Post by UnderProtest on Sept 23, 2014 9:19:45 GMT -5
I know I'm not really a regular around here, but MM is slow today and IL is always slow so I'm sticking it here. Background, we moved to London 7 months ago from NC. I'm really homesick right now. I thought after being here for awhile things would be better but its almost worse. Everything seems to be more difficult and its just exhausting. I also thought that once the kids were in preschool I would have the time to get out and do stuff, but since they are only there for 2 hours every day I barely eat lunch and do one chore and its time to go get them again. Its made me feel even more isolated than before. I'm an introvert at heart but even this is too much. I don't know what the point of this post is, maybe I just need some support and hair pats.
Awww that sucks! Sorry you're having a tough time. I lived across the country for a couple of years and know that homesick feeling. Try to set up some skype time with your family& friends. Can you get a sitter so you can get out and do things?
Awww that sucks! Sorry you're having a tough time. I lived across the country for a couple of years and know that homesick feeling. Try to set up some skype time with your family& friends. Can you get a sitter so you can get out and do things?
We FaceTime regularly with the families. My parents just visited and his mom is coming soon. I guess I miss my network (we aren't that close to family). I did finally find a sitter and she comes every other Saturday night for some date time, but isn't available during the week.
I really didn't think I would be homesick at all. We aren't living in the middle of nowhere, for goodness sake, we are in LONDON. Who could be unhappy here?
Awww that sucks! Sorry you're having a tough time. I lived across the country for a couple of years and know that homesick feeling. Try to set up some skype time with your family& friends. Can you get a sitter so you can get out and do things?
We FaceTime regularly with the families. My parents just visited and his mom is coming soon. I guess I miss my network (we aren't that close to family). I did finally find a sitter and she comes every other Saturday night for some date time, but isn't available during the week.
I really didn't think I would be homesick at all. We aren't living in the middle of nowhere, for goodness sake, we are in LONDON. Who could be unhappy here?
I didn't think I would be homesick either. I was in San Diego. Is there a gym with childcare near you? That may be a good outlet. Or setting up play dates with your kids preschool friends? Otherwise, I suggest wine. Lots and lots of wine!
Post by karmasabiotch on Sept 23, 2014 9:54:11 GMT -5
Is there anything you're interested in that you can join? I'm a huge introvert and the thought of talking to someone new makes me sick but you could walk animals in a rescue or something.
I'm sorry you're homesick. It sounds hard. Hair pets.
I am sorry that you're homesick. It's completely normal to have those feelings. Find a sitter during the week for a few hours, and go do something for yourself. Have you had a chance to connect with other expats there? Or a mom's group?
And I think that you should plan a GTG with RockNVoll once she's there. She's good people.
What kind of hours does your DH work? How old are your kids? I get that it can be lonely, I was stationed away from everyone I knew twice and it takes a long time to make friends and make a new life for yourself.
Do you guys travel or do fun things on the weekends? I think if you put some effort into planning a fun outing every weekend and researching new things to see or do every week it might serve as a distraction. Having something to look forward to is a good way for me to hold off feeling depressed/lonely. I was stationed at mildenhall for two years. Ironically, you will miss it when you leave, and it takes a long time for home to feel like home again. There is so much to see and enjoy there. I know the day in and day out can be hard. I am sorry.
Anyone who has moved away from a place where they previously felt settled, no matter how much "better" of a city London is. It's not home...yet. I had the same feelings when we moved from the Midwest to beautiful Southern CA. I loved the area, but felt like an outsider looking in for quite awhile.
Ditto the others re: this is the hardest time. We've moved quite a few times & I always hit a slump about 6-7 months after the move. The excitement wears off and it's when things really sink in...this is my life. Not a fun vacation or something cool, it's just life. And it's when I kind of feel like the "new to town" card starts wearing off, too.
UnderProtest, I've been in London for about a year and a half now and I don't think the homesickness ever actually goes away, it just changes. I know exactly how you feel. *hugs*
I'm usually around if you ever want to meet up for a drink or something.
Post by rupertpenny on Sept 23, 2014 10:09:28 GMT -5
I moved around the same time as you and I'm definitely missing the US a bit. And I totally feel you on everything just being more difficult abroad. I know it's partially because I'm not used to how things work, but I swear something as simple as writing a check can turn into the biggest issue in no time.
Anyway, I don't really have much advice. What is really keeping me going right now is the thought of Chipotle, Target, outlet malls, and fountain coke with lots of ice when we go home at Christmas.
We FaceTime regularly with the families. My parents just visited and his mom is coming soon. I guess I miss my network (we aren't that close to family). I did finally find a sitter and she comes every other Saturday night for some date time, but isn't available during the week.
I really didn't think I would be homesick at all. We aren't living in the middle of nowhere, for goodness sake, we are in LONDON. Who could be unhappy here?
I didn't think I would be homesick either. I was in San Diego. Is there a gym with childcare near you? That may be a good outlet. Or setting up play dates with your kids preschool friends? Otherwise, I suggest wine. Lots and lots of wine!
I haven't met but one of the preschool moms yet. They are all picked up by their nannies. I did go to the PTA picnic and while I felt sufficiently awkward I did meet two other Americans but their kids are much older.
I do drink....lots....much more than I ever did in the States. I can't decide if its helping or hurting my mood.
Is there anything you're interested in that you can join? I'm a huge introvert and the thought of talking to someone new makes me sick but you could walk animals in a rescue or something.
I'm sorry you're homesick. It sounds hard. Hair pets.
I don't have many hobbies....especially extrovert ones. I've always been a reader, but this isn't exactly a social activity. I did look into classes to learn how to knit and such, but childcare is an issue.
I am sorry that you're homesick. It's completely normal to have those feelings. Find a sitter during the week for a few hours, and go do something for yourself. Have you had a chance to connect with other expats there? Or a mom's group?
And I think that you should plan a GTG with RockNVoll once she's there. She's good people.
I do hope to meet up with her when she gets here......as long as she isn't scared away by this post.
Is there anything you're interested in that you can join? I'm a huge introvert and the thought of talking to someone new makes me sick but you could walk animals in a rescue or something.
I'm sorry you're homesick. It sounds hard. Hair pets.
I don't have many hobbies....especially extrovert ones. I've always been a reader, but this isn't exactly a social activity. I did look into classes to learn how to knit and such, but childcare is an issue.
There's a book club called London Girly Book Club. A friend and I went 2x. We got drunk and it was lots of fun
What kind of hours does your DH work? How old are your kids? I get that it can be lonely, I was stationed away from everyone I knew twice and it takes a long time to make friends and make a new life for yourself.
Do you guys travel or do fun things on the weekends? I think if you put some effort into planning a fun outing every weekend and researching new things to see or do every week it might serve as a distraction. Having something to look forward to is a good way for me to hold off feeling depressed/lonely. I was stationed at mildenhall for two years. Ironically, you will miss it when you leave, and it takes a long time for home to feel like home again. There is so much to see and enjoy there. I know the day in and day out can be hard. I am sorry.
He works pretty long hours. Its much better here than in the States and I know he is really trying to be home for us, but he does have a job to do, and a new role that he is learning too. The kids are almost 3 so I am also dealing with the terrible 2/3s. I've always had a hard time making friends so this isn't completely new. I just haven't moved in awhile.
We haven't traveled yet (are going away in two weeks) but we do try to get around and experience new things here. Some of my issue is that when I get like this, its just too overwhelming to plan or research anything. I just want it to be easy to drive to the beach and nothing is easy here. Well, it wasn't as easy in the States once we had twins, but easier than here. There are things that I like and it is an amazing city, I'm just lonely.
I moved around the same time as you and I'm definitely missing the US a bit. And I totally feel you on everything just being more difficult abroad. I know it's partially because I'm not used to how things work, but I swear something as simple as writing a check can turn into the biggest issue in no time.
Anyway, I don't really have much advice. What is really keeping me going right now is the thought of Chipotle, Target, outlet malls, and fountain coke with lots of ice when we go home at Christmas.
I am in awe of where you moved. I don't think I could deal with that much culture shock. This is more than enough for me. I am amazed daily about how difficult simple things can be. I'm having issues with the house we are renting and I think I could have fixed the plumbing 4 months ago, but instead I'm waiting for the contractors.
Oh, to be able to go shopping at Target.....so many things and all so convenient and cheap. I have been crazing American junk food for about a week now. I'm dreaming of queso and proper BBQ and root beer floats. WTF is wrong with me?
There is a plan for that. I don't totally trust my MIL so I do have to be careful of the situation. But I do intend to get out while they are here.
Oh I can certainly understand that. I'm glad you're going to try to take some time.
I need to find something fun to do by myself as my two friends here are now unavailable (one left the country for awhile and the other is working full time now). I'm such a homebody.
I never really got home sick in South Africa but I was definitely ready to move back to the US by the 18 month mark. Everything seems more difficult as an expat and it can be frustrating and exhausting. It takes more mental energy being in an unfamiliar place.
UnderProtest, I'm sorry you're homesick. I grew up overseas and know exactly what that's like, and I imagine it's compounded by having to raise twins there!
My mom always joined this group wherever we moved:
I don't know if it's any good in London, but her best friend of the last 20 years is someone she met through the group in Istanbul.
I found that after about a year, things settled down and while I still missed the States, there were things to appreciate about living abroad. Now I'm homesick for Europe