Tux and I broke up...for good

[mcc]

This sucks. I knew something was up because he was weird this weekend when I was home--slow to answer texts or calls and it just felt off. Tonight he came to my house which was also weird because I always go there. We had dinner and I had to bring it up. I said something like, "This isn't working out is it?" and we talked. He said he spent the weekend with friends (his good friends who I love who are like surrogate parents) and thinking a lot about our previous conversations about expectations and trust and other issues. His friends told him to be honest with himself and with me. He can't give me what I need and deserve. He's a self-described "old dog" and he's not going to change. 

I knew this. We talked about how if we keep doing this for 3-4 more months, it could be fun, but that we might end up hating each other and that we should stop while we still like each other considering the issues are already present. I'm sad but relieved. I was so tired of waiting to hear from him, knowing that he doesn't have the connection to communicate with me like I need him to, among other things. I told him that I was sick of dating people who aren't good for me solely as a means of protecting myself from finding someone good for me and opening myself up to vulnerability. He was one of those people--I knew we would never get married but it was fun. He is fun. We both cried.

We will remain friends. He's taking my AC out on Wednesday and bringing me to LL Bean for boots at some point. I joked that I'm now going to date all of nice men he introduced me to. I'm really going to miss nightly dinners and cuddling with him though. This sucks. It's for a best but it really sucks. I want to go to work in sweat pants tomorrow. 

[peppermint]

I'm sorry. Doing what's best for yourself is tough. I'm glad you guys handled this in an adult way and hopefully will remain friends. Hugs.

[lookingup]

I'm sorry, mcc. I offer lots of hugs and hair pats.

[1confused1]

Huge huge hugs.

I'm about to do the same with M and I am so sad about it. I wish you luck with the friendship, that seems like it will be hard to keep up.

[moonlight]

Huge hugs. It's not easy even if you know it's the best thing. I'd totally have you over for a glass of wine right now.

[mcc]

Thanks. I have plans to get dinner/drinks with a girlfriend tomorrow so hopefully that will help. Looks like I'm going to have to start grocery shopping again--ugh, he's such a good cook!

[Deleted]

 Sorry to hear that.

[achase123]

I'm so sorry

[glitzyglow]

Aw, I'm sorry. Big hugs!

[athena3210]

I'm sorry

[sweetchix]

I'm sorry mcc. (((Hugs)))

[verycontrary247]

I'm sorry

I don't think I could handle remaining friends. That's a huge mindfuck.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

I'm sorry to hear this, mcc. That's so tough. Be kind to yourself.

[Eureka1984]

I am so sorry mcc. ((Hugs))

[mcc]

Thanks again everyone. I slept well last night but woke up with big puffy eyes from crying before bed. I know I'll be fine, it's just the gravity of dealing with expectations now. I was always being let down (either by my own self looking for things or by a disconnect between me and Tux) and now I have to deal with the fact that the plans that I was always thinking "will this really happen?" won't happen. Dumb I know, but what about the big winter gala that he throws every year? I know I'll be invited--do I go? I need to get my laundry detergent back from him that I left in his basement and other things I left there. I still want to go apple picking at his CTO's house in Maine but that's not going to happen, is it? Sigh...

In other news, I'm making sure to wear a cute outfit today to put some pep in my step. Also coffee, lots of coffee

[liubot]

Sorry, lady

[Deleted]

I'm sorry. And agree that sometimes even the best decisions produce crappy situations for a little while. (Hugs)

[prettyinpearls]

I'm sorry, mcc. However, it does sound like things ended as well as they possibly could've, given the situation. I'm glad you were able to finally put it all out there and stop before things got too complicated. ((hugs))

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Dude, that sucks. I'm sorry.

[achase123]

I'm so sorry. I hate waking up feeling sad. Big hugs.

[mcc]

Sept 30, 2014 7:42:22 GMT -5 achase123 said:

I'm so sorry. I hate waking up feeling sad. Big hugs.

I woke up feeling fine but thinking about it now is bumming me out. I need more blush--I look dead

[gozf]

I'm really sorry, mcc.

[becwheat]

I am sorry. It was a very mature decision, but I know it sucks. ((hugs))

[kitkat1502]

Sept 30, 2014 7:55:12 GMT -5 mcc said:

Sept 30, 2014 7:42:22 GMT -5 achase123 said:

I'm so sorry. I hate waking up feeling sad. Big hugs.

I woke up feeling fine but thinking about it now is bumming me out. I need more blush--I look dead

Hugs. Enjoy your plans with your friend tonight. :drink:

[cuddlyevil]

I'm sorry mcc. I hope your friend perks you up a bit.

[peppermint]

Sept 30, 2014 6:29:16 GMT -5 mcc said:

Thanks again everyone. I slept well last night but woke up with big puffy eyes from crying before bed. I know I'll be fine, it's just the gravity of dealing with expectations now. I was always being let down (either by my own self looking for things or by a disconnect between me and Tux) and now I have to deal with the fact that the plans that I was always thinking "will this really happen?" won't happen. Dumb I know, but what about the big winter gala that he throws every year? I know I'll be invited--do I go? I need to get my laundry detergent back from him that I left in his basement and other things I left there. I still want to go apple picking at his CTO's house in Maine but that's not going to happen, is it? Sigh...

In other news, I'm making sure to wear a cute outfit today to put some pep in my step. Also coffee, lots of coffee

Werk, gurl. Take extra good care of yourself right now - you deserve it!

[LoveBug]

Im really sorry. I'm glad he was honest with you and I hope you guys can remain friends. Hugs.

[locarb]

((hugs)). I know it hurts and it's tough. I praise you for the mature approach. I hope your friendship continues to thrive.

[tiffany81]

I'm sorry. ((hugs))

[TEM325]

I'm sorry, MCC. I know it's cliche to say it's for the best, but it really is. Chin up. Hair pats and hugs!