My MIL is so fucking weird.

[kateausten]

She is the most inappropriate person I know.  She has said some zingers but this recent one left me shaking my head.

DH and I have concert tix to take our girls to One Direction.  We were talking about our upcoming concert at a dinner out for my SS's birthday.  MIL was talking to the girls about who their favorite singer was, the cutest, blah blah.  She then makes some comment about throwing their panties up on stage.  The girls are 15 and 13.

I look over at my DD who is the 15yo and we were both like this   

Gross.  I'll never forget the time she came over after breaking up with her boyfriend and told a story about how the sex with him wasn't very good.  Something about 3 pumps.  Gahhhhh!!!! 

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT MIL!!!!

Please tell me I'm not the only one that has a MIL like this???

[Pom]

Inappropriate. It sounds like she is missing a filter.


:::hands you a membership card::: welcome to the support group for ridiculous and difficult relatives.

[kateausten]

Yup. Absolutely no filter.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Sept 18, 2014 4:25:48 GMT -5 milsaroo said:

lkasjflsakjflsakjfljka ... EW.

When FIL was engaged, and cheating on his fiance, his fiance called ME (WHY DOESN'T SHE HAVE HER OWN FRIENDS?) and said it was probably because she wouldn't have sex with him until they were married. They were both very, very large people and it was NOT something I wanted to think about.

Oh, but if they had been super fit and good-looking you would have been cool with thinking about your FIL and his fiancee fucking?

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Sept 18, 2014 7:11:49 GMT -5 milsaroo said:

Sept 18, 2014 7:02:31 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

Oh, but if they had been super fit and good-looking you would have been cool with thinking about your FIL and his fiancee fucking?

No, probably not, but that's probably because my FIL is a dbag on many other levels. Sorry I had to throw that in there.

You're a dbag too, btw. Fat people fuck. Sorry that's so offensive to you.

And I would hope that no matter what your FIL is like, you don't really want to think about him fucking anyway. Fat dbag or not.

[4speedy]

When we had been married for about 2 1/2 years or so, MIL casually asked me if my DH's "performance" had improved since we had been married. It took me an awkward amount of time to figure out what she meant by "performance." It honestly never occurred to me that she could possibly be asking if her son was getting better at fucking. I think that she thought DH was a virgin when I married him. He was 34.

Once I had the "oh, she's talking about THAT!" moment, I told her the only time I would ever answer that question is if DH were the person doing the asking.

[stretchad]

I could see my MIL doing this. Once, when my mom was visiting she asked my mom (who sleeps in a different room from my Stepdad because of snoring) "BUT WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT SEX???"

OMG.

Another time, she asked me if DH was well endowed. Another time, the first time she met my sister's boyfriend, she farted on him. 

Seriously. This woman has a phd!

[kateausten]

Ugh 4speedy. That reminds me. MIL once asked a girlfriend of DH's how he was in bed.

What the ever loving fuck lady??!!?!

[Deleted]

This board often reminds me why I am so grateful for my MIL. Note to self: Write MIL a thank you note for not being crazy or inappropriate.

[RandZB]

Backstory: MIL and FIL had a very bad divorce over 20 years ago, and to my knowledge she has never dated or entertained male company after that. At SIL's bridal shower, my mother walked over to me with a horrified look on her face. I asked her what was wrong, and what she told me scarred me for life. She said that MIL was talking about her bosses saying stuff about sex in the office (two old men attorneys, she was their admin). She said, "I told them they had to stop talking about that stuff, it made my cooter wink." My mom said that she repeated the phrase several times. This was a bridal shower filled with SIL's family and her friends who were all around 20 years old. Not that there is ever a good time to say that, but certainly not there.

[emilyinchile]

Sept 18, 2014 4:25:48 GMT -5 milsaroo said:

lkasjflsakjflsakjfljka ... EW.

When FIL was engaged, and cheating on his fiance, his fiance called ME (WHY DOESN'T SHE HAVE HER OWN FRIENDS?) and said it was probably because she wouldn't have sex with him until they were married. They were both very, very large people and it was NOT something I wanted to think about.

Dude. No. I am judging both your original thought and the thought process that led you to think posting this was a good idea.

No awful MIL stories from me - and yes, I'm very appreciative of that fact.