WWYD re: Shower

[bluelikejazz]

So my "friends and family" shower is this weekend.  I had a friend that told me a couple of weeks ago she wouldn't know her work schedule until this week.

I texted her yesterday to ask if she was able to come.  She responded with "I'm off, but my husband is working, so I'll have to bring the kids!"  (She has a 3 YO and a 9 month old)

Um, 1) I'm not hosting the shower, so it's not really up to me.  and 2) The only child at the shower is going to be my SIL's 9 week old. 

How do respond? 

[zarapipe]

I would ignore. Your shower should be stress free to you. Is it going to ruin your day if they come? If it would I would say something, but if you don't care I wouldn't worry about it. And it is your shower, so it should be up to you regardless if you are hosting it or not.

Were kids not invited? Was that explicit on the invite?

[linz]

I dont see it as a big deal. We didnt list kids on my shower invites but a few still brought them. I didnt mind and neither did the hosts.

[flamingeaux]

Is it at someone's home? If it is, I would let the host know so they have time to move anything that they would be worried about around the 3 year old. Otherwise, I don't see why it would be a problem, I second the idea about coloring books. We did that for our reception, and it worked out great.

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[Poppy]

A coloring book wouldn't do it for my BFF's 3yo, but she's been along to showers and it hasn't been a big deal. Kids at baby showers is the norm in my circle.

That said, it's really up to you and the host whether this is acceptable and I think you're within your rights to say sorry but that's not going to work out.

Sorry, this is a tough spot to be in!

[Deleted]

Kids aren't mentioned on my shower invites either, but I'm expecting a handful of babies & toddlers. It's the norm for baby showers I've attended in the past. Just give the host a head's up, and don't stress it!

[demandypants]

I too would just let the host know to expect them.

[rachelgreen]

Give the host a heads up but other than that, I wouldn't dwell on it. I think it's a little different when it's a wedding and someone adds RSVPs for their kids when it's adults only. A shower (one gear towards...a kid coming) wouldn't phase me. My invites didn't specify kids invited or not but I'm assuming I will have some tagging along with their moms.

[bluelikejazz]

Thanks ladies! When I asked my mom about it, she freaked. "Tell her she can't bring kids. That's not ok!" - so I was in turn also stressing. Hence, this post

I emailed the host and let her know. Done and Done!

[pennylane]

Moms are great at adding stress! Glad it's taken care of.

[busterpup]

Sept 22, 2014 14:01:10 GMT -5 bluelikejazz said:

Thanks ladies! When I asked my mom about it, she freaked. "Tell her she can't bring kids. That's not ok!" - so I was in turn also stressing. Hence, this post

I emailed the host and let her know. Done and Done!

This is so funny to me for a baby shower.  I could see how a wedding shower would be adult-themed, but I've never heard of a baby shower not being kid-friendly.  I just assumed my friends would bring their kids to mine.  

[bluelikejazz]

Sept 22, 2014 15:37:12 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Sept 22, 2014 14:01:10 GMT -5 bluelikejazz said:

Thanks ladies! When I asked my mom about it, she freaked. "Tell her she can't bring kids. That's not ok!" - so I was in turn also stressing. Hence, this post

I emailed the host and let her know. Done and Done!

Then your SIL shouldn't be bringing her kid. 

It's pretty crappy (on your Mom's part) to say one person can but your friend, who you wanted to be there, can't.

My mom is full of one-sided opinions.  But you're right, it's very crappy.

[Deleted]

People brought 4 kids to the shower I hosted earlier this year. None were actually invited. Of course none of those people RSVPed at all either.

I just shrugged and we had a nice time. My house is in no way baby proofed, but everyone lived.

[miss.colorado]

I totally understand.  I've requested to my mom and aunt that no kids be present except my 7 yo step daughter (she's unsure she wants to go!).  The kids in my family range in age from 1 year to 7 and are pretty wild.  Flameful perhaps, but I don't want to have to tend to screaming and wild kids running around, ripping gifts apart and dragging snacks all over the house.  My SD is an exception...she's pretty amazing and well mannered and I want to make her feel excited about her little baby bro.  Can't my gal pals and co-workers just have a morning of peace?