled in friends and family between.
Bride's Dad and homophobic paternal grandparents. Dad's a recovering addict and judgemental, so we put the NA and AA types at his table or adjacent in a corner.
Bridal party and their dates were in the middle front of the room.
Groom's mom and her wife had a table with their parents/family and their friends who trend towards LGBT identities at their table away from the homophobic dry drunks in a corner.
Niece's maternal grandparents who raised her for a time when her mom died and her dad was in his many stints in rehab (my parents and my immediate family) sat in a corner away from Bride's dad because we don't care for him. My dad holds him responsible for my sister's death, so in the interest of maintaining order space is good.
Groom's dad sat at a table near me with the few parents of BP members who were invited. He came alone, avoided his ex and took scads of pictures. He's a photographer and videographer by trade. Mostly porn I later learned.
Post by aprilsails on Sept 18, 2014 5:37:50 GMT -5
My parents are divorced and I sat them each at their own table with their respective parents and best friends or siblings.
I think they shared a pew at church. Granted their divorce is amicable and they worked together for 13 years afterwards and my Dad and Stepdad still work together.
DH's parent are divorced. We did assigned seating and DH's dad had one table, his mom had another table, my parents had a third table. We sprinkled the bridal party in at Dad and Mom's tables since they weren't full. It all worked out nicely.
For the service, his mother sat in the front row, his father and stepmother in the row behind.
Post by cuddlyevil on Sept 18, 2014 7:43:47 GMT -5
At our ceremony, we had my parents & his mom + stepdad in the frontrow with his dad & stepmom in the second row.
They all sat at the same table at the reception. My parents sat in between them, they all behaved nicely. But it was the first time FIL & SFIL had been in the same room since the bar fight between FIL & SFIL 20-ish years before.
If they can't play nice, sit them at different tables.
Post by Booze Raccoon on Sept 18, 2014 7:46:00 GMT -5
My SIL has 2 sets of parents. The parents sat with their side of the family. So her Mother sat with her husband and the sister of the bride, and her side of the family. Her father sat with his wife and his side of the family.
We split our parents up this way as well and we each only have the one set.
Post by lightbulbsun on Sept 18, 2014 7:58:53 GMT -5
My mom made my seating chart, but I know we didn't have a parent's table. My mom sat with her GF, her parents, and some other family members, my dad sat with his GF and his siblings, and H's parents sat with their parents.
ETA: I think it was best this way, because a lot of our family was from OOT, so my dad got to spend time with his siblings, and H's parents got to see their parents, who all live far away.
Post by cuddlyevil on Sept 18, 2014 8:17:20 GMT -5
The biggest issue all of the parents had was my parents side eyeing FIL & SMIL for being very vocal about "We won't toast you with champagne..we'll toast you with sprite". My parents were all "who the hell cares what you drink? Just toast them!".
At reception they each get their own table with their relatives or with people they know.
At The Ceremoney they need to suck it up and just sit and be quiet ( there is no need for conversation) and if they cant do that, they shouldn't be there. It isn't about THEM.
We didn't have seating charts for the reception, or even reserved tables. DH's parents are married, so the ceremony was nbd for his side. On my side, MOB and SD were in the first row, mom on the aisle seat. FOB and SM were in the second row, dad on the aisle seat.