I decided long ago (come, name it…) that I wouldn't ever have my father's lifestyle. He made a shitton more than I ever will (he was a doctor) but the hours were always shit and he never spent much time with us. My mom seemed like a solo parent for many years. I don't want that, ever. I married someone who had a job that complimented mine (that was fluke) and I chose a career that meant that I could lead a life that made me happy. That means I won't make 300k (but I can eventually make more than I do now, so that is good).
I have a very similar outlook - my dad is an actuary and started his own company. He worked 60-80 hour weeks for my entire childhood. Nope.
Both my parents always asked about why I didn't want to go into medicine (later, after I got over my fear of studying medicine)…um, yeah, love the 'idea', not the life. I don't want on calls or shift work or late clinics or any of that. And the specialities I was interested in would have demanded it. Not worth it. I like my summers off, pension and benefits, lol.
Post by aspentosh on Sept 22, 2014 19:20:44 GMT -5
I actually feel more "woe is me" IRL. The area we live in is pretty wealthy and I see the splurges or way people live and sometimes wish it were us. But then I remind myself we made the decisions we did so we could have the life we do, and if I don't compare myself to others, I am truly happy. So I try not to do it.
I feel bad that we make good money 200k combined but we are so broke. And behind. And I see posters making half what we make with houses and second kids and what the ducks? Nanny sucking all my cash.
Post by cincodemayo on Sept 22, 2014 19:27:31 GMT -5
I answered sometimes. I do wish that I wasn't the breadwinner because it would take pressure off me being successful. Also I get insecure about our in home daycare. I like her just fine and technically we could afford a center but H prefers our income go elsewhere. But whenever certain daycare topics come up I'm all insecure.
Two liberal arts majors who work for non profits in a vhcol area is a recipe for feeling poor. Sometimes I question my life choices. But then I work a 35 hour week and get 5 weeks of vacation and feel better.
No, I think that we do with what we have so the numbers don't always entice me. Maybe a higher number and our situation, but that's not going to happen.
Actually, while I am not insecure, I am totally jealous of the poster who had a combined HHI of 300k with jobs that didn't require more than 9-5. We make good money and are comfortable, so I don't want to trade off more money for even shittier work/life balance loads, but man that would be nice, lol.
I decided long ago (come, name it…) that I wouldn't ever have my father's lifestyle. He made a shitton more than I ever will (he was a doctor) but the hours were always shit and he never spent much time with us. My mom seemed like a solo parent for many years. I don't want that, ever. I married someone who had a job that complimented mine (that was fluke) and I chose a career that meant that I could lead a life that made me happy. That means I won't make 300k (but I can eventually make more than I do now, so that is good).
This is pretty much where I'm at. We have a high HHI, but H works long hours and is under a crazy amount of stress, and I am left doing 99% of the parenting. It's actually a situation I always swore if never get into, yet here I am. So I'm definitely jealous of people with 9-5 jobs.
No the polls don't make me feel insecure. Most things on MMM don't. The main thing I'm envious of is people with no student loans and US citizens in general lol.
Yes, but not because of what people have. I have a lot of regret in what job path I went down. It's a bit depressing to me to see what people are earning on their own and knowing there is only so far earning wise I could ever get no matter my education or years put in. If anything were to happen to my marriage I'd be in a tight spot and I don't know how I'd be able to support my family.
So when I the threads on what people earn it makes me feel bad that I will never be able to make a big contribution to our HHI and don't really have a choice in the SAH situation. When I say I don't make enough to be worth it I don't mean I'd only have $100/ week or something. When I figured it out I'd be in the hole $106/month and this is with free care for my daughter as part of my benefit. If I lost that I'd owe $996 a month after working full time. Now that is depressing.
No the polls don't make me feel insecure. Most things on MMM don't. The main thing I'm envious of is people with no student loans and US citizens in general lol.
Just curious. Why are you jealous of US citizens?
Mostly because of the opportunities I perceive there are. I've been shut out of some because I'm not and life would just have been easier. Also it's easier to travel as an American, no visas needed to many places.
Mostly because of the opportunities I perceive there are. I've been shut out of some because I'm not and life would just have been easier. Also it's easier to travel as an American, no visas needed to many places.
Are you a British citizen? I'm jealous of people in other western nations. Healthcare, social services, parental leave, etc., are all better than they are in the US. I'm totally jealous of EU folks and Canadians. DAMN YOU, CANADIANS.
Also, Canadians seem to love Canada so much. But not like in a Toby Keith "'Merica" kind of way, like in a genuine, "Canada is a pretty swell place to live, eh? Let's all talk aboot Canada!" I'm genuinely envious of that sort of love. I'd tag you all, but then I'd forget a Canadian, and then that Canadian and the others would have to question her patriotism, because obviously she is not doing a good enough job advertising that she lives in the best place on earth!
My favorite thing about being American, though, is free speech. Other countries do have some limits on that, and I am NOT okay with those.
I'm Nigerian. I did live in Toronto for a few months and loved it so yea Canada is great too! It's just so cold! I'm jealous of EU folk as well!
Nah. We are doing well. Making more money would require working more, which is not a trade off I am willing to make.
Reading my law school alumni magazine makes me feel totally inadequate, but beyond that I am generally pretty content with where I am.
The Harvard Law alumni magazine used to come to our apartment (I did not go to Harvard -- it was sent to someone else, but at our address). I emailed Harvard like every month begging to change the address because it made me feel inadequate
Nah. We are doing well. Making more money would require working more, which is not a trade off I am willing to make.
Reading my law school alumni magazine makes me feel totally inadequate, but beyond that I am generally pretty content with where I am.
The Harvard Law alumni magazine used to come to our apartment (I did not go to Harvard -- it was sent to someone else, but at our address. I emailed Harvard like every month begging to change the address because it made me feel inadequate
My friend and I keep saying we are going to come up with an alumni magazine bingo drinking game. Find someone who is writing a constitution for a Middle Eastern country, someone who has just freed the wrongfully imprisoned after single-handedly uncovering new DNA evidence, someone who has been named a tenured professor at a top 10 law school, someone who has recently been elected to high office, someone who has just been named a "special advisor" to the President, etc.
I am tempted to write in to say "Hens is still practicing with the same firm she went to after graduation, but only part-time, as she cannot hack it any more than that. She will never be a partner. She is currently living in a city the vast majority of you would rather die than move to, and she is doing a fairly mediocre job raising three unruly children. She has put on a good 15 pounds since graduation, and the chances of the President ever asking for her advice on anything are pretty much nil."