I'm really sorry Monterey. I hope that once he has a bit more time to process that you can have this baby the way that you had hoped. You have a ton of support here. {{{hugs}}}
I think you need to focus on you now. Waking you up and sending you home comes off a little rude to me. And screw him for nit picking how fast you told him. Obviously, this is a bombshell and you needed a minute to say something. It hardly merits criticism that you took an extra DAY or two to talk about it.
Honestly, I'd keep my distance for a while. Let him come to you. You have to be precious to yourself right now, and that doesn't include him. Clearly.
I'm sorry he's being a jerk. His attitude really pisses me off. My sister and I were conceived despite my parents using two forms of birth control. It happens. He's a big boy. He understood the risk he was taking when he had sex with you. No birth control is 100%.
He woke you up and sent you home? In the middle of the night? The fuck? You deserve better than that.
It's time to focus on you. Whatever conclusion he comes to doesn't matter at this point. Take care of yourself and remember that there are a ton of people who care about you.
I'm so sorry MB. It's okay for him to be angry and confused but it's not okay for him to ba en ass to you. Just focus on you and that precious little baby and hopefully once he's had time to process he will go back to being that sweet guy. (hug2)
Post by hisno1girl on Sept 20, 2014 6:05:19 GMT -5
maybe he is angry at himself and taking it out on you?
You know we always lash out at the ones closest to us.
Either way, he seems to need/want space and time so give it to him, as difficult as that may be.
Anyone (man or woman) who has recently heard life-changing news is going to have ups and downs in their emotions while trying to process everything.
He shouldnt be be acting like a jerk about it, but things like that happen. Hopefully he'll work through this quickly and go back to being the man you love
We're here for you MB. Let us be your sounding board whenever you want to talk, complain, vent, cry, or celebrate during the next nine months. You are going to be an incredible mother and that little baby of yours is lucky you get to be his/her mom.
Post by venice2007 on Sept 20, 2014 6:09:18 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are dealing with that with everything going on. Hopefully he will calm down and you can talk. Give him space and take care of you! Huge hugs!!!
A quick story- Ollie was 100% not planned, he was the result of some booze and forgetting to pull out. When we found out we were pregnant I flipped the fuck out and had a panic attack and H was the strong one- all "we can do this, it'll be fine"
Then once I calmed down and started to get excited about it, it's like he took that as his cue to have his freak out. He shut down and acted mad all the time, said he wasn't excited, didn't want to tell people, etc. I gave him time, but after about a week I have him a come to Jesus talk and he at least started to act better, even if he was still freaking out internally. Then at 12 weeks we had our ultrasound and that was it- he was in love. And has been great and supportive ever since.
Now I know it's different situations, but he really might just need time. He absolutely shouldn't be treating you like that, and it's completely ok for you to tell him that. Let him know how you feel, but give him some space, too. I hope everything works out.
Oh hugs to you. Please don't let him ruin your excitement over this. Hopeful he'll come around soon, there's a lot to process but that doesn't give an excuse to be mean to you.
I don't post much, but I went through something similar. I hope he comes around and everything goes the way you would like.
When I was 22 I moved to the otherside of the country and ended up breaking up with my long term bf of 5 years shortly after. I met a guy shortly after breaking up with bf and things were more of a casual fwb type deal. In September of that year (3 months post break up) fwb guy and I start dating and in Nov I found out I was pregnant.
He was great. He was also a few years older than I was. I was terrified. I wouldn't tell people for awhile, I was ashamed/shocked/confused about the whole thing. My family reacted well, his family told me they expected a DNA test and they bet I went out of my way to get pregnant and that I was a whore (sidenote: I had neber met these people and lived 2000 mioes away).
It took a few weeks for me to feel ok with everything. She is now 3.5, we got married, had another baby and everything is fine. I do not like to tell people the timeline of relationship because I still get judged about it.
Post by lovelovelove on Sept 20, 2014 7:06:35 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. I agree with everyone saying take some time for yourself. Feel how you need to and do some things for yourself. Unfortunately there is no instruction book for how a situation like this unfolds, so try to take some time to take care of you and do some things you enjoy
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Sept 20, 2014 7:19:31 GMT -5
Oh, MB, I am so sorry. Hopefully he's just adjusting and trying to figure things out. I'm pretty pissed that he woke you up in the middle of the night and sent you home. That's rude.
Regardless, you're going to be ok and everything will be fine. Hugs!
Post by themoneytree on Sept 20, 2014 7:24:42 GMT -5
He needs to be told that his behavior last night was unacceptable. Because it was. I'm so sorry. I hope he comes around, but you need to step away for a bit. Leave it a couple of days at least and see what happens. If he comes to you it needs to be with an apology.
I'm really sorry he's being suck a dick. It sounds to me like someone has got it in his head that you trapped him on purpose. I hope he gets his head out of his ass soon, but in the meantime, you worry about you. If you have morning sickness (I did, bad) it's all you can do to get through the day. You don't need to worry about this too.
(((Hugs)))). I agree with those that say to be cautious but I also think his anger is within the range of normal reactions. He was given literally life changing news less than a week ago and it's taking him some time to adjust.
I would take a step back so you aren't the victim of his anger.
Post by Captain Serious on Sept 20, 2014 8:26:16 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are going through this. I would try to not be too upset just yet, though, as I think this is part of a cycle for him.
I didn't want to upset you the other day when you posted about his perfect response when you first told him, but in my experience, this delayed reaction is not uncommon. At first, he told you what he thought you'd want to hear and what he thought would help him play the part of the good guy. Now that reality is setting in, he's having his freak-out moment, realizing that this is a life-changing event, and trying to find out what that will mean for him, going forward, and how that will impact his relationship with you.
While it was silly of him to be upset you didn't tell him right away, he's probably thinking it gave you an unfair advantage to think things through alone. You were able to freak out without having someone worry about what that means for them, and he probably resents not having that same freedom.
The fact that he's not speaking now might not be a bad thing. Not talking means he won't say something he might later regret. I'd just make sure that he is willing to discuss things with you in a few days, after he's had a chance to sort things out for himself a little bit.
I'm sorry for all the uncertainty that you are living with right now, and hope that it will sort itself all out soon. Best of luck, no matter how it all shakes out.
He's not angry with you; he's scared and frustrated by the situation. That said, you do not deserve that treatment and I'm sorry he was such a jerk to you.
You've received a lot of good advice here; I hope it helps.