Toddler sleep help + potty training, new bebe

[badtzmaru22]

Any advice for how to deal with a toddler who sleeps worse than a two month old? DD is 2.5 and pretty much potty trained during the day - basically no accidents, but she wears a diaper or pull up for naptime at daycare and at bedtime. Lately though, she has been waking up at night. Sometimes, there is a reason - like this morning when she came in and jumped on me at 4am to tell me she had to go potty. She went, and then went back to sleep just fine. But sometimes she just wakes up to whine, or she wakes up waaaay too early and won't go back to sleep. I don't know if this is just a normal phase, but I can't help but think part of it is adjusting to the new baby. She was in her big girl bed long before DS came along, and she was sleeping just fine, so the waking up thing is new- or at least waking me up when she wakes up is. 

So for the potty training, what should we do? She is totally capable of going #1 all by herself. Would you just tell her she can go by herself, and have her yell if she needs help? Would you put a little potty in her room? I see that leading to more disasters though - playing, knocking it over, otherwise not sleeping. 

And the jealousy thing - she wants to be ALL OVER ME when DS is eating (BF). She gets really clingy at times as well, and won't let DH help when he's home. Right now, we are both here in the mornings, since I'm on ML for 2.5 more weeks, and then all day/night on weekends. DH works 2nds, so I'm home with both kids by myself at bedtime during the week. It never fails that as soon as I sit down to feed DS, DD needs to go potty, and needs help. She does actually go when this happens, so whether the timing is just poor or she saves it up until DS wants to eat is not clear. Any advice or commiseration on this? We have been watching select episodes of Daniel Tiger... lol.

I try to get her lights out by 8, but sometimes we are up for another hour or more with potty trips and other stalling behaviors. Sometimes, the timing works out where DS will take a quick nap, or be otherwise chill while I get DD down... sometimes not so much. I feel like I'm dealing with this as well as I can, but I just wanted to give a better picture of how our evenings tend to go down. I'm trying to figure out if there is anything else I can do with DD to try to have some special time together, so she doesn't feel neglected since I HAVE to spend so much time with DS. 

Sorry this is long and all over the place. I'm just cranky because of the lack of sleep, and it's not even due to the baby! I hate getting so frustrated with DD as well, and I'm really trying to keep calm. 

[badtzmaru22]

Bumping this for the night crowd. Not sure if I didn't articulate this well, or if everyone was catching up on the ML drama this morning.

Basically, I have a 2.5 year old who is waking up at night to get my attention. I think maybe when she woke up at night before DS was born, she put herself back to sleep- or maybe she wasn't waking up at all. Now she shouts until I go get her, or just comes into our room to wake me up. It's jealousy combined with potty training, and I'm wondering what I can do when I'm alone with the kids and they both want me.

[greycat]

I only have one child but I remember people mentioning that they had a special basket of toys / books / crafts that they pull only when they are BFing.

[Sloane]

I feel you, I have a 2 year old DD and DS is coming up on 3 months. DD hasn't exhibited a lot of jealousy at all though, but I get trying to balance my day so I get one on one time with both of them. DD also picks out clothes for DS, helps me bathe him, etc., so it feels more like she's part of a bigger "us" than just DS versus her. She's definitely had more iPad time, I sit with her while I nurse DS and talk about what she's watching. I also wear DS a lot and DD and I go for walks and coffee "dates" while he's sleeping in the carrier - just makes it feel like us time. I'm on my own a lot too as DH works crazy hours so it's been hard to juggle the needs of both, sometimes I feel like DS gets several 2 minute feeds in an hour because DD needs something. Somedays flow and DS sleeps when I need to bath DD or she happily plays and I can hang with DS and sometimes both cry more than I would like because they have to wait for what they need. I would just be consistent with potty training and sleeping and soon everyone will get into a new groove. I was killing myself trying to ensure DD's world didn't change while trying to give DS all the same time I had with DD - it doesn't work that way.

[teatimefor2]

I have no words of wisdom, but hugs. It will get better.

[ohmygoodness]

My DS is three and went through a sleep regression phase over the summer. Fortunately p, it was prior to DD's birth, but he was upset about going to sleep, clingy, didn't want to be left alone, would wake up and cry, would be up for the day way early. Luckily it seemed to pass on its own.

As far as potty issues, I don't have any real advice because our recent attempt at potty training failed. DS is a potty avoider, however lately immediately after his last good night kiss as we close the door he says he has to go. The first time I was like, yes! Let's go! Then we caught on -delay tactic! But your DD actually goes potty, so that's in chartered territory for me.

[spanikopita]

My son did this after his sister was born. It was an attention thing. I made H deal with his night wakings.

[cep1976]

This all sounds like normal adjustment to me. We have a newly potty trained 27 month old and a 4 week old, and pretty much the exact same things going on. Like, the 2 year old was up from 2 to 6 the other night. She hasn't done that since she was a newborn. We're pretty much just waiting it out and I try to give the older one as much one on one time with me as possible.

[Deleted]

J went through a period of time where he was waking up a lot and/or having trouble falling asleep at night after the girls were born. We ended up having to leave his door open for him to fall asleep. I think he just wanted to be a part of everything that was going on and closing the door made him feel separated.

He is potty trained but not at night and still in his crib so I don't have advice on that part. But, I would probably just tell her she can go on her own and to yell if she needs help.

As for breastfeeding, I used to read to J while I nursed (provided I wasn't tandem feeding both girls). But if I was nursing one I was able to hold and read a book. Sometimes I just had him help turn the pages. He loves books and again, it made him feel involved in what was going on.

But overall, I think it will probably just take some time. She is likely just adjusting to the new baby and night time stalling etc. Is a guaranteed way to get attention so I think it's pretty common.