If a wedding invite doesn't show up 3 weeks before wedding

[amberlyrose]

I can assume I'm either
A) Not Invited
B) It isn't happening

Right?

I have a Save the Date for my cousin's wedding Oct 11th. I KNOW it is happening, her sisters are posting all over FB about the dresses, etc. At this point, I don't even plan on attending since the STDs went out in August without any previous knowledge of this thing. But I also know that there will be a major bitch fest that I didn't go when I'll be home for another wedding 2 weeks after. I just need a defense when I get called out for not making a 16 hr drive twice in one month. I hate family politics.

[dottyblue]

You aren't invited. 3 weeks before the wedding? I guarantee their caterer needs a headcount by next week at the latest. You have an excuse.

[wambam]

If you got a save the date, you should be invited. I would contact the couple and see what the deal is.

[ladystardust]

They sent save the dates in August for an October wedding? If you got a save the date, I would expect an invitation. I bet it doesn't show up until the week before. I wouldn't go though! Sorry, too late of notice!

[ECB]

I don't know what defense you need past "I didn't get an invitation". OR if you do get one, then "I didn't get one until _ days/weeks before and I wasn't sure if I was invited until it was too late".

[karmasabiotch]

Not invited.

[bcv513]

Maybe it got lost in the mail?

[amberlyrose]

Sept 23, 2014 12:31:42 GMT -5 dottyblue said:

You aren't invited. 3 weeks before the wedding? I guarantee their caterer needs a headcount by next week at the latest. You have an excuse.

Oh, there's no caterer. It will be her dad and uncles grilling brisket and making tortillas. Guaranteed it is a BYOB thing too. I was the only one in the family to have a catered wedding. 

[amberlyrose]

Sept 23, 2014 12:33:21 GMT -5 ladystardust said:

They sent save the dates in August for an October wedding? If you got a save the date, I would expect an invitation. I bet it doesn't show up until the week before. I wouldn't go though! Sorry, too late of notice!

If they go out at all. 

[sineadorebellion]

Your family sounds a little like mine, in which case you'll probably get a call less than a week before telling you about the wedding, and then get the invite in the day after it happens.

Yeah, that has happened to us more than once this year lol.

[definitelyO]

I think if you got a STD then you'd be invited to the wedding - I'd ask.

Did anyone else get invitations? I'd check around. But I don't think the "I didn't have time" excuse won't fly if the invite gets there the week before due to the notification from the STD.

We had a lot of my family think our STDs were actual invites and they started RSVP-ing to them...

[fryjack2]

If its that low key, maybe the Save the Date is the invite?

[demelza]

This same thing just happened to us. Got the Save the Date, & no invite came in the mail after others got their invites. We figured they had to cut back. Nope, our invite was lost in the mail. It is a weird situation to be in. The couple getting married ended up asking us if we were going or not, we were like oh, we actually are invited, whew.

[amberlyrose]

Sept 23, 2014 13:02:24 GMT -5 fryjack2 said:

If its that low key, maybe the Save the Date is the invite?

It said formal invite to follow and doesn't have location info on it, but I'm sure it's on the farm.

[ECB]

Knowing more... what do you really want to do? If you don't want to go, then I'd just play dumb and say as you didn't get an invitation, it fell off your radar so you didn't go. In my busy life - this could actually happen!

If you want to go/ will fall to feeling guilty, then start making some calls.

[sandytoes]

Did anyone else in your family receive an invitation?

[chiclet]

If you got a save the date, you're still invited.

I sent invites at beginning of April for our June 12th wedding. Three weeks before the wedding I had a cousin ask if he needed to RSVP, I told him not to bother (we're pretty close and I knew he was coming), a week later he asked for the address. I assumed he lost the invite, nope he never got it. It was returned to us after the honeymoon.

[amberlyrose]

Sept 23, 2014 13:09:03 GMT -5 ECB said:

Knowing more... what do you really want to do? If you don't want to go, then I'd just play dumb and say as you didn't get an invitation, it fell off your radar so you didn't go. In my busy life - this could actually happen!

If you want to go/ will fall to feeling guilty, then start making some calls.

I just don't think I can make it, even if I did want to go. I'd have to fly to an airport 3 hrs away from home, drive there and then fly back the next day. I mean, I guess I want to go because I love my family too. But I know that there will be drama when I show up two weeks later for a whole week for a wedding I'm in. 

I need to ask my mom if she got an invite yet. And if she's going because at least I could catch a ride with her.

[thejen626]

I would assume you aren't invited, but call an Aunt, etc, to confirm.

This reminds me, years ago I was at a party at a friends house and this chick I hardly knew, pulled a STD out of her purse and gave it to me, for a wedding Sept 3rd. I never got an invitation in the mail, so I just assumed I wasn't invited. I wasn't planning on attending anyway because my DH worked weekends and I was 9 months pregnant, and I didn't know this girl well enough to attend her wedding alone. Then I was leaving for a girls weekend and a mutual friend J showed up at my house with a wedding invitation. It was August 24th. So, ~10 days before the wedding. The "RSVP by" date had already passed! So, I didn't RSVP that we weren't going to make it. 10 days later J texted me that there were 3 empty chairs at the reception with my name, DH's name, and DD1's name. What?! Then the bride de-friended me on Facebook a few days later. The whole thing was so strange.

[amberlyrose]

thejen626- that is super weird!!

[Gato]

Well, if you don't want to go, I wouldn't call if I were you.

Just tell them you didn't get an invite, so you assumed plans had changed. It's not your responsibility to confirm whether or not you were invited, so don't let anyone make you feel guilty. If you get an invite a week before the event, the truth is that's too late to make plans.

I live close to family now, so I get not wanting to hear the complaints. But you know what? I am not here on earth to please them. I will bend over backwards for family if they are sick or need my help. But two 16 hour drives in one month would not be happening and I definitely would chose the wedding for which I actually received an invite!

[livinitup]

Sept 23, 2014 12:59:05 GMT -5 @astrid said:

Oh, we never got a STD, though.

That's good news!


Oh wait, you don't mean a sexually transmitted disease. nm.