CNN: A fat girl gets naked

[Kattey]

I read this yesterday, it kinda brought me to tears. I understand filling the void with food and how it's a vicious cycle. And I get rationalizing your weight. I was out with a couple friends a week ago, both of these girls are petite and thin. All of us are married, so not interested in any dudes at the club. My friends were getting hit on and after the guys got shot down and left, I made the comment about how being fat has it advantages, like not getting unwanted attention from men when I'm out with better looking (slimmer) friends. Realized later how messed up that comment was.

[wrathofkuus]

All her problems are how other people treat her. Every last one of them. She doesn't have a problem to solve - we as a society do.

[LoveTrains]

But its not Fat Tuesday!

In all seriousness, I can 100% relate to her.

[katietornado]

Sept 29, 2014 12:41:33 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

All her problems are how other people treat her. Every last one of them. She doesn't have a problem to solve - we as a society do.

Hmm, no.  Replace "food" with "meth" in this piece, and everyone would have a problem with it.  This seems like an unbelievably fucked up relationship with food.

[LoveTrains]

Sept 29, 2014 13:22:42 GMT -5 katietornado said:

Sept 29, 2014 12:41:33 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

All her problems are how other people treat her. Every last one of them. She doesn't have a problem to solve - we as a society do.

Hmm, no.  Replace "food" with "meth" in this piece, and everyone would have a problem with it.  This seems like an unbelievably fucked up relationship with food.

And probably one that hundreds of thousands of people have. But when we say we need help, we are told we are fat and lazy and need better willpower. 

[stealthmom]

Sept 29, 2014 13:22:42 GMT -5 katietornado said:

Sept 29, 2014 12:41:33 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

All her problems are how other people treat her. Every last one of them. She doesn't have a problem to solve - we as a society do.

Hmm, no.  Replace "food" with "meth" in this piece, and everyone would have a problem with it.  This seems like an unbelievably fucked up relationship with food.

yeah. I think it's way too simplistic to blame this only on how society treats her. For sure it only makes it worse. Fat shaming by definition just makes you feel less worthy, human, confident. Nothing about it is helpful.

But based on what she has told us and my own experience, I doubt very much the cause of her issues are that simple.

I know I was fat long before I was ever shamed for it.

[elleblue]

I think the most difficult thing about food addiction is that you can't completely cut out what it is you're addicted to. Drugs, alcohol, gambling are all things that can be abstained from, but no one can go without food/sustenance of some kind. So it's incredibly hurtful when society treats food addiction as if it's only a matter of willpower. It's much more complex than that and each person who struggles with their weight does so because of unique and complicated reasons. 

[orangeblossom]

Sept 29, 2014 15:22:57 GMT -5 elleblue said:

I think the most difficult thing about food addiction is that you can't completely cut out what it is you're addicted to. Drugs, alcohol, gambling are all things that can be abstained from, but no one can go without food/sustenance of some kind. So it's incredibly hurtful when society treats food addiction as if it's only a matter of willpower. It's much more complex than that and each person who struggles with their weight does so because of unique and complicated reasons. 

This.

You never hear anyone say to someone who's struggled with drugs or alcohol to just have some in moderation.  It's generally, no drugs or alcohol.

With food, you're always hearing about moderation and alternatives to "bad" food, so you don't necessarily have to overcome the original craving.

I love white carbs and sugar, and can go awhile without, but then when I get some, sometimes I stop at one, other times I don't, but I have not made a commitment to not eat them at all.  

The only person I know that doesn't indulge in sweets, that really enjoys them, is a friend who's been a recovering alcoholic for over thirty years, as well as eating disorders.  She just simply doesn't indulge and knows her triggers.  Everyone else is on and off.

I know completely eliminating a food from of your diet can be done, but it's hard and so much more than what people "assume" you should be doing.

[felicia]

I could have written this.

[wrathofkuus]

But it didn't sound like an addiction, really. She enjoys eating. She enjoys it a lot. And when she's feeling shitty emotionally, she does something she enjoys.

Sure, if you replace it with meth, we'd all say it's a problem. But if you replace it with exercise, we'd all be praising her for her healthy habits and coping mechanisms. It matters what the comfort is.

[wrathofkuus]

By that definition, reading is an addiction.

[wrathofkuus]

You are saying that anything you enjoy, that lights up pleasure centers in your brain, that you turn to for comfort, is an addiction. That could be food, sure, or reading, or hanging out with friends. It's the same damn thing; we only call it an addiction when it has a socially unaccepted result like fatness.

[stealthmom]

Sept 29, 2014 23:56:11 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

By that definition, reading is an addiction.

sure. In the same way gaming or gambling or shopping or exercise are addictions for some. If it dominates your life, hurts you, keeps you from enjoying other facets of life, it doesn't matter what it is. It's harmful.

In this case this thing you say she "enjoys" will take her to an early grave if she does not stop. Call it an addiction or don't but overeating and lack of exercise can kill you. She doesn't want that to happen to her and I don't blame her.

[wawa]

Sept 30, 2014 0:09:59 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

You are saying that anything you enjoy, that lights up pleasure centers in your brain, that you turn to for comfort, is an addiction. That could be food, sure, or reading, or hanging out with friends. It's the same damn thing; we only call it an addiction when it has a socially unaccepted result like fatness.

No we call it an addiction when you can't stop at will, and your need to do the thing you're addicted to interferes with the rest of your life.