I don't know if you guys remember me

[greysgirl]

I used to try to post on this board as much as I could but with a job change it's been hard. I broke up with my boyfriend last night after 2.5 years together. We love each other, we just don't seem to want the same things out of life. I just need tips on how to get through life until this gets easier. I am a single mom (ds is with my exh not bf or exbf now I guess) and I work full time, I just ran my 2nd half marathon last week and I'm training for another one plus obviously all the other life stuff that needs to get done. You would think these things would keep my busy enough to not dwell and I know it's only officially been a day (although we have been rocky since the summer) but I just don't even know how to function right now. I did it once obviously when exh and I split and that was way more dramatic than this but that all seems like a blur now. I've been crying at work off and on which needs to stop, I cried during my run this morning, I almost cried driving my son to preschool and I just feel like I don't know how I am going to get through normal tasks till this pain eases. I can't crawl up in my bed and cry over the man I thought I was going to marry but that's what I want to do, it's just not an option. What are your best tips on faking it till until the pain lessens? Or at least keeping it together, I can't fall apart right or ever really.

[bullygirl979]

First of all, hugs.

Second, why can't you fall apart? I'm not saying that it is fine to ignore your son and stop being a parent, but who says you can't crawl in bed after he asleep or gone and just cry?

[cuddlyevil]

You're on day #1 after the split, falling apart is totally okay right now.

It won't always be like this. {{HUG}}

[peppermint]

of course we remember you! so sorry you're having a tough time, but i'll echo what everyone else has already said - give yourself a break and allow yourself to "fall apart" a little bit. you guys JUST broke up...be easy on yourself, it's okay to cry. lean on others (and us!) for support. big hugs lady.

[jigsy]

2.5 years is a LONG time. You can totally cry over this. Give yourself time to heal. Yes, you have to carry on with life and take care of your kid, but you don't need to repress your feelings. When I first split with my X and I was having a hard day, but still needed to get through work, I would just tell myself "do X and Y, then you can feel all the feelings later". It helped to acknowledge that the feelings were real, and I knew they were there, but that I still needed to deal with real life. Giving myself permission to cry or whatever later helped me fake it the rest of the day.

(((hugs)))

[mysterons]

Oh man, my heart goes out to you. Breakups are the worst. I understand the desire to fast-forward through all the pain.

My tips:

Allow yourself time to grieve - even if it's just for an hour after your son goes to bed - play some sad songs, cry, be angry, whatever you need to do
Continuously remind yourself of the reasons that you broke up
Strongly consider having no contact with your ex for 60 days to give both of you time to heal apart from one another
Rely on your friends - they will remind you of how awesome you are and will allow you to talk everything out

It really does get better. Not all breakups/situations are the same, but for me not looking at my ex's social media pages has really helped. Of course, I had to wean myself. It's hard to go cold turkey. Out of sight/out of mind.

[greysgirl]

Thank you guys for being so nice. I cried on way home from work last night and on my way to work this morning, it's generally the only time I am alone. I really wish I could find someone to watch ds for a few hours this weekend so I could just be alone. My ex-Mil sometimes takes him for a few hours on Sundays but she is going away this weekend.

I keep trying to tell myself it will get easier, I wish I could just fast forward through this part. I wish I was angry, that would make it easier. Angry for me is easier than sad.

I unfriended him on facebook but we have a ton of mutual friends so I still see him pop up. I changed his name in my phone to Do Not Call or Text so hopefully when I am feeling weak this will stop me, I am actually on his phone plan, I need to figure that out, so I can't block him but your right about contact not being a good idea, it will just make things worse.

Thank you guys.

[Wanderista]

I'm really sorry. I know how it feels. I felt like that about my ex and honestly melted down for about a week aside from doing my job. It's true that friends really helped me. Also, in the longer run, the introspection that came from hanging out on this board has helped me too.

I second what others have said. Also, you will be ok. You seem to have a good perspective because you say, "I wish I could fast forward this part." You know that the future is ahead of you but right now you just need to feel the feelings and work through them.

[riverpestie]

HUGS! Oh my gosh. I am so sorry.

[greysgirl]

Thanks everyone, one day down without contact. Just trying to stay strong.

[boing]

Oct 17, 2014 7:41:26 GMT -5 greysgirl said:

Thanks everyone, one day down without contact. Just trying to stay strong.

((hugs)) it gets easier every day

[Mrs.Rad888]

Oct 17, 2014 11:32:28 GMT -5 boing said:

Oct 17, 2014 7:41:26 GMT -5 greysgirl said:

Thanks everyone, one day down without contact. Just trying to stay strong.

((hugs)) it gets easier every day

It does get easier every day. Just keep getting through one day at a time. And keep reminding yourself that one day, it won't hurt any more.

[greysgirl]

Thanks girls, I really appreciate it.

[onedayatatime]

Big hugs - don't feel bad for needing time to grieve