3 is going to be the death of me

[jamer]

I'm sorry. I'm approaching 3 very quickly and scared. The meltdowns over nothing are exhausting. The not listening drives me insane

[karinothing]

3 year olds are jerks. I raise my glass in sympathy.

[redpenmama]

It sucks. My DD at least phases in and out of the total insanity -- we have a month of misery and then she is delightful for a few weeks. It preserves my sanity -- I couldn't do this for an entire year without a break.

[spanikopita]

I fucking hated 3.

[Deleted]

I am right next to you hear. DS was an angel at 2, but oh man, these past couple of months. He got out of bed to come wake me up yesterday morning. He walked next to my side of the bed, looked me in the eyes and said " Good morning Mom, I'm not going to listen to anything you tell me to do today." turned around and walked off. Like WTF. That's how were going to start the day??! Three year olds are exhausting.

[Deleted]

I have said it before and I will say it again--3 year olds are assholes. They really are. We used the word "threenager" a lot last year.

[blueberry10]

Ugh, yes. DD is quickly approaching 3 and her selective hearing is making me crazy. Bedtime is the worst - I don't know how to get her to do anything without resorting to yelling, even though I know it's not a good solution to the problem.

[ilikedonuts]

I'm right here with you. And all she wants to do is play rough with her baby sister and I feel like she ignores me all damn day!

[kittycatlove]

Sept 22, 2014 15:35:12 GMT -5 blueberry10 said:

Ugh, yes. DD is quickly approaching 3 and her selective hearing is making me crazy. Bedtime is the worst - I don't know how to get her to do anything without resorting to yelling, even though I know it's not a good solution to the problem.

OMG the games at bedtime are exhausting. It's a constant fight every night. 

We're half way through 3, I'm hoping we come out ahead at 4.

[brady2012]

Three feels like a preview of the teenage years. DD borders on insolent some days and trying to get her moving, dressed, fed and out the door in the morning is rough no matter what time she wakes up.

We did something outside of school with one of her teachers and the teacher heard the way she was talking to us and said "Wow, she never talks like that at school." So at least there is that. I just feel like we work for her all.the.time.

[whitepicketfence]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm right there, too, with DD2. I told DH the other day that I didn't enjoy spending time with her She's exhausting and not that much fun to be around anymore.

I felt like such an awful parent for admitting that to him.

[Deleted]

Sept 22, 2014 15:37:56 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

Sept 22, 2014 15:29:13 GMT -5 @drewly said:

I am right next to you hear. DS was an angel at 2, but oh man, these past couple of months. He got out of bed to come wake me up yesterday morning. He walked next to my side of the bed, looked me in the eyes and said " Good morning Mom, I'm not going to listen to anything you tell me to do today." turned around and walked off. Like WTF. That's how were going to start the day??! Three year olds are exhausting.

Ok, that's pretty funny. And smart!

I worry about her language development. She's a new 3 but she couldn't come up with that.

He's always been a good talker. Now if I could just get him to walk in a straight line without tripping over his own damn feet, we'd be great. 

He moved up daycare classes to the 3-5 room last month and the mouthiness has just exploded since then. I get a lot of "you won't be my friend anymore" and "I won't play with you now". It's thrilling. 

[anaps28]

3 suuuuucks... it doesn't help I'm a million months pregnant. Some days are a breeze and others every damn thing becomes a HUGE ordeal. Yesterday he drove me insane all day...he wanted to scooter inside the house and I'm like can we just take it outside? You are going to hurt yourself! He looked at me and said " I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF" I was like really? it would be awesome if you could buddy.

[biscoffcookies]

We're having similar issues with DD. Holy crap, the tantrums. About EVERYTHING, even when there is nothing to be tantruming about. And it is not uncommon for us, if we tell her that she won't get X if she tantrums or will lose Y privilege if she keeps whining, she will snap right out of it and suddenly be sweet as pie. I was way more tolerant when she was younger, and the general wisdom was that kids that age tantrum because they kind of lose control and literally can't control themselves/their emotions. Now she can, and it feels like she is giving us a hardtime on purpose.

She does a lot of "You're not a nice mommy!" these days too.

[asoctoberfalls]

My 3 year old is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Some days he's sweet as pie and very compliant, and others he's a total nightmare. And he's bad for everyone, not just us. His daycare teachers are constantly giving us behavior reports.

[mlt]

Yup. My three year old was messing with his brother yesterday. "Please be gentle," I said. He looked me straight in the eye and threw his toy truck straight at my face as hard as he could. RAGE.

[juliette21]

Aww, 3 year olds are evil. Sorry you're dealing with one.

I strongly disliked my DS1 for a while after he turned 3. I felt so awful about it, and at the time I had a brand new baby which just compounded the guilt. It passes eventually, hang in there! 

[bunch]

3 yr olds are special. dd1 showed herself to her teacher the other day over her sleeve getting wet and her teacher, who is the sweetest lady ever, comes up to me and says, "I tried to clean the paint off of Hazel's sleeve and she did NOT like it." with the widest eyes I've ever seen. She has no idea. My only plus to the age is that when she wants to she can be incredibly charming. Otherwise I'm pretty much over it.

[Deleted]

I feel you. I just made this very same post about a month ago.
Hang in there. It does get better. We've had a solid streak since.
I'll be honest though I had to get really tough to get her to be good. I think at this phase they are so overwhelmed with life and all they have to/are expected to/need to figure out etc.

One thing I did that helped a ton was take away choices and chances but give her complete control over stuff I give 0 f*cks about...lol. There are no choices on what's for dinner. You will listen the first time or it's automatic time in your room. Wear THESE shoes. Don't sass me or I'm taking away Ipad time. What book you want for bed? I'm not picking two, have at the whole shelf. I think personally, for my kid the constant choice thing was just overwhelming and stressful and leading to meltdowns, but she still has the need to exert control over something. Life also got a lot better when I quit giving her chances to shape up and just went straight to the discipline. She knows she has to listen. She knows she can't hit her brother. She'd just do it one more time to see if I'd follow through. When I started following through the first time she started acting better, I yelled less and we all saved 10 minutes.

I've also noticed I had to rearrange her schedule a bit. She needs less constant activity changes and more stuff that keeps her occupied for a longer time (So instead of going from cars to blocks to art project I find an art project that will take her 45 minutes instead of 10 kwim?). She also needs more downtime and in a different way than she did prior. I'm still trying to figure out what works there.

Clear as mud? Ha.

Hang in there. It is hard.

[curbsideprophet]

DD turned three and decided she wanted to wake up at 5 am instead of 6:30. We are working on it but it is very frustrating.

[barefootcontessa]

Sept 22, 2014 15:26:44 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

I know it's bad when her babysitter says she isn't listening. She has been watching her since 8months old. I feel like her son (same age) is improving while my daughter is getting worse.

I feel like we must be doing something wrong. I wish I knew what to change.

do not blame yourself.  some kids are just difficult.  my first two boys are 18 months apart and have been similarly parented.  the first is doing great, pleasant to be around; the second not so much.  my third son is currently being pretty awful ... actually he has been pretty difficult for the last year.  he was a super easy baby, toddler and young preschooler ... now he is defiant and very difficult to manage/control.  

one thing that sometimes help is when we do "floor time."  Basically the child gets 20 minutes of my undivided attention and gets to pick what we do.   

[asoctoberfalls]

Sept 22, 2014 15:26:44 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

I know it's bad when her babysitter says she isn't listening. She has been watching her since 8months old. I feel like her son (same age) is improving while my daughter is getting worse.

I feel like we must be doing something wrong. I wish I knew what to change.

I feel like this, too. Nothing we try seems to work. He doesn't like the negative consequences we impose, but it doesn't stop his behavior. We do everything right, but we don't see results.

[ginkgoleaf]

Checking in as a frustrated mother of a 3.5yo today. Omg the screaming and crying we've had today. Just a few minutes ago he asked if I was mad and I said yes. So of course now he's being totally fine.

[galaxy8227]

Reading this thread makes me feel so much better that I'm not alone-DS is horrible lately.