Post by countthestars on Sept 22, 2014 19:42:45 GMT -5
I realize this is irrational.
H travels for work a couple of times per month. Every time he is gone, I sleep like shit and I don't like being home alone. While I *know* that no one is going to break into my house / murder us / kidnap us etc., it's hard not to let my mind wander to those places. Occasionally DD and I will sleep at my parents house, but now that she's sleeping much better in her crib I don't like to eff with that. I have had my high school cousin and a super pregnant friend sleep over at times (mostly for fun, not for "protection") and I've been much better those nights but it's obviously not always feasible.
This isn't crippling me but I do dread H's nights away somewhat because of it. Can anyone relate? Any tips on how to sleep btter those nights, besides drugging myself since I am the sole adult in the house? We have a few coming up so I'd prefer to have some tricks up my sleeve.
100%. I hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it.
I basically don't sleep the whole time he is gone. I'm dreading his trip in November when I'll have two kids. With one who basically STTN I would just drug up on a sleeping pill. Can't really do that when BFing and getting up in the MOTN.
I have the same trouble. I usually make sure everything is locked up and curtains are closed while it's still daylight, and then I stay upstairs once the babies are down. I try to view it like a treat night---bring dessert/wine up to bed, choose a super girly movie, watch it in pajamas in bed, do my nails, etc. it helps keep the mood in my room calm anyway.
I don't sleep at all when my H is not home. I've always been like this, I joke that I'm afraid of the dark. It's infrequent enough that I never adjust to it. No tips, but I can totally relate.
Post by sunshine608 on Sept 22, 2014 19:48:14 GMT -5
Here too. For me the first night is the absolute worst. Before DS I would stay up and tire myself out on cleaning sprees. With baby sleep deprivation that isn't feasible anymore but i stiill sleep like crap.
No help here.mHe has been traveling our entire marriage including being overseas most of the last 2 years and I still sleep bad. After a few weeks I settle in a little better but it still sucks for those short trips.
I didn't when we still had our dog - not that she was a great guard dog, but she would alert me to any strange noises abd was good company. She passed away this summer though, and now it does freak me out a little to be home alone without her Anyway, no real advice, just commiseration.
Post by gibbinator on Sept 22, 2014 19:49:33 GMT -5
I check the locks compulsively when dh is away, and I used to bring ds1 to bed with me so I could lock the bedroom door too. And my imagination runs wild at any noise (probably caused by the cats). It's funny because before moving away from home, I had no problem if my mom was gone overnight.
I didn't when we still had our dog - not that she was a great guard dog, but she would alert me to any strange noises abd was good company. She passed away this summer though, and now it does freak me out a little to be home alone without her Anyway, no real advice, just commiseration.
This is actually why I don't like him being gone. Our female dog growls at ANY noise when it's just me home, so it drives me crazy and sometimes worries me. So I don't sleep well at all.
Thankfully it's very rare, but that means I've never figured out a way to cope.
Getting an alarm system has helped IMMENSLY. Seriously. I don't worry about sounds because we have motion detectors. If someone was in my house, I'd know it lol. We have a SimpliSafe system. I think it was about $500 for all the stuff and then it's $15 a month to monitor it. Totally and 100% worth it. I used to sleep like shit before we had it. Plus, I can leave the house with the window open on nice days and not be paranoid.
Post by AlpineSlide on Sept 22, 2014 20:03:45 GMT -5
but seriously, i just make sure the doors are locked. dh works 3rd shift so it is just how it is every night. i have to be rested for ds so i make myself sleep.
Post by lindyanne on Sept 22, 2014 20:06:03 GMT -5
I enjoy the alone time but usually have that problem too. I used to have insomnia and I would stay up till 3 or 4 doing random shit and be a zombie the next day. It's gotten a lot better since I've gotten more used to it and also since DH travels less. And I'm perpetually tired too.
Okay so my H travels a ton and you'd think I'd be used to it but it's hard. Usually the beginning of the night is fine. Watch all the shows DH hates! Order takeout! But I get to like 11 and it's hard actually falling asleep. Hang in there. Every now and then I text a friend and say she needs to answer my text or call no matter what time it is. It helps knowing I have that backup.
I hate it too. I have an irrational fear of the house catching on fire and being unable to rescue all the kids. When DH is gone I let them all sleep with me.
Getting an alarm system has helped IMMENSLY. Seriously. I don't worry about sounds because we have motion detectors. If someone was in my house, I'd know it lol. We have a SimpliSafe system. I think it was about $500 for all the stuff and then it's $15 a month to monitor it. Totally and 100% worth it. I used to sleep like shit before we had it. Plus, I can leave the house with the window open on nice days and not be paranoid.
This exactly. I started having bad anxiety about being up in the MOTN after DD was born. We looked into SimpliSafe because so many people here recommend it and decided to give it a try. We love it.
I used to, then we got an alarm and I feel way, way better. Even though I know the cops don't get there fast, I'd have a warning if someone were coming in and hopefully time to grab the gun. One time when h was oot, a squirrel or something got in our garage and knocked some stuff down....I called the police!! I needed that alarm.
I HATE it, really, really hate it. I'm worse up at our cabin alone (which is the norm up there since DH usually stays home except weekend) because I obsess over a bear coming in a window. Bears have come so close you can hear it breathing outside an open window. I use falling asleep with the TV as my crutch...and sometimes alcohol. I have an alarm in the city & gun in the mountains & it helps some.
Post by countthestars on Sept 22, 2014 20:23:16 GMT -5
Thanks everyone! I'm glad I'm not alone but sad that so many of us struggle with this. We have an alarm system but I usually keep it on "stay" instead of "away" so if the robber broke in through the window it wouldn't go off (lol?). We don't have a dog. You've given me some good things to think about!
Post by daisy24342 on Sept 22, 2014 20:25:09 GMT -5
I can relate as well. When DH deploys or goes away for training, it can be short ( a week) or for 6-7 months. I can honestly say it just got easier over time, the first few nights are always the hardest, but I eventually sleep well after time. Things that help me feel safe 1) alarm system 2) attentive dog, 3) knowledge of gun safety ( yes we own a couple and they do make me feel more secure especially when I am alone...I know I can defend my chilldren in an unlikely event).
I agree that some times the dog makes things worse ( she growls when she hears car doors when my neighbor comes home late) but ultimately it does make me feel better....I check out the noise, and we go back to bed.
When DH is gone, i cannot watch my crime shows ( criminal minds or something similar). That doesn't help at all!
I'm with you... DH's schedule is funky and works at least two overnights a week. So I should be used to it by now, but over 4 years later and I'm not. I just don't sleep as well because I'm always keeping an ear out for 'something'.
I do silly things like have bells hanging on the door handles (as an extra alarm system, lol) and keep pepper spray in my night stand.
I do have to say since having DS, I'm a little better. Before I was all, 'OMG, I'm a helpless girl & will be a victim' and now I'm like, 'Someone try and come near my baby and I will cut you'.
The pluses are that I make whatever I want for dinner those nights or get take out. DH hates Chinese, so it's a treat. I'll watch shows that DH hates. I don't shave my legs those days because I know there will be no sex, lol.
Post by nextbigthing on Sept 22, 2014 20:31:13 GMT -5
Totally hate being home overnight alone. Setting the alarm, turning on outside lights and sleeping with the tv on helps. Fortunately DH is only gone overnight maybe 2 nights a year. I would be a wreck if he traveled a lot.
Post by Velar Fricative on Sept 22, 2014 20:31:32 GMT -5
I've always hated it but I've always lived in apartments where there was always a second barrier of entry and it's rarer for random apartments to get burglarized. We are moving into a house soon and I've told DH the first order of business is getting an alarm system. Our area isn't even unsafe, I just get so nervous alone.
Post by asoctoberfalls on Sept 22, 2014 20:31:37 GMT -5
I also hate it. I feel stupid... I'm a grown woman, and I shouldn't be scared. But, I can't help it! I didn't used to worry when I had my big dog... he was an amazing guard dog.
We got an alarm system because of my paranoia. When DH is gone, I compulsively check the app to make sure no doors have been opened, but I do sleep better.