I was making some vegetable dip and DH got all upset because "You know the baby eats what you eat and don't complain that you are fat and not losing the baby weight" RAGE. I am now stuffing my face with the dip while bf.
I mean he is more than welcome to start getting up in the middle of the night and give the baby "evil formula"( his words because of course breast is best he won't even consider me pumping for him to give the milk) which I told him. DH's winning streak as Husband of the year continues. NOT
Post by thejen626 on Sept 21, 2014 15:21:08 GMT -5
It's been established that your DH is a raging asshole. Why do you tolerate him treating you this way? I'm going to repeat what I told you last time you posted about him. You need a therapist, stat.
Are you going to let him talk to your kids like this?
I know my marriage isn't a model of healthy... but THIS is over the top abusive behavior. If you can afford to leave or have a safe place to go, get your kid and leave. Seriously.
Post by badgergrl on Sept 21, 2014 15:52:27 GMT -5
I don't know the back story, but no one deserve to be spoken to that way by anyone, especially by a loved one. You don't deserve that.
I am very pro bfing, but at my house that means dh picks up other children chores (like diaper changing' etc) and in the early days got up at night with me.
I'm sorry. I shared my story of emotional abuse with my ex on another board. I went through similar things. Even though I knew my ex was wrong, it still took time to process and leave.
It sounds like you'd benefit from a neutral 3rd party counselor to help you sort through everything you're going through. Even if you have to bring your child to the appointments, it'd be better than nothing.
OP, people treat you how you let them treat you. Stand up for yourself.
For all the rest of you...her DH is an asshole.. He's controlling, manipulative, and I suspect he's also abusive by the way she cowers to him.
I think it's pretty shitty to line up evidence for others. She is here for support, not to be gossiped about.
I don't know why thejen has it out for the OP. The last time she said the OP must be MUD because "omg people don't live like this." The judgment is sad especially when someone needs support.
OP, people treat you how you let them treat you. Stand up for yourself.
For all the rest of you...her DH is an asshole.. He's controlling, manipulative, and I suspect he's also abusive by the way she cowers to him.
I think it's pretty shitty to line up evidence for others. She is here for support, not to be gossiped about.
How is this gossip? Plenty of people replied that they didn't know about her DH. She's on here 3 times in the last month talking about what an asshole her DH is. I didn't put any information out there that she didn't post herself.
I've been in abusive relationships. No one told me that I deserved more, or that I didn't have to put up with being treated like shit.
I think it's pretty shitty to line up evidence for others. She is here for support, not to be gossiped about.
I don't know why thejen has it out for the OP. The last time she said the OP must be MUD because "omg people don't live like this." The judgment is sad especially when someone needs support.
I don't have anything against her. My responses to her have been "get a therapist" and "don't let him treat you like this".
OP, people treat you how you let them treat you. Stand up for yourself.
For all the rest of you...her DH is an asshole.. He's controlling, manipulative, and I suspect he's also abusive by the way she cowers to him.
I think it's pretty shitty to line up evidence for others. She is here for support, not to be gossiped about.
I don't know her motivation, but I think cluing other in who may not know her backstory is helpful. Looking at the drama thread while thinking that OP may be in an abusive relationship certainly puts it in a much different light than thinking this is just run of the mill asshattery.
I don't know why thejen has it out for the OP. The last time she said the OP must be MUD because "omg people don't live like this." The judgment is sad especially when someone needs support.
I don't have anything against her. My responses to her have been "get a therapist" and "don't let him treat you like this".
Oh ok. I just distinctly remember you saying you thought it must be MUD and "do people really live like this." Which is especially odd to say if you've been in an abusive relationship, that yes women do unfortunately live like that and stay with men who are unkind/abusive until they are ready to leave.
I feel like I'm the official poster of 800 numbers, but I know people don't always have the ability to make it to a counseler. The National Domestic ViolencenHotline is 1-800-799-7233. If you have access to a computer that he doesn't monitor you may want to look at this website. www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/
I'm on a Kindle, can someone else cut and paste this list so she doesn't have to click over?
Post by bronxgirl on Sept 21, 2014 16:20:59 GMT -5
I know this is (significantly) easier said than done, but stop tolerating his abuse. It won't get better on its own and he's not going to stop out of the blue. Please take care of yourself. A therapist can help you sort through your feelings and give you some perspective. If nothing else, do it for your child's sake. Do you have friends/family who are supportive and you can talk to about the situation? if nothing else you have us. Hugs to you.
I don't have anything against her. My responses to her have been "get a therapist" and "don't let him treat you like this".
Oh ok. I just distinctly remember you saying you thought it must be MUD and "do people really live like this." Which is especially odd to say if you've been in an abusive relationship, that yes women do unfortunately live like that and stay with men who are unkind/abusive until they are ready to leave.
Yes, I said that I thought she was making up drama because some of her stories are ridiculous. Quite frankly, I hope this is all fake, because I feel very sorry for her if it's true. It's terrible.
I hope that she can realize that she and her kids deserve more. A good husband and father doesn't treat people like this, this isn't what love looks like. I'm assuming she feels like she is trapped, and that's why I keep suggesting that she talk to a therapist, it would be good for her to hear her options and start making a plan to leave him.
Your H is an asshole. You know the things you post about him will make everyone think that, which means you can't possibly love and be happy with this guy (otherwise, why do your best to make sure everyone knows he thoroughly sucks?).
So why post this stuff? I am hoping it is because you are working up the courage to leave and posting on here and hearing a chorus of "he is awful!" is part of the process that is getting you there by helping you to realize how truly out of line he is and that you have done nothing to deserve it. If that is the case, please let us know what we can do to support you and help you get out. I am certain this board would be there for you if you chose to leave.
I think it's pretty shitty to line up evidence for others. She is here for support, not to be gossiped about.
I don't know her motivation, but I think cluing other in who may not know her backstory is helpful. Looking at the drama thread while thinking that OP may be in an abusive relationship certainly puts it in a much different light than thinking this is just run of the mill asshattery.
I agree. I not usually running off to defend justjen but in this case I don't think she's so out of line. People asked for a backstory to form an opinion and she found it. It happens every day on here and in instances like this for good reason. It's important to know that he's a genuine jerk who is an abusive a$$ rather than just a bad day one-off situation.