Aw! He's so cute. I am kind of cracking up at "biting points." Ella would have earned like 321086476 this week if I were counting. I have a mark on my forehead from where she gleefully chomped down.
Is he teething? At Lu's old daycare some kids bit a lot when they were teething and it helped for them to have something to chew on (like a Sophie toy).
I don't think he's teething; if he is, they're molars, not front teeth. He has most of his front teeth.
If he gets 25 points they'll kick him out of school. I'm panicking.
I am freaking out too because my precious darling has started biting the shit out of DH and I when he is pissed. This morning he left a deep mark on DH. I thought I had time before it started. So far nothing I know of at school.
Anyways, he is still pretty young right? I am wondering what the teachers are doing that he was able to bite five times in a week. I mean I get that they can't hover over him but what do they do to prevent it from happening. Does it happen at certain times of the day, is he in a class where he is the oldest/youngest and isn't coping well, does he need other ways to express frustration, etc? This isn't their first time dealing with a biter but I would push to make sure they are setting him up for success.
Post by balletofangels on Sept 18, 2014 15:20:39 GMT -5
My mom is a daycare teacher and she always says the first thing parents need to ask is what are the teachers doing to redirect the child. They know he is a biter and hopefully it is just a phase, but they should be on top of him and preventing it from happening. Yes, there are other children in the classroom, but they need to have a plan of action.
She has also had luck with biting necklaces. Rubber tubing that the kids chomp on instead of other people. They also use stories, etc., but I think he may be too little for all that.
I am freaking out too because my precious darling has started biting the shit out of DH and I when he is pissed. This morning he left a deep mark on DH. I thought I had time before it started. So far nothing I know of at school.
Anyways, he is still pretty young right? I am wondering what the teachers are doing that he was able to bite five times in a week. I mean I get that they can't hover over him but what do they do to prevent it from happening. Does it happen at certain times of the day, is he in a class where he is the oldest/youngest and isn't coping well, does he need other ways to express frustration, etc? This isn't their first time dealing with a biter but I would push to make sure they are setting him up for success.
I know that it's the same scenario every time -- it's out of frustration, usually when he wants a toy someone else has, or someone else tries to take a toy he has. I have no idea why they're unable to separate them children enough to deal with it, except that I strongly suspect that Jack is not the only one who is biting -- i.e., they're having trouble intervening in all the interactions.
I plan to bring up with the director what steps are being taken, and honestly, to let her know that while I am willing to do whatever they recommend, I am unable to intervene in biting episodes that simply are not happening at my house.
I am the opposite of the parent that thinks their preshus angel is perfect but I feel like the bite points and stuff suck for kids under a certain age. Discipline and consequences don't really work before they can get it. They need to redirect him and then redirect him some more.
Funny biting story, my child has been bitten twice at daycare and I don't really care but DH and I have speculated on who is biting. We were pretty sure it was one girl who seems to be a handful and is only in the room in the late afternoon when they move together a wider age range of kids. Last Friday I was picking up DS and I put him down to get his stuff together. He was fussing because he gets dramatic about getting put down. I was talking to his teacher and all of the sudden DS starts screeching. We both turn and the girl DH and I thought was the biter was latched onto DS's toe. The teacher grabs the girl and moves her across the room, tells her she can't bite, etc. I grab DS and I am consoling him. Teacher goes to grab an incident report and out of no where the biter is back across the room biting another little girl. I was all how the fuck did she get here so fast as was the teacher. The little girl then had to go sit with the director. I am pretty sure her mom got an earful at pick up. DS was okay. I got in the car and called DH to tell him about how we were right about who was biting.
ETA I care that ds is getting bit but daycare has handled it okay and there haven't been marks or anything. I realized after I typed all of that it seemed like I was all, "la ti da everyone can bite my kid..."
Post by revolution on Sept 18, 2014 15:33:35 GMT -5
He will be fine! My oldest was the biter. And she is now the sweetest kid ever, she was then too, except she would bit to express whatever it was she wanted to. We had a few month stretch where she bit about weekly. It pretty much sucked. I felt like an asshole.
Post by spellingbea on Sept 18, 2014 15:40:35 GMT -5
The points thing is bullshit. I may just be defensive because my kid is an occasional biter/pusher/hair puller. She likes to mix it up. If my daycare had a points system, I'd be a SAHM as of about 6 months ago, lol.
Do the points drop off after a certain amount of time?
At our daycare, they have biting tubes. It's little plastic tube attached to a necklace that they can bite instead of their friends. Does your daycare have anything like that?
Sorry about your biter. He's an adorable one though.
He's cute, but he certainly doesn't look very remorseful!
I don't have any advice. It's just like when my daycare used to ride our asses because N wouldn't sleep there. She slept fine at home. I did what I could, but honestly it was their problem to solve. I told them that as nicely as possible and it worked itself out.
She has also had luck with biting necklaces. Rubber tubing that the kids chomp on instead of other people. They also use stories, etc., but I think he may be too little for all that.
Yep. This worked (for the most part) with DS. It greatly reduced it.
I have sympathy for you. R got kicked out of 2 daycares for biting. There wasn't a written points system but they didn't know what to do. One he went to 4 days. He never bit at home, only at school. We tried moving him up a class so he was the smallest kid. It didn't matter. He would bite kids that took his friends toys away after they were too scared to take his. I hated how bad I felt.
He did grow out of it though. But is was hard because we couldn't do anything hours later when we saw him again. He is a super sweet 5 year old now. A bit rambunctious bit he doesn't bite or seem to be a sociopath.
Not sure how your center works with rooms, but is he at the end of his time in the infant room or is he about to move up into the early toddler room?
This is a good point. DD's teachers have told me that it's normal for some kids to start stuff like this when they're bored and are ready to advance to the next room. So really, it's a biting twy sentwa.
Post by nonsensetomfoolery on Sept 18, 2014 16:35:21 GMT -5
Who in the world had time to keep up with a bite points and what to score a bite and when they drop off for multiple children? Maybe less tracking biting and more supervision? (I work with infants and toddlers so I can judge)
Biting is hard and there really is nothing you can do about it when he isn't doing it at home. It really depends on their response at the time- any huge reactions and it's just going to keep on happening. Redirection, supervision, crossing fingers is pretty much all they can do-
If it helps, my good friend's son was called Jaws by the teachers in his older infants class.... He is a perfectly nice, (relatively) socially appropriate 4 year old now.
C got bit a few times, then turned into an overexcited biter. Too happy and a bit overtired? Chomp. He still almost tries to do it in wrestling DH at age 4 but can stop himself now. It was never a conference with the director, but frustrating all the same. I would just ask what their strategy is, since you really can't address/discipline it hours later. And outside of encouraging gentle touch and handling anger without hurting when you are with him,it is just hard to do much but wait it out.
Post by speckledfrog on Sept 18, 2014 17:02:04 GMT -5
Biting points? That's a new one. I am laughing while simultaneously clutching my pearls.
There is only so much you can do at home, particularly since he isn't biting anyone at home. I would put the onus on them. How are they going to help you? How have they handled this in the past? Can they put a floater in the room until the rate of biting decreases? I hate that centers kick out toddlers for biting instead of working with them.
We are in the same boat. Our day care has been great about working with DS(17m) to try to stop the behavior. They always comfort the biter first and then reprimanding DS. They will also separate DS from the group after a bite. DS was just put on a remediation plan and if worse comes to worse, can be removed from the center as well.
Along with the steps daycare is taking, I am providing lots of different teethers, some suggested by an early interventionist. DS is a thumb sucker so I also sent a stuffed animal in for him to cuddle with and suck his thumb. We provide frozen fruit for daycare to give in a mesh feeder too (their suggestion).
Post by juliagoulia on Sept 18, 2014 18:45:12 GMT -5
Oh man, he is REALLY cute.
No advice though, sorry my kid was always the one on the receiving end of the bites. But he throws elbows and pushes like its his damn job. We read Hands are not for Hitting a lot.