It was mentioned earlier that I could post my cover letter and resume here in order to get some feedback. I believe I've gotten all pertinent info out of it. I think attaching both as PDFs will be easiest.
Post by whattheheck on Oct 1, 2014 21:28:53 GMT -5
Under current job - some of the bullet points have periods and some don't. Can you drop "a" from introduced a new calendar system? I don't know what this is called - but for lack of better terminology - I prefer first person verbs - like "Assist with," "Train library staff," etc. Maybe spell out "Administrative" instead of "Admin"?
Under old job - does "floating" need to be in quotations? Do you want to add the word "meeting" after "circulation committee"? shelved books as "need" - should be "needed" maybe just trained "new employees" - unless it's not implied they were library employees?
Good luck!
Awards: maybe rephrase as "2014-15 Louise . . . Scholarship recipient"? Is "recipient" necessary?
Under current job - some of the bullet points have periods and some don't. Can you drop "a" from introduced a new calendar system? I don't know what this is called - but for lack of better terminology - I prefer first person verbs - like "Assist with," "Train library staff," etc. Maybe spell out "Administrative" instead of "Admin"?
Under old job - does "floating" need to be in quotations? Do you want to add the word "meeting" after "circulation committee"? shelved books as "need" - should be "needed" maybe just trained "new employees" - unless it's not implied they were library employees?
Good luck!
Awards: maybe rephrase as "2014-15 Louise . . . Scholarship recipient"? Is "recipient" necessary?
Should I just drop the word recipient completely?
Floating is in quotations because it was sort of a weird position. It was created for me in order to get a promotion, but there weren't any open positions at the time. So I floated between all of the branches until the permanent position at my branch was created, and then I dropped the "floating" portion of the title. Is there a better way to phrase that?
You want your resume to show that you have a track record of accomplishments. It's not supposed to be just a compilation of all of your job descriptions. So go through and bring your actual accomplishments to the top under each job and reword as necessary to make it read more like a brag list.
For example, you mention that you're responsible for working with your company's websites and social media. Do you have any information regarding number of hits to these sites, or increase in web traffic after you took over? This type of information would be really helpful to show a potential employer not just that you're capable of doing something, but that you rocked it. Rather than saying that you were just a floater, explain that you worked in various positions to gain experience for Y promotion.
I've never seen a resume written in the third person verb tense. I would change everything to the first person because this tense sounds a little more dynamic when describing achievements (and because while I want my resume to stick out, I don't want it to be for using a non-standard verb tense).
Proofread. You have periods after some of your bullet points but not all of them and you're using two different types of hyphens between dates. This shows a lack of attention to detail. Shortening words like "admin" is too informal for a resume.
Without knowing the job description, it's hard to critique a cover letter. My biggest take away is that "My employer doesn't have a mobile app" sounds super awkward. I'm guessing they were looking for experience in mobile apps? There are times when you need to specifically address experience that you don't have in your cover letter, but this isn't it and this wasn't the way to do it - your cover letter would have come off stronger if you'd discussed your current employer less and instead focused on the experience you do have and how it relates to the job you're applying for. Finally, if the position would have required relocation to another city, definitely address that in your cover letter next time.
I'm certainly not an expert, and I don't know your industry. But when I glance over your resume, I see too many "assists". Even if you are not in charge, I think you should try to represent that you took the lead a little more. Even if you just dropped the word assist and said "maintain social media ...."
Agree with others that you seem to be just listing your job description, so flesh out the accomplishments a little more.
Post by polarbearfans on Oct 2, 2014 9:12:47 GMT -5
It needs to be cut down more. A resume should highlight your accomplishments, not list out normal expected job duties. I would not read all that as a hiring manager.
Thanks! I'm definitely looking for a way to condense it, but have been afraid I would leave a minute detail out that should be assumed given the field (for example, checking books in and out is a basic library function that you'd think every person working in a library would know, but I doubt that's the case and I don't want to look like I am missing that. But, I can definitely condense those small skills into a more concise sentence). One of my assignments for grad school is to submit our resume (at the end of the semester) so I have been googling librarian/librarian assistant resumes.
jwright I am with you on the "assists." While it is part of my job title, I need to get it out of the rest of the resume. As you can probably tell, I am a very passive writer. I've always done really well on papers and such, but taking the passive approach isn't such a big deal because I am not trying to sell myself.
Again, thank you for the suggestions! Towards the middle to end of the semester, I'll repost with my changes.
Feel free to continue commenting though. These are all very good pieces of advice. As you can tell by my job length, I haven't looked for a job lately, so I haven't really focused on my resume until I was at the point where I needed one as part of my grad school application.
The CL is way too long and wordy. I haven't looked at your resume yet, but the CL should highlight things on your resume without regurgitating it. A few things to keep in mind:
If you can, find a name of a person to address it to.
I would trim it down to state that you're a current MLS student and you've focused on the internet and technology, and the growing impact in a library setting.
I'd do a brief paragraph on how you've been able to improve the current library's web presence with your coding knowledge and development of social media platforms. It doesn't need to be too nitty-gritty, just enough to get the point across that you know what you're doing and what the end goal is.
I think you should close with something stronger, even to the effect of "my education and experience make me an ideal candidate for this position." Then your contact info, and that you're looking forward to speaking with them (not the opportunity to speak with them, be more active).
Put your education at the bottom. Start with either an experience/skills summary, or launch into the more Web-heavy aspects of your current job. If you're applying for a web services specialist, you want to show as much web experience as possible.
Definitely trim down or condense the basic library functions. And get rid of the "assists". As much active voice and driving information as possible, at the top. All that stuff that you've done and talk about in your cover letter? Should be front and center in your resume. Those should be the first 3-5 bullets of your current job, with maybe a bullet or 2 on basic library duties (shelving books, etc.) as needed. Also, if you started out doing more of those things and expanded your duties into the Web arena over the last 8 years, have your resume reflect that.