His personal problems are NOT your problems. He should not be discussing medical bills with you. He has a responsibility to call the exterminator and get rid of this problem. You need to stand up for yourself and your safety here and tell him so. No more excuses, no more waiting or trying spray methods. THEY HAVE NOT WORKED. YOU ARE PAYING TO LIVE IN THIS PLACE. Pull your lease if necessary to remind him of the obligation he has to call the exterminator.
Well, part of the problem is that we've been communicating by text so my frustration level is not being translated effectively. I am going to reach out to him and his wife (who seems to be much more forceful at getting him to do stuff) and go from there--including texting them the phone number of the exterminator and saying "call them and tell them they can talk to me", then I will deduct my out of pocket costs from my next month's rent. Because now that we have a good idea where they're coming in, even if the spray he uses works, I want to be certain no one who lives in this house has to deal with it again.
Is there any chance you could sweep up all the dead hornets (hundreds at this point, right?) and give them to him in a nicely wrapped (clear cellophane) package? Perhaps that would get the point across?
I had an issue with a landlord that dragged his feet on fixing things. Fortunately, he was okay with letting me do stuff (like replace a broken dryer) and just apply credits for the cost to the next month's rent. Maybe you just need to call an exterminator and let him know: "Hey, I know you're going through a lot right now, so I went ahead and handled this. I hope it's alright that I deduct the amount from next month's rent payment."
ETA: I want to change the language I used above... Instead of "I hope it's alright" it would be stronger to say "I will be deducting the cost from next month's rent payment." ... or is that too harsh?
SwimDeep, I called an exterminator on Tuesday and was informed the landlord has to give them permission to speak to me. And yes, I would deduct the cost from my rent.
doglove, it wouldn't be passive aggressive, it would simply say "Please call ___ at ___ and tell them they can speak to me so that I can have them inspect the house." that's not passive aggressive--that's pretty fucking direct.
You are once again leaving it up to him to decide to call someone and give them permission to let you deal with the exterminator. IF HE EVEN DOES THAT AT ALL. You are doing it over TEXT message. How is any of this direct? It may not be passive aggressive, but it is still you giving him the control to deal with it when he's shown you countless times that he's going to take the cheap way out because you are "trying to be breezy about it." It's time to stop being breezy and demand better.
Plus, wasn't this already an option last week? Did you not tell them you would pay for the exterminator if they gave the exterminator permission to do the work? Also - it's not ON YOU to pay for this exterminator and get reimbursed.
I did not tell them that last week. I told you guys that my parents offered to front the cost of the exterminator.
Right now, text message is more convenient for me because I'm at work (so is he) and my anger over this will cause me to not get my message across clearly.
His personal problems are NOT your problems. He should not be discussing medical bills with you. He has a responsibility to call the exterminator and get rid of this problem. You need to stand up for yourself and your safety here and tell him so. No more excuses, no more waiting or trying spray methods. THEY HAVE NOT WORKED. YOU ARE PAYING TO LIVE IN THIS PLACE. Pull your lease if necessary to remind him of the obligation he has to call the exterminator.
Well, part of the problem is that we've been communicating by text so my frustration level is not being translated effectively. I am going to reach out to him and his wife (who seems to be much more forceful at getting him to do stuff) and go from there--including texting them the phone number of the exterminator and saying "call them and tell them they can talk to me", then I will deduct my out of pocket costs from my next month's rent. Because now that we have a good idea where they're coming in, even if the spray he uses works, I want to be certain no one who lives in this house has to deal with it again.
Girl, you know I love you, but there is a problem with your last sentence. It should read "I don't want to have to deal with this again in the future/spring/whatever."
I love your big heart, but save it for people that deserve it. The next tenant of that rental is the last of your concerns right now.
I'm glad you're going to stop texting and call them. That's a good plan. I'm just concerned your good nature is being taken advantage of.
It's okay to be emotional. That's a big "bomb" to throw on a relationship, even one as new as yours.
I'm glad it seems like the "awkward" has dissipated.
I don't think it's totally gone, there's less texting and talking overall. Maybe he's reevaluating too or maybe he's following my lead or maybe I'm overly sensitive. But my hope is that by seeing each other in person we can just relax and enjoy and leave the other stuff behind. We were talking about plans for next weekend already, so I know I'm overthinking a bit (or a lot).
He's probably taking your lead right now. You did cry, so I can see him waiting to see how you want to proceed.