My babies scream way more in the car seat than they do when we're teaching them to sleep...
Also bs that my babies can't soothe themselves, especially with the help of a comfort object. They sure as he'll still let me know when they actually need something other than to fall asleep.
Sleep is important for brain development. If some crying leads to more sleep it's going to be worth it for a lot of families.
Based on what besides your own experience? I mean, for every baby that CIO didn't work for we could come up with just as many, if not more, well-adjusted toddlers/kids who did CIO and are fine.
Do whatever works for you, CIO or don't, but I don't think blanket statements like the above are fair. And this is aside from what Brie said about taking the parents' mental health and well-being into consideration.
well,everyone needs to do what they need to do. CIO made everyone in my house stressed and unhappy, so...
If it works other parents, and I know it does, that's fine.
We worked at it for a month. It never got better, it just continued to get worse. Crying for extended periods of time can't be good for them. I know it's a flameful opinion.
I don't think it's totally flameful. I think crying for HOURS or at a very young age IS harmful. I think that your DS was what they an escalating crier. Some kids escalate, some soothe. I think you are a good mom for realizing it wasn't working and trying something else. I am also pretty sure that crying once for 45 minutes or so is not going to harm a child. I DON'T however believe that CIO causes SIDS, nor is there any data that proves this. Not saying you are saying that just referencing the article.
I think crying is probably not good for them while it is going on, because obviously they are stressed. But I don't think it's damaging in the long term - unless it continues long term, I guess. I would have stopped and tried something else in your case too, Grace. I think I also remember you mentioning that he threw up if left to cry too long. I would not feel good about that.
I actually suck at doing CIO even though I act all tough about it. lol. I'll throw up my hands and be all "well, she's just going to have to CIO!" but then I can't completely follow through. Thankfully motn has not been an issue, just bedtime.
Oh I am a total wimp too. I had to go out on the back porch with a cigarrette ( the first and last I smoked in YEARS ) and a glass of wine to get through it. It was a stressful 3 days.
I am very anti-CIO based on my own experiences, and yes, I guess I do believe the hype about crying for extended periods of time being bad for babies.
Anyway, I tried CIO with Henry. It went on for at least a month. During that month I watched my normally calm, good natured kid come to first dread bedtime, then start screaming through bath. when he started crying through dinner time I said enough. This is not the relationship I want with my kid. It was an absolute nightmare. He is 3 now, sleeps all night in his own bed so we did something right, but CIO doesn't happen in our house.
Again, this was just MY OWN experience.
Everything I've read about CIO says if it hasn't worked after a week that you should discontinue trying. So CIO advocates would agree that it was not the right solution for your kid.
Is extended crying bad for babies if they're being held or just when they're in their crib? DD regularly cried for over an hour while we held her before she fell asleep. The first night we did CIO she cried for 45 minutes, the next night, 20 and the third night, 5. After that she went down easy. CIO significantly decreased extended crying for us.
Post by jeaniebueller on Sept 23, 2014 11:26:15 GMT -5
My DS cried every night from anywhere between 5 seconds and 2 minutes when I put him in his crib from the age of 9 months until 14 months. No matter how I moved his bedtime, switched his routine, etc. I finally realized that he just *needed* to cry a little to settle/soothe himself. After he finished crying, he went right to sleep like it was no big deal.
The thing I found with sleep training was that ds cried for like 20 minutes for what, 3 nights? It wasn't like I doomed him to a month of 4 hours per night of crying. And he immediately started sleeping in longer stretches - sleep has to be better than lying awake fussing and crying. We were still room sharing so I have a very fucking good idea of how he reacted to the training.
This is my only concern, dd is not stopping the crying for a bit each night, and at naps. But it isn't usually that much. Still, sometimes I worry that we are 'doing it wrong'
We started st 2 weeks ago last Friday. She normally cries for 2-10 minutes each time but just this week has gone down twice for naps with no crying whatsoever. I feel like there is a sweet spot that I catch those times when she is primed for sleep.
Post by changedname on Sept 23, 2014 11:33:31 GMT -5
Also, before we did ST , we let DD nap on us and fall asleep at night on us then we transferred her to the crib. She almost always cried for 10-30 minutes before she fell asleep. Screaming crying, writhing around etc. We started realizing that our loving arms weren't comforting her as much as we thought they were and that's why we did ST.
"What if they have vomitted, or slipped down under their blankets? What if they don’t cry because nobody comes, what if they become a SIDS statistic as a result?"
A. Why would there be blankets in the crib? B. This is why I used a video monitor, so I would know exactly what was going on. C. At some point in all the reading I did about sleep (maybe it was in Ferber's book?) I read that; at least some of the studies done on children who appeared calm from the outside, but still had elevated levels of cortisol; were done on children who already had sleep issues. (Wish I could remember where I got that from.) D. My friend who was an adamant bedshare-er is still bedsharing with her three year old who doesn't STTN. Her husband moved out of the bedroom a year ago. I happily bedshared in the beginning, but long term? Nope, not for me.
wait. What does your friend bed sharing have to do with anything?
That's her suggested alternative to sleep training.