Hey ML, make important life decisions for me!

[meganew]

H's new job working from home is going great, but holy shit do we need to move. He needs and office and we just need more space in general. Problem is that we can't decide where to go. Our options are moving to a suburb of philly or back to our hometown about 90 minutes from here. I will now discuss the pros and cons so you can make this choice for us.

Suburb of philly- we would still be close enough that we could come in on weekends. We love the city and really do take advantage of all the stuff there is to do- museums, parks, festivals, farmers markets, etc. We have a bunch of friends in the city. The schools are great. If H decides this job isn't for him we'd still be close enough to commute into the city if needed. However, we couldn't afford much of a house because the taxes are insane! And I worry that even being within close proximity to the city we still won't get in as often because the kids will get older and have their own friends and activities. And our friends might move away or stay in center city, which would mean we could still see them, but not often, leaving us stranded in the suburbs not knowing anyone.

Hometown area- We'd be super close to both our families (babysitters) and we have a bunch of friends there who are having kids, too. We could afford an awesome house. The area is getting better in terms of things to do. If H decides this job isn't for him, he could freelance or go back and teach at our college (they love him). If we move back to where I grew up our kids could ride their bikes to the parks and pool and I wouldn't have to worry at all. Plus, I'm related to half the town and it's super small, so everyone knows everyone, which means you can't get away with shit- hated it when I was younger, but now it's kind of a selling feature! Cons- the schools aren't as great, and unless we bought in one specific school district I think I'd wind up sending them to private. Plus we'll be so far away from the city, and I really like the city : (

I'm so torn. What would you do? Parents of older kids, what winds up being most important?

[rupertpenny]

I think I would pick suburbs. Small town life is not appealing to me.

Can you rent at first so you don't have to make a long term decision just yet?

[hisno1girl]

I would pick the hometown area. You have friends and family close by, schools are good, safety makes you comfortable. 90 minutes to the city isn't that far, really.

[snipsnsnails]

I'd go where you'll have the most family support. As I'm getting older and my kids are getting older, I find myself more and more jealous of the people who have family nearby to babysit and spend time with their kids.

Also, it's hard to make the effort to get into the city when you live on the outskirts. It becomes easier to stay put. I have to make a concerted effort to get myself into NYC with kids.

[notoriousmeg]

I agree with Rupert. Is renting for a year an option?

[demelza]

Hometown. I would choose that based on your details.

[lovelovelove]

If you're thinking you may not make it into the city as much anymore anyway I might lean toward hometown. It sounds a little adventurous to me which is appealing haha! Plus having babysitters would be amazing- then you and your H could go to the city sans kiddos!

[Booze Raccoon]

DH and I made had the same choice 3 years ago. We chose hometown and I do not regret it at all.

[compassrose]

Sept 20, 2014 7:11:40 GMT -5 lovelovelove said:

If you're thinking you may not make it into the city as much anymore anyway I might lean toward hometown. It sounds a little adventurous to me which is appealing haha! Plus having babysitters would be amazing- then you and your H could go to the city sans kiddos!

This, exactly.  I thought I would hate moving home, and I think I would have 10 years ago.  But now?  Being close to my family (with whom I am very close) and having a support network for having a baby is priceless. 

[arielroux]

Hi, first post here, but I live in the Philly burbs so I'm jumping in.

I guess part of my decision would take into account which suburbs you're looking at. I grew up in Delco, and I loved it. But today, there are only a couple areas there that I'd like to live. And even then, the traffic and taxes are ridiculous.

H and I chose to move farther out into Chesco because the taxes were lower, the schools were better (even though we don't have kids, and if we did, I'd prob go private since that's what I did growing up), and you could get so much more house for the money. We love where we live...it's family friendly, and there's a great "Main Street" atmosphere just about 5 min away with a bunch of bars/restaurants. Admittedly, we don't get into the city that often, but it's still under an hour to do so.

I know your friends are in the city, but I don't think you can place too much weight on that. You never know where their lives could take them in the next few years. You do do, and all that.

The older I get, the more I enjoy being away from the city life. Personally, I like space. I like having a big yard. And I'm ok with not being in the center of the action. I know that's not for everyone though. It's tough...I guess you need to figure out where you can compromise and what's non-negotiable. This answer may not have been helpful, I'm sorry! But good luck with whatever you choose! The hometown option sounds pretty appealing to me.

[saywhatnow]

I'd go with your hometown. We live in the same neighborhood as my in-laws and are 30 minutes from my parents. Having 4 grandparents so close has been such a blessing with kids. The kids spend at least one night a week a grandparents house and they are available if we need some help with daycare pick-ups, etc. Good luck!

[Deleted]

Hometown. Support will change your life

We have about 8 babysitters we can call anytime - no charge and they are more than happy to take our kids and love on them.

It's the reason we still live in our hometown.

Plus it's nice to see family regularly.

[meganew]

I never even considered the possibility of leaving the kids with family and having a night in the city to ourselves.

That may have just swayed me, lol.

[meganew]

Also, the possibility of someday putting in a pool is 10x more likely in our hometown. This is seriously something to consider. Haha

[arielroux]

Sept 20, 2014 7:35:08 GMT -5 meganew said:

Also, the possibility of someday putting in a pool is 10x more likely in our hometown. This is seriously something to consider. Haha

This is actually part of the reason we moved to an area where we could have a large yard. The pool factor is very important (to me, anyway)!

[meganew]

Or I could say "to hell with it all!" and we could move to San Diego where I have family. And SIL lives in la now.

J/k. We could afford a shoebox in CA.

[papie]

Suburbs hands down

[RoxMonster]

Hmm it's hard for me to answer. I keep thinking of *my* hometown, and I definitely would never want to move back there (I'd love to be close to our families but the town sucks lol). However it sounds like your hometown is much better.

I think if I had kids, I would pick hometown, so that they could grow up near family, we'd have reliable baby-sitters all the time, they could bike the park, etc. Not having kids right now, I would probably pick the 'burbs so we could be close to the city and go in every weekend.

[tulip]

Hometown. Having family support is the one thing I miss the most and the main reason I want to move back.

[jlt19]

I'd choose hometown. We moved far away from friends and family for cheaper housing and better schools, and we've felt isolated ever since. It's getting better because we're making friends with the kids' friends' parents though.

[Muddled]

I would go burbs, but it really sounds like you are leaning towards hometown- or maybe trying to talk yourself into it?

[meganew]

Sept 20, 2014 8:25:47 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

How far are the suburbs from hometown? If that's a 30 minute drive or so, I'd imagine you'd get all of the support with more access to the city.

Hometown and suburbs are also about 90 minutes apart.

I will say that it's not like there's nothing to do in my hometown. There's a bunch if stuff coming in and they just renovated a huge, out if commission steel mill and turned it into a really cool arts center with concerts and farmers markets, etc. That wouldn't be the town we'd live in, but it would be very close by.

And now anyone from this area knows where I'm from. Lol.

[jinkies]

Ok, now that I know (generally) where your hometown is, I vote hometown. It's really nice up there!

Also, as others have said, having family babysitters close by will change your life!

[arielroux]

Ahhhh, ok. My SIL and BIL live in that area, and they love it! I totally vote hometown now.

[fezzik]

Hometown 100%. Family support and the affordability would make my decision.

[shananagins]

Hometown for sure. I don't love where we live, but having so much family around is so worth it. My ILs keep the girls overnight once a month or so. It's awesome.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Hometown. I hate the suburbs though haha.

[betsyray]

Hometown. I live in the suburbs of DC and haven't been in in years. There's tons to do where I am, and while I still miss city life sometimes, I prefer avoiding the traffic and enjoying where I am. I would love to have family nearby that would babysit! I'd even move out to the small town where my mil lives if she didn't work.

[eddy]

Hometown

Parenting with help makes such a difference. We also live close to family and it makes me so so so happy.

[alicenelson]

Casting my vote on hometown.