If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? If you grew up in a household with plenty of money, do you think that helped you and in what ways? How many siblings do you have? Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you?
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? Not at all How many siblings do you have? 2 younger siblings
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? We are at that point. We live in a HCOL area and were breaking even before i went back to work over the summer. DH is adamant that we will not add to our family if we can't afford the day to day of an additional child.
I grew up upper middle class. My dad worked and my mom stayed at home with me and my three brothers.
My parents' attitudes toward money management are different than mine, but I greatly benefited from the wealth of information available in their household. We had three newspapers delivered daily and I began reading The Wall Street Journal in elementary school. My dad had numerous books about money, economics, and investing, which I read at a young age.
Socially, I was/am surrounded by people who have means and are financially savvy. Seeing examples of success makes it more tangible and realistic, so my goals are likely reflective of that exposure.
Having two children appeals to me, which I think is attainable and will not be too much of a monetary strain. I'm more worried about finding someone to settle down with at this point, though, so I haven't put too much energy into worrying about the kids part yet.
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? No, I don't think it held me back. At the time, I didn't like when I had to worry about money, but truthfully it taught me a LOT about money management and some of my best and proudest memories are from times that I was working.
How many siblings do you have? One Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money. We were never to the point of having to worry about getting food on the table (at least that I knew of) but always had limited clothing and gift budgets. My brother and I both had to take out reasonable sums of student loans for college. We went to public schools and limited non-school-sponsored activities. Most of the reason we struggled at all is that my parents were divorced, my dad's child support was not a huge sum of money, and my mom made almost nothing at the time. "Plenty" of money, to me, would have meant I didn't have to work to have fun money or horseback riding lessons and would have had less in student loans from college.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? We're trying to decide this right now. We are paying off a modest debt amount (reasonable mortgage, half of my car's value, 2 reasonable student loans), saving a good amount, contributing adequately to retirement accounts, traveling annually. We are comfortable. If we have a 3rd, there will be 1-2 years of 3 needing childcare, and that expense would mean little or no travel, no debt payoff, and very little towards savings each month during that time. We need to decide if the temporary lifestyle changes are worth it to us (and not harmful to the kids) to have the third child we have been imagining.
I grew up in a very middle class setting. Dad worked, mom stayed at home, 3 kids. My parents were VERY conservative financially. I am thankful they set a good money matter example... although sometimes their ultra-cheapness has caused me to be more spendy. We have 1 child and are one and done. I say finances are part of the reason but we could afford more kids. I guess that is the "spendy" part of me where only having 1 child allows us to spend more on vacations and such.
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? In someways, yes. I was so debt adverse and paid for college myself, and I feel different choices about what I did in college (classes, internships, etc) if I hadn't been so afraid of the bottom falling out.
How many siblings do you have? 3
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money.
Savings maintained at a certain level after all the bills/retirement are paid.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. N/a
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? Not at all. In fact I think it inspired me to do well for myself and made me a survivor. H grew up with a lot of money and he's much less driven than I am, he thinks in part because he knew he would never starve. How many siblings do you have? 2
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money. Plenty of money to me means that there is a significant cushion leftover every month after the bills are paid.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? We've put off having kids in part because we wanted to be very financially secure before having them (though at this point we could easily afford 2-3 but just don't want to yet) but I think the tipping point for me would be when day care/tuition costs exceeded my monthly salary. I definitely want to keep working but wouldn't want to lose money to do so.
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? Eh, not really.
I commuted to a local state college and paid my own way through a scholarship/loans/working, because I felt bad about my parents paying for a more expensive school. They paid for my sister to go to a private school and she wound up dropping out (and it's caused some anger), and they also paid for my brother to get a degree from a private school. Some of that is still being paid off by all of them.
I'm doing OK, though ... I've always had a job, and I'm working alongside people who went to much pricier schools than me. I'm pretty mindful of what I spend and how much debt I have, and I've never really had a desire to live beyond my means. I don't have a desire to own fancy things - I can't stomach spending a lot of money for a bag or shoes, and I hate to think of that money wasted if the item gets ruined somehow. I try to plan ahead. I could do better at budgeting and avoiding CC use for stupid stuff, but it's never gotten out of control.
I think MH was really affected by how he grew up - his family never had much money, but their issue was to just put things on credit and worry about it later. Medical issues brought it all to a head one year, and things were scary for a while. It made a big impact on him, and it can be really frustrating to talk to him about money, even though we're doing OK and have no major concerns. The plus side is that he manages our budget and we're doing very well when it comes to savings and debt management, but the down side is that he tends to panic and blow things WAY out of proportion and when we hit a bump. I don't blame him for not wanting to go to a dark place again, but in the past he's had some trouble separating our situation from that of his parents. But he's gotten better about it, thank goodness.
How many siblings do you have?
I have 2. MH is an only child.
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money.
"Plenty," to me, is when you have enough money to pay your bills, have a decent savings fund, no big financial concerns ("How will we pay for X?" "If I/SO lose a job, we're completely screwed"), and do some fun things once in a while. I can spend money on eating out, a piece of clothing, or a trip, but I can't do it all the time. I have to pick and choose how to spend it. "Plenty" is when you'd be OK for a while if someone lost their job, but things might get tight after a little while.
"A lot of" money is when you don't have to think twice about many purchases and you don't have to prioritize when and how money can be spent. If I had "a lot of money," I wouldn't be very concerned if either of us lost our jobs. I could buy new clothes or shoes whenever I saw something nice, not just when it's really needed. I could have a fancy restaurant meal, or buy a really pricey ingredient, "just because."
I see "plenty of money" as the ability to treat yourself once in a while, and "a lot of money" as those "treats" being part of everyday life.
Post by onomatopoeia on Sept 29, 2014 12:02:01 GMT -5
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? Well, yes, but not in any "woe is me" sort of way. I'd probably drive a better car and live in a better house if I didn't have my student loans. I also didn't really get a sense of the possibilities that were "out there" for me career-wise, and I think a big part of that was because my parents didn't really view things as "attainable" for people like us (ie. kinda poor). My parents didn't teach me much about money management, but that could be true in a household of any income level.
How many siblings do you have? There are 5 kids total.
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money. Enough to pay the grocery/utility bills, and a mortgage on a safe and suitable home, and do fun things, and sign your kids up for lessons they want to take, and a little vacation every year, and money left over for an emergency fund and college savings and retirement.
Post by gogreengowhite on Sept 29, 2014 12:02:02 GMT -5
We were pretty poor in my early childhood but my dad worked his ass off in sales and is now VP of his company.
I think being poor at first helped my work ethic and need to save "just in case".
There were 4 kids in my family and my parents were able to pay for all of our college tuition due to the way they saved, stretched a dollar, etc.
We are done with 2 kids because daycare is $12k/year each and we just don't feel like we can take that on again for the next 5 years. Plus with only 2 we can almost guarantee to pay for their college educations.
I've never been poor, but I know we weren't always as well off as we were. There is a joke about generic soda and my dad buying clearance meat, but I think that more a function of his thrifty ways (he's been a coupon clipper since before I was born) vs. our financial picture.
My parents made sure to instill a sense of hardwork and ethic in us even with having luxuries. We didn't do a lot of big vacations, but we did lots of activities and had a live-in nanny for years b/c my parents worked full time. They taught us about budgeting and saving for the future.
I have one sister and she is a mess, but I don't think that's related to our upbringing, more her own issues.
We are only having 1 child. A lot of it is financial, but some of it is lifestyle. Two in daycare would be about $2k a month and that is something we have readily available. We would have to put a lot of goals on hold to have 2 children. Also DH was 40 when E was born. He didn't want to be grandpa/dad.
Post by LoveTrains on Sept 29, 2014 12:03:42 GMT -5
My family was upper middle class while growing up. I definitely benefitted from that. Both of my parents come from generations of college graduates, and it was always assumed that I would go to college. My parents are financially savvy and my father would read the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Barons, etc. He would talk to me about the stock market and made me open an IRA with my earnings from my high school job as a cashier at CVS. We took at least four trips to Europe before I graduated from high school. The first "disney" anything that my brother went to was Disneyland Paris. Looking back, I realize that these are things that might not be common in all families.
I have two siblings, so a family of five. While I make it sound above that my parents were rolling in it, they really weren't. I distinctly remember my Mom telling my dad that she overdrew the checking account on multiple occassions when I was a kid. She would call it "activating the write-a-loan." I think it was like a line of credit on their checking account. I know that they lived frugally and I was always told that we couldn't go out to dinner because we couldn't afford it. I was often told no and that we couldn't afford something when i wanted it.
Post by melmo1122 on Sept 29, 2014 12:03:50 GMT -5
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? no, not at all
How many siblings do you have? 3 sisters
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? I am planning to have a baby on my own. I am in a HCOL area so I will only be able to afford daycare for one child. I still want to be able to save for retirement and regular savings.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Sept 29, 2014 12:12:26 GMT -5
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all?
to a degree yes, we were a lower middle class single income household in a VERY VERY VERY affluent area. there were things that other kids were doing that there was NO way we could do too (enrichment activities, travelling sports teams). all 4 of us knew that there were no college savings so we braced ourselves for having to take out loans. we started working young - I was 12 when I started babysitting and 15 when I held my first real paying job- and that cut into my time to pursue other things simply bc if I wanted something, I had to pay for it. while we were exposed to a lot of things, we couldn't partake of much of it simply due to the money/time factor. I didn't do internships in college bc NO ONE in my family had done them and they couldn't bankroll me so I couldn't do an unpaid one .. looking back, an internship would have done wonders to my future career (instead of starting as a legal receptionist, I would have started off as a paralegal at practically DOUBLE the pay and only gone up from there).
when I was a senior in HS, typhoon divorce hit. that created its own set of problems (being forced into a JC bc the way FA rules were set up then, they DID count my dad's income even though he had moved out ) .. having to work to pay for school AND attend school .. lots of stressors in and of themselves.
If you grew up in a household with plenty of money, do you think that helped you and in what ways?
n/a
How many siblings do you have?
I'm the oldest of 4
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money.
a lot/plenty of money means that you have enough to save adequately for retirement and college savings concurrently wo have to pick one over the other; that home ownership is a reality not some lofty dream bc you don't have the means to save for the DP; you've got a solid e-fund and other savings accounts; yearly vacations and while you do have to worry a little about money, it doesn't consume you.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you?
when stxh lost his business - suddenly I was the SOLE earner ... we could barely afford dd let alone another - the thought of paying for 2 daycares (stbxh couldn't take care of the kids due to his back injury), 2 health ins premiums AND everything else .. if we were teetering on the edge w/ 1, 2 would have sent us over the edge.
I have 1 sibling. My sister was an oops and as far as I know my parents didn't want any more kids for non-financial reasons.
From the "Are you middle class?" thread it became evident that my perspective is skewed, so I will try to explain what my family was like. My dad was an engineer and my mom worked in healthcare (she did 3 days/wk for some period during my childhood). We lived in a suburb in a SFH with other working class families and we were financially secure. My dad in particular was extremely frugal, although I certainly had abundant toys and I was able to do gymnastics, ice skating, etc. I remember him being excited because they paid off the house when I was in middle school. They saved for our college (not enough to pay 100% but a really respectable amount especially for in-state tuition).
I'd like to provide a lifestyle for my kids similar to what I experienced. We are lucky that I don't think finances will be a factor for us in determining family size.
ETA: I think my parents did a great job. They were always very encouraging re: education and supported me in many ways, which absolutely made a difference for me and contributed to my eventual success. They were willing to drive me to a different high school so I could be in an advanced program (although I didn't end up doing it). College was always discussed as a where/what not as an if. I am very grateful.
Post by doobeedoo on Sept 29, 2014 12:22:56 GMT -5
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? Yes, and no. How's that for an answer? Yes, because I was not encouraged to go to college despite my brilliance. lol Mostly because of the fact that I would just "end up getting married and having kids". I did not have anyone to look up to career-wise, and so I never really had any kind of lofty ambition. I ended up going to college and paying for the vast majority of it on credit cards while working. Crazy. I guess we were lower middle class. But in many ways, I am grateful that nothing was ever handed to me on a platter--it shaped who I am.
If you grew up in a household with plenty of money, do you think that helped you and in what ways?
How many siblings do you have? 2 Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money. I am one of those $250k is not necessarily rich people. If you hear me say someone has a lot of money, that means the person can afford not to work and probably doesn't need to concern themselves with choices that everyone else has to make--vacation or a car this year?, for example. Comfortable means you can pay all the bills, have a few rugrats if you so desire and still have some of the finer things in life like annual vacations, decent cars, etc. But you still probably have to work and you always need to make choices most of the time. I know my definition is probably slightly skewed based on my own circumstances.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids.
At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? For me, daycare costs were huge when both of my kids were in it at the same time. If we had a third, something would have had to give, lifestyle-wise, and we weren't willing to make that sacrifice. I was also older when I started, so my window of opportunity was shorter than for some. If we had been younger, and more flexible, perhaps we would have gone for a 3rd. I am so glad we did not, though.
Post by delawarejen on Sept 29, 2014 12:24:19 GMT -5
I grew up middle-class - my parents both have college degrees (my dad's family was working class, my mother's was middle class), but with 7 people on one income we didn't have a lot of extras. My father was unemployed for a year or so when I was in middle school and it affected me deeply. It's a big reason why I'm concerned with living within my means and saving for emergencies.
I have 4 siblings.
I have no intention of having children. I do think I could afford one on my income.
Post by lauralala on Sept 29, 2014 12:28:04 GMT -5
I grew up in a family with upper-middle class income, earned by my dad at a very blue collar unionized job. My mom was a SAHM.
My parents were both born during the depression and grew up very, very poor (think picking cotton and no running water). They were spent money as soon as they had it. There was little to no saving, and although we were never in any danger of going hungry, there were a lot of times things were tighter than they should have been. For example, when the union went on strike for a summer, my dad (who was almost 60 at the time) had to get a job roofing to make ends meet. There was also no discussion of retirement savings, because he was counting on Navy retirement (was in for 20 years) plus a pension from the job he had while I was growing up.
For much of my life, I was exactly the same way - and so was DH. We are consciously working on these issues and are much better now. Hopefully we are setting a better example for DS.
How many siblings do you have? I am the 3rd of 5 total children.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? We are one and done because we never actually planned on having kids in the first place. We could realistically afford a 2nd child, but only having one will allow us to live in the part of town we prefer, travel more, etc.
I grew up in a household with not a lot of financial stability. My dad owned his own business and things were really good and really bad at various times.
I don't think this held me back at all. If anything, it lit a fire under me to be stable in ways my parents never were. I have worked since I was 14, started a Roth IRA in high school, and have generally made most decisions from a drive for financial peace and security.
This has allowed my DH to take some big risks in opening HIS own business, which is going extremely well.
We are light years ahead of where my parents were at our age, and even where they are today. They had lots of assistance (financially and with childcare) from my grandparents, which was priceless to them. They are incredibly loving and caring and were both around often when we were growing up, so I certainly don't fault them for the choices they made. They were very young parents and had not at all established careers yet before I was born.
I have one younger brother.
I have no idea at what point we will feel that we cannot add another child. We feel financially stable now, and I suppose will evaluate one child at a time?
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? A little. I'm sure I would have gotten better grades in college and graduate school if I hadn't had to work so much to pay for everything.
If you grew up in a household with plenty of money, do you think that helped you and in what ways? N/a
How many siblings do you have? 3
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money.
At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? I don't have any kids yet but I think the financial burden would be too great for us when accommodating an additional kids would require more sacrifices then we were willing to make in exchange for said child. I have no idea where that point would be for us though...
My family was middle class - probably solid or lower middle. My mom stayed home and my dad worked for the utility company, but thankfully got a lot of overtime which meant we never went without anything we needed, but definitely didn't do expensive travel or buy name brand clothing and my parents definitely had a budget they had to stick to. They paid for a chunk of college.
I never thought it affected me until I started posting on this board. I do think that had I gone to a better college, I would have had different opportunities than I have had with my crappy public college education (BTW not all public colleges are crappy, but mine was). My biggest issue is that I went to a little known school with limited internship and networking opportunities. I came out of school with no (relevant) work experience and essentially no connections to start my career. I think this did set me back, a lot. I can attribute my college choices to a combination of the fact that my parents couldn't pay to send me somewhere more expensive, and the fact that my parents (and most of my extended family) are not college educated and did not know how to provide me guidance on how to select a school that would give me opportunities for the sorts of connections that help. My family was just thrilled I was going to college and thought any college degree was a ticket to success.
I don't have kids, and probably won't, but if I did my choices would definitely be made with income in mind. Specifically, I would want to be able to send my kids to a good college and have enough money for them to do things like international travel and going away to summer camp if they are interested. I also would be limited by daycare expenses, which wasn't an issue for my parents since my mom SAH. I see no need to raise kids with iPhones and designer jeans, but there are certain things that enrich their lives (like travel) and set them up for success (like going to a good college) that I would rather be able to provide.
ETA: I also think needing to work during college limited my ability to get involved in certain things and take unpaid internships. Some of that was choice (i.e. I had an off campus apartment and stayed up at school over the summer vs. living on campus and coming home to a rent free place over the summer) but had my parents been able to financially support me throughout college I may have had a better resume to start out with.
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? If you grew up in a household with plenty of money, do you think that helped you and in what ways? How many siblings do you have? Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you?
Our home had 'plenty' of money - we had what we needed and a lot of what we wanted. My parents paid 100% of my college tuition out of the savings that they had accumulated. They always demonstrated sound fiscal spending/savings patterns. I know I lucked out having NO student loans, that definitely set me up to win later on.
I have 1 younger brother. He didn't go to college, I forget what they did with the $$ they saved for him... who knows.
We have 1 kid right now, and 1 more on the way. As it stands now I'm a SAHM, and the costs for #2 have been minimal (we have everything we need from #1). We won't have more kids, but that's because we only ever wanted 2 and we're older (36/43). It doesn't help that the idea of paying for college for 2 kids is terrifying...
I grew up in a household that was comfortable, but had to budget to be comfortable. This has not held me back but did teach me the value of money and the importance of budgeting. I have one sibling. We are only having one child because we are older parents. That baby is the center of our lives and we are loving every minute.
Post by shaynaatl on Sept 29, 2014 12:45:48 GMT -5
I grew up as an only child in a middle-class family. My parents were also very frugal. We lived in a small and basic 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom condo (they still live there). We rarely went out to eat and only went on a couple of vacations my entire childhood.
The nice thing about being an only child was that they were willing to pay tuition for any public or private college. So I was able to attend my dream school. If I had siblings, I probably would not have had that option.
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? No. I was able to graduate from college, get a job, and I am responsible with my money. If anything, I think I learned to work hard and make sure the bills were paid because it sucks when the electricity is turned off. I will say, though, that I never aimed to have a mansion or drive a super expensive car because they were so far outside of my realm that they didn't appeal to me. If I had grown up with more money and nicer things I think I might aim to have the kind of money that will provide those things because it is what I was used to. As is, I am living above what I had growing up and am ridiculously happy with it.
How many siblings do you have? 0
"Plenty of money"- I feel like having plenty of money means you live comfortably (whatever that means to you), pay bills without much concern, budget but don't freak out about a few pennies, and are able to put a little in savings each month/year. "A lot of money"- I think you get to this point when you are paying bills, spending on what you want (clothes, travel, cars, shoes, etc.) and not only necessities, and have no concern for a budget because you know there will always be more than enough money to support your lifestyle.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? We decided that we were done after our fourth. This is more for practicality and my sanity than it is for money. We are in a position where I can stay home with the kids so we don't have daycare costs. The first two kids were a hit to the pocketbook but #3 and #4 haven't changed our bottom line much. At this point it is formula and diapers as the main expenses because we have hand me down items from older children and the extra baby outfit from a trip to Target generally goes unnoticed.
Post by laurensmomma on Sept 29, 2014 12:59:01 GMT -5
I grew up in a household that had no debt other than the house. My parents didn't even have a credit card; all cars or other big purchases were paid for with cash. Because of this, I think I kind of went a little bit more crazy with money once I was making my own because I could have whatever I wanted. My parents never bought me name brand clothes, and everything was on the cheap, even though we didn't have to live that way. They believe in living below your means, which is fantastic.
Now that I'm a little bit older, I am getting much better about managing my money and ensuring that I don't live beyond my means. I think I still am a little looser with my money than my parents ever were, but they built a good foundation for me.
My husband and I have decided to be one and done. We cite financial reasons being part of it, but really, it's not because we can't afford another kid, it's that we wouldn't be able to afford the lifestyle we want to live and have another child, at least not for quite awhile. We are probably upper middle class right now.
Post by fortnightlily on Sept 29, 2014 13:18:16 GMT -5
We grew up 2 working parents (Mom went back to work part-time when we were 3.5, full-time when we were 10), 2 kids (twins), upper middle class. It absolutely helped. I still had to babysit and work summers if I wanted spending money, etc., but my parents paid for my college so I never had student loans, and I'm still driving my mom's old car so I've never had a car payment -- both which have given me a huge leg-up when it came to building up savings as a young adult and being able to buy a house, etc.
I feel like child care, housing, and education are far more expensive relative to incomes than when we were growing up, though.
I'm not sure I want more than 1 kid for reasons that are only partly financial. But we probably could afford 2 without a dramatic change to our lifestyle after the first few tight daycare years. More than 2 and we'd be really strapped, and neither of us wants to SAH.
I'm not sure how to answer...I grew up going to the Country Club, in private school & spending the summer traveling or at our vacation home. But my parents never had "plenty" of money-/they fought constantly about money & spent every damn cent (no savings, often in the red with no/little consequence that I know of because my Dad was a Bank Executive high up the food chain) until my Mom went back to work. My mom "kept" all her money (no bill paying for example) so she saved, bought fine art, real estate & grew to have quite a few assets.
There are 5 kids in my family. We all are highly educated (6 Bachelors, 2 Masters, a Doctorate & a PhD in progress) despite no real college help from parents & doing fine in adulthood. I feel like nothing held me back from accomplishing what I sought out.
I have 4 kids and we are doing much better than my parents in some ways (savings, no fighting) but we don't live quite the lifestyle (mainly due to the fact we're in a big city where things are much pricier) & have gotten several more breaks than they ever did through real estate mostly. We could swing 1-2 more kids with little issue but I'm too burnt out & old. When/if I go back to work, all my money will be extra too though I hope it's not as adversarial as my parents were. We'll see how it plays out because a lot is up in the air still.
If you grew up in a household without a lot of money, do you think it has held you back in life at all? To some degree yes--I didn't learn good habits, and I didn't get a helping hand with some basics (e.g. no first car, was expected to go to college but had zero savings for it, no assistance available for moving somewhere for my first job). Paying for these things plus not knowing how to handle money/debt set me up for a lot of mistakes that still haunt me 15yrs later; that said I could have learned my own lesson a lot earlier too and I feel 100% responsible for where I am right now
How many siblings do you have? 1 older brother
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money. I think we make 'plenty' of money as a couple at this point, but our debts really impact our ability to use it properly. Once we move past those (late 2015/2016), we should be in a position to save for emergencies, save for vacations, afford clothes and 'extras' on a regular basis. For us, right now plenty of money means we don't have to panic over an extra $50 or $100 unplanned expenses.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you? we can't afford a second car right now; there's no way I'd risk having a second child. There's no way to magically find an extra $900/mo for infant daycare in our budget, and we absolutely need both of our incomes to cover our current bills. Put aside the happier idea of taking our son on vacations, having him sign up for activities, etc; if we had a child with any medical issues it would be an absolute hardship. It's simple the mature, responsible answer for our entire family's well-being.
Post by badtzmaru22 on Sept 29, 2014 14:03:07 GMT -5
If you grew up in a household with plenty of money, do you think that helped you and in what ways?
Yes, I think it helped me. I grew up knowing I'd go to college, and probably not have to worry about paying for it. My parents were really good with money and savings, but also good at teaching us the value of money. They never just gave us fun money in HS - we had to have jobs and babysit or do extra chores around the house to earn it. I think the biggest thing that helped me was my dad starting a Roth IRA for me. There were more than a few years during the recession where DH and I were unemployed or underemployed, and weren't able to save for retirement. This IRA is the thing that makes me feel like we aren't behind on our savings now.
How many siblings do you have?
3
Feel free to elaborate on your definition of "a lot of" or "plenty" of money.
My mom was a SAHM from the time my older brother was born until my younger sister was in middle school. We took big vacations every year, and never worried about money. In high school, I thought my parents were really cheap, but I never really had to worry about anything. Looking back, my parents were just really good at making us not feel like we were owed things, or had a huge sense of entitlement. There were some things I look back on now, and think, wow, they were really cheap in X instance, and maybe shouldn't have been, and sometimes I was embarrassed about it... I'm thinking specifically about shoes for cheerleading and other sports. Like, if we didn't have to buy a specific shoe, my mom just bought the absolute cheapest thing, or if something was optional like spikes for track, we just went without until we could convince her those weren't really optional. But in the grand scheme of things, I was fine, and knew we were upper middle class.
A lot of people (in MMM) responded in a thread last week that for financial reasons, they won't have any more kids. At what point is the financial burden of another child too much to bear for you?
We aren't as well off as my parents were, and things just cost more now as well, and salaries haven't matched. I mentioned earlier we both spent a lot of time unemployed or underemployed early in our marriage. We also have long commutes, and gas costs nearly $4 a gallon now. It's just a different world. My dad worked for the same company for his whole career, and got annual raises and things like that. I've been out of college for ten years now, and make $4k more than my first job out of college, and DH makes less than his first job. The longest either of us has been at a professional job is me, going on five years with my current company. We also live 6-7 hours from our families now, so we don't really vacation except to see them. Things are really going to be tight with two in daycare, and there's no way we could pay for three.
There are lots of reasons why we probably won't have a third, but finances matter more. We didn't take permanent BC measures, in case we do win the lottery or something else in our financial situation changes in the next few years. If finances weren't an issue, we would at least want the option to decide to ttc again or not.