Baby showers - is this how it works now?

[Deleted]

I am invited to a shower in a few weeks and am confused. It says so and so is registered at Amazon and Target. Then underneath - please bring a children's book (in lieu of cards) and a pack of diapers (for a raffle/game).

Back in my day you just brought a gift - preferably anything off the registry. There were no other qualifications/expectations to attend. 

[my4girls]

I have been invited to one where they asked for a book in lieu of a card. but just one and never anything more. I don't like the idea of a gift, and this, and that and some more things.

I am hosting one this weekend, we didn't do any of that crap

[Deleted]

That's a lot. Every now and again people request extra stuff.

Feel free to bring those items or ignore or buy a smaller gift and bring them.

[BeagleMama]

Price of Gift I Would Have Bought
- cost of book
- cost of pack of diapers
= price of "gift" I actually buy

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2014 13:55:12 GMT -5 superduper said:

So you are expected to spend $10-$20 on a book and diapers AND a gift on top of that? Ugh. I'm so glad that my friends and I are all done having kids.

Yes this is how I am interpreting the invitation too.

[my4girls]

Sept 23, 2014 13:56:20 GMT -5 @astrid said:

The book instead of a card thing I've seen. Requiring that, a gift, and a raffle of diapers is weird. And how does this diaper raffle help the mom unless you get to be in the raffle with your entry as diapers? It's confusing no matter how you slice it.

I am pretty sure that is how is works. Diapers buy your entry to win some prize

[snipsnsnails]

Yeah, it's a thing now. Also, smaller gifts for a wishing well, I've seen to.

[ECB]

I have been to one "bring a book in lieu of a card" shower, but that's it.  The people who do these things think they are cute and helping the mom (and yes, they do help), but it's all at the expense of the guests.  Which is rude.

BUT that being said... they are still a choice.  You don't have to do any/either of these things if you don't want to.  And really... maybe the MTB will notice, but the other guests won't notice nor care. 

[sjh722]

It annoys me to no end when showers have a lot of homework. TJ Maxx/Marshalls usually has a decent selection of board books for ~$4, FWIW. I would "forget" my pack of diapers unless it was a BFF.

(My MIL and SILs did the book thing for my shower. We have a million random books and some of them are TERRIBLE and clearly re-gifted. Like 15% are actually worthwhile.)

[Deleted]

I have been to the " bring an outfit for the clothesline" plus a gift shower.

So it's like 2x gifts.

[ZoeHart]

I've been to lots of "bring books instead of cards" showers lately.

[stephlove]

I love the idea of a book in lieu of a card, but I would never make it mandatory. Expecting guest to bring a book, diapers AND a gift is a bit much. Honestly, I'd probably do the gift as I normally would, and either a book or a small pack of diapers.

[autumnfire]

My host asked for a signed book in lieu of a card as well. Our shower was the first I'd seen this done but it was such a nice sentiment.

[madringal]

I went to one just like this on Sunday. I never do the diaper thing, so I didn't bring a pack. I was super annoyed at the book thing. A "cheap" childrens book is 8.99 at Target. I can get a card for $1. So my $40 gift ended up being close to $60 once I got a gift bag and tissue paper. I think it is rude to expect others to stock your babies library. If you want books, register for them.

[jennistarr1]

Diapers would be a part of my gift, they are way too expensive to be a throw in

But the book, I typically just buy a 4$ books...a card would be 3$ so I think this is pretty smart. Sure you can get more expensive books or cheaper cards...

[v]

I have often been asked to bring a book, but never in lieu of a card.

I would not want to bring diapers because I do want to play a game/raffle that involves diapers. No no no.

[christy082]

My mom is doing a diaper raffle at my shower. I told her they can be seen as tacky but she likes the idea. So I found her some wording that clearly states this is optional.

[venice2007]

We did the diaper/wipes at my sil shower. For every pack of diapers or wipes you brought you got a raffle ticket. We the in lieu of games & pulled tickets thru out the afternoon and gave gift cards to starbucks, macys, target, etc for 10-15 bucks. Then one last pull with all the tickets back in the bin for one big prize of a $50 gift card. The more diapers or wipes brought the more raffle tickets you got.
People loved it and my sil didn't buy diapers or wipes at all until the baby was 9 months. People brought a ton.
Btw the 6 of us hosting we gave out 25 gift cards ( 5 per host to buy, one host bought the $50 one)
It gave people a chance to win several times. Making it worth buying extra of they chose to enter the raffle. Some chose not to and didn't bring extra and didn't mind. We did put it on the invitation as how the diaper game worked. Some joined in, some didn't. It was a big shower tho between both families

People loved it instead of games and crappy prizes

[autumnfire]

Sept 23, 2014 14:12:11 GMT -5 superduper said:

Sept 23, 2014 14:06:06 GMT -5 autumnfire said:

My host asked for a signed book in lieu of a card as well. Our shower was the first I'd seen this done but it was such a nice sentiment.

See, this is really don't get. And maybe I'm just not sentimental, but I don't keep cards except for the ones I get from my husband, so signing a book is just weird to me.

It's really nice to open the book and read the message someone left for her. To me it was a way to replace the wishes for baby, or write a letter for baby on their birthday , where you would read close relatives notes to baby on each passing birthday. For me it was really nice and neat, I didn't know it was happening. But now whenever we read a book to her we read the inscription left for her before we start.

[keyslover]

Um I went to one where at the end of the shower the MIL brought around a piggy bank/college fund and asked everyone for spare change or money from their purse.

[NothingWrongwithOhio]

My mother did that stuff for my baby shower and I kinda side eyed it.

That being said, I had a wishing well when I hosted my SIL's bridal shower, but that was because the groom's mom was gung ho about it and I just didn't care enough to argue.

[sometimesrunner]

I always buy this book www.amazon.com/Time-Bed-Mem-Fox/dp/0152010661/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1411499771&sr=8-1&keywords=time+for+bed
when asked because it's awesome and usually under $4.

[venice2007]

Sept 23, 2014 14:16:39 GMT -5 keyslover said:

Um I went to one where at the end of the shower the MIL brought around a piggy bank/college fund and asked everyone for spare change or money from their purse.

Please tell me you made this up as a joke. Please. I can't imagine anyone doing this. No no no

[autumnfire]

Sept 23, 2014 14:16:39 GMT -5 keyslover said:

Um I went to one where at the end of the shower the MIL brought around a piggy bank/college fund and asked everyone for spare change or money from their purse.

I would be mortified if MIL or my Mom ever did this at our shower.

[stellas]

Sept 23, 2014 14:16:39 GMT -5 keyslover said:

Um I went to one where at the end of the shower the MIL brought around a piggy bank/college fund and asked everyone for spare change or money from their purse.

(Mouth agape)

(Mouth closed)

(Agape again)

[joshlyman]

When I hosted a shower for my friend we suggested bringing a children's book in lieu of a card OR a pack of diapers for the raffle. Diaper raffles are extremely common around here, but I really liked the idea of a book with a personal message inside in lieu of a card, so we kinda combined them. It was all very clearly voluntary on the invites though.

[keyslover]

Sept 23, 2014 14:17:49 GMT -5 venice2007 said:

Sept 23, 2014 14:16:39 GMT -5 keyslover said:

Um I went to one where at the end of the shower the MIL brought around a piggy bank/college fund and asked everyone for spare change or money from their purse.

Please tell me you made this up as a joke. Please. I can't imagine anyone doing this. No no no

I wish it was a joke.
It was my cousins shower and no one really knew the other side (dating like a week- so technically not MIL  and opps a baby).  It was beyond awkward.  My aunt was mortified.  

[birdistheword]

Sept 23, 2014 14:07:48 GMT -5 madringal said:

I went to one just like this on Sunday. I never do the diaper thing, so I didn't bring a pack. I was super annoyed at the book thing. A "cheap" childrens book is 8.99 at Target. I can get a card for $1. So my $40 gift ended up being close to $60 once I got a gift bag and tissue paper. I think it is rude to expect others to stock your babies library. If you want books, register for them.

This is where I am. Cards and books do not cost the same, so I don't understand the "in lieu of" thing. Really it's just "bring us an extra gift, and we'll throw you a bone and let you pass on the $1 card." 

I still do it when it's requested, but I grumble about it, lol.

[joshlyman]

Sept 23, 2014 14:29:08 GMT -5 pandora89 said:

The book instead of a card, plus a gift plus something else is super annoying and really common.

Cards are so damn expensive that I did not feel bad at all offering the book instead of card thing as a suggestion. For like $2 more you can purchase a book that will actually be used, which would be my preference, instead of spending money on something that will likely get tossed. JMO.

[Eagles]

I have a shower this weekend that requested a book in addition to the gift. The gift was already bought, wrapped, and sitting in my living room, so no book.