Alone with the kid(s)

[unclejesse]

How often are you by yourself with the littles?  I feel like there are quite a few whose husbands work long hours or are away on work trips pretty often.  How are you managing?


MH has been putting in an average of 12-14 hour days, 7 days a week for the last month.  He sometimes makes it home in time for bedtime, but not often.  The past few days he was home with us for breakfast, for about 30 minutes.  A and I have a pretty effective routine, when it doesn't get screwed up.  Some days I find myself trying to send mental waves to MH to come home.  But overall we are surviving pretty well, we have a hot dinner, generally clean, and have clean clothes.  Note I didn't say they were folded

[fusion]

with H's new job he is usually out the door in the morning before they wake up and gets home around 5:45-6, which leaves about an hourish. We eat and he gives bath and puts J&A to bed. He'll also be travelling now. My first week alone with all three will be in 2 weeks Not looking forward to soloing it the whole week.

[devonpow]

Meeeeee!!!!!

DH is still at work as we speak. He usually is home post bed time. Although having a. 7 year old makes things easier. Wrangling a toddler and a baby is a whole different game . The only thing I hate is bath/shower time by myself

[betsyray]

I think it's definitely possible to be functional with a H that works long hours but being happy about it is another story.

Mine works 12-16 hour days. He's a consultant. Some is done on site, some from home but he's equally unavailable. There's some travel, lots of late nights with meetings and business dinners.

We have a good routine but I HATE doing bath time alone. We only have a stall shower in the hall bath and neither like to stay in it.

[carawestt]

A lot. My H works decent hours most of the time but I'm still stuck with both kids by myself a lot. It gets hard, especially having Calvin being so clingy. I loathe bed and naptime.

[honeybee503]

Four days a week I am alone with them except for the 2 hours my H is awake, which is conveniently during double nap time.

We have a nice schedule worked out. We go to my parent's house for dinner at least one night so that's one less meal I have to cook. The hardest part is doing the nights alone. If they are both up I know I won't get any sleep because I am the only one there to deal with it and that can really suck. My H works 12 hour nights with 1 hour of travel both ways.

[spaghetticat]

I'm alone with them half the week, but now that I'm back at work, it's different. Nap/bed time is my least favorite time of the day because it's difficult to get one down with the other one needing attention. I try to prepare as much stuff as possible when mh is around.

[claralou]

All the time. But I only have 1 kid, and a nanny during work hours. Bedtime really blows lately though.

[bean47]

It's a little different for me due to H's sxhedule. I'm alone with them for long chunks (24 hours) but only 2-3 times a week. My H works 2, 24 hour shifts per week and typically picks up one overtime shift a week if he can. Although he's home 4 days a week those 24 hours by myself are really long.

[silverjm]

It's just L and me most evenings, but I work full time, and he's with H every morning, so not really the same thing. But bedtime is all me all the time, even when H is home, just to maintain the routine.

[Deleted]

My husbands only day off is Saturday. The rest of the week he works 10-12 hour days. Add a commute an hour each way. Most days Brady doesn't get to see him but maybe an hour. Some days not at all. So it's just the 3 of us all the freaking time

[Deleted]

Dh worked 7 days per week besides holidays until this year. Now, he normally gets one day off per week, but not always. His day off is on work phone calls a lot. William has never had a babysitter so I'm pretty much always with William besides the one or two haircuts I get per year sort of thing. Oh, and a dental cleaning. So exciting!! I'm used to it now. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2014 18:23:47 GMT -5 silverjm said:

It's just L and me most evenings, but I work full time, and he's with H every morning, so not really the same thing. But bedtime is all me all the time, even when H is home, just to maintain the routine.

This is us exactly.

[Deleted]

My h has been home for bedtime once in the last two weeks. It's rough.

[TrudyCampbell]

I'm alone with the kids all of the time during the week. Violet has 3.5 afternoons a week with our nanny, but I still have Ruby. I hate it and it's one of the reasons I feel like I can't handle any more children. When he travels for business, I do really well for 1-2 days and then I basically completely fall apart. I am always sitting in my perfectly clean apt at the end of the first night and thinking "damn, I'm awesome!" and then 2 days later I'm texting him and begging him to come home.

[teamhayes]

Just 3 nights a week and every weekend fir about 5-6 hours 

[rjamz]

H leaves early and comes home late (though this week he's on a very easy service and has been coming home early). I do ok, but it's hard and I cry a lot by the end of the week. The weekends he works (which is most weekends) are the hardest bc everyone is out doing things as a family and it's just another day for us.

ETA: also, we're in a new city with no extra support. So, tears. Preschool 2 mornings a week has been a godsend.

[bigapple]

I'm away at work all day, so I get my break there, but I'm home alone with C a lot at night. My husband usually travels 1-2 weeks a month, and he works late or has work dinners 2-3 nights a week. I work late one night, so we rarely see each other midweek.

[Na]

Most of the time. H travels frequently so there is that. When he is home he stays with A while I work two mornings and one afternoon a week, so those days he works past bedtime to get his hours in. We do okay. It is hard for me to cook when he ia traveling so I try and make a few things the day before he leaves. Bedtime alone sucks.

[kkfeb04]

All the time but I also work full-time so I'm not alone with them full time but when I'm not working I am with them, I don't get any breaks, I lie I get that 5 minutes between punching out and pick them up. H has two days off during the week and works weekends, I'm off weekends. He finally got down to 10 hour days but he still has a 50 minute commute each way. We see each other about 10 waking hours a week.

We manage and survive. I love nap time. I sometimes wish that there was family within a 100 mile radius so that those errands that I know would only take 15 minutes tops wouldn't be an hour ordeal with the two of them with me. Sometimes, not all the time and frankly, I wonder about myself when I think it would be nice for family to be close.

[Beener]

My husband's hours are highly variable because he is in medical sales and his schedule depends on what surgeries are scheduled at the various hospitals he works at. He is out of the house either at 5:00 (which leaves me alone to get the kids packed up and ready by myself) or he heads out the door with me at 6:00 a.m. Some days he picks the kids up from my MILs and other days he has dinners with the doctors or journal club with residents and he won't be home until well after the kids are in bed. Those days are long. If Luke is in a good mood, it goes by just fine but if he's fussy, I'm ready to lose my mind.

[muppetinma]

Meeeeeeeee. On a good week, DH will see him 10-15 minutes in the evening before bed Monday-Saturday, then most of the day on Sunday. On a bad week, DH who?

[laurack]

Not much, Tuesday nights he leaves at 7pm to go to trivia so I do bedtime alone. It's getting easier as William gets more predictable

Twice I think so far he has left for one night/day one of those times it was most of both weekend days and I struggled.

He has them alone more than me generally because he gets up with them and brings them to daycare. I usually am gone by 7, she is up soon after and he drops them off at 845

[laurack]

In the spring he will have a few business trips probably and I'm already dreading it. But I think as William gets older it will get easier ...

[tuck]

Well, I'm not alone with them for about 3-4 hours a day. Or, DH is home and awake for about 3-4 hours a day. He tries to be fully present on Saturdays, though he has to work on Sundays about half the time.

I do all the night time parenting, unless it involves barf. If someone barfs, then we both have to handle it.

ETA: He is able to spend about an hour and a half with the kids most days. 

[formerlyllizzyb]

Managing much, much better than I used to. I think a lot of that has to do with G's age. It's so much easier to be by myself with him at this age than say 8 months. We go places easily, do activities, and there's always tv  

I don't love 14 hour days, but it is what it is. H's job allows me to stay home and us to live comfortably. He does have the random weekday off at times and that's a nice perk.

I think I'm just used to it now. We'll see how that changes with another baby. Thankfully, Jan-MarchMarch is the slowest time of year for him.

[AndyCohen]

I don't know what I would do if H worked on the weekends. I mean, in the office. He works, but its just on his laptop at home. Since he's been sick he's been coming home earlier around 7:30, sometimes 7:00! But this past month has been crazy so its back to 8:15 or 8:30. He's been taking Audrey to school twice a week though and that's awesome.

[formerlyllizzyb]

I forgot to answer the how often question. It's really hard to answer, because surgery is so unpredictable. For example, he leaves the house at 6:15 or 6:30 on clinic days, and is normally home by 6. But if a patient comes into the ER, or falls and breaks a hip, well, it's surgery immediately after clinic for him. Surgeries on OR days can always run long, too. He also rounds every Saturday morning, and can have to go in for various reasons. Thankfully, he and his boss don't take as much call as they used to.

He has probably 2-3 oot conferences a year. 

We are entering busy season, so ill be single parenting more until the end of the calendar year. 

[badgermom]

It varies . H does travel for work, but a lot less than he did pre kids ( he was gone most weeks M-R ). It's better during the school year when I'm at work. During the summer, his work trip days were long! I can't complain, because I know how much worse it wouldn't if he were still in his old position .

[creamsiclechica]

We're in a very good place right now, so I can't complain too much, but the honeymoon is almost over. He's going to school the end of this month for 3 weeks and I'll be alone. And then later in between the move and here, I'll be in Pennsylvania again with them alone for 3 weeks.

When he goes back to the line in HI, he will be on call 24 hours of everyday, and at work for 16 hour days, 5 days a week. And mandatory training in the field that varies between 1 to 4 weeks. Before kids when he was a platoon sergeant, he came home, ate, slept immediately after. I am dreading it.

I will be crying with you guys! And asking you all for all the tips for survival.