WWYD: Toddler hitting at daycare

[Ashley&Scott]

Please don't quote.

When I pick M up at daycare they are usually playing outside on the playground. I can see him as I pull in & park. He usually waves to me & then runs over to the door to wait for me to come in.

Last night when I pulled in I saw him & a friend at the far end of the playground playing. The friend was holding a bucket & hit M in the head. M was looking at me as I pulled in, he backed away from the friend a little bit sort of dumbfounded. Friend smiled, ran around a bit then went back to M & hit him two more times the the bucket. M started crying. I parked as quickly as I could, jumped out of my car & waved/yelled to the teachers that the boy was hitting M. They came over right away comforted M & talked to the other child about nice touches/not hurting others. M of course was crying by this point, I told him that I would be right in to get him. (the playground is fenced in, you have to enter through the secure building) When I got inside the teachers apologized. Friend was put in time out with discussions of playing nicely, etc.

I comforted M, talked to his teacher about the rest of his day & we left. They did not write up an incident report (should I have requested one?) They did tell the other child that they would need to talk to his parents about what he did to his friend. 

I get that these things happen, it was just really unsettling for me to see M getting wailed (on with a bucket!) & the teachers didn't even notice. 

[redheadk]

What were the teachers doing when it happened? Were they watching the playground but just happened to miss the incident or were they not paying attention at all? That would determine if I'd say anything further.

I know it's upsetting to see your child being hurt by another kid, it bothers me, too, but I just try to remember that it could be my kid doing the hitting the next time and the teachers responded appropriately for his age and were going to tell his parents but, really, what more can they do? If it's a frequent issue with him then I'd expect someone to shadow him but if it's just a random thing then I don't see that there is much more to be done.

But I'm really sorry that happened to M and it would have upset me, too.

[undecidedowl]

I probably wouldn't do anything. I know it's tough to see, but I imagine it's pretty normal over the course of the day with that age. If you are at all concerned that this child is a repeat offender, I might ask the teachers to go ahead and write up an incident report to make sure it gets tracked. Otherwise, it sounds like the teachers handled it pretty normally.

[Ashley&Scott]

The teachers were standing 60 feet away talking & watching the other kids. It's not a common thing that I know of, M & the little boy are actually good friends. I was just shocked that the teachers didn't even notice. The two teachers that were outside with them were not his teachers, his teacher walked back into the play area right behind me. I think she was either on a bathroom break or taking one of the other kids to the bathroom.

[Ashley&Scott]

I know kids are fast & these things happen. Sounds like I reacted appropriately.

The child was still hitting M when I got out of my car. I just wonder how many times M would have been hit before anyone noticed

I told M whenever someone hurts him he needs to tell them NO & go tell a teacher.

[asoctoberfalls]

It sounds like it was handled appropriately. I would let it go.

[cjeanette]

I think they handled it appropriately.

[Deleted]

Oh no Ashley! Poor M. I know that must have been so hard to see. But I agree with the PPers, it sounds like the teachers handled it appropriately. If it becomes an ongoing problem (like M complaining a lot about hitting on the playground) I might talk to the director about more supervision during that time.

[erbear]

Don't take this the wrong way, but you're overreacting. Little kids hit. They all do. They cannot send an incident report home every time someone hits because it happens a million times a day with little kids. The teachers can't see every little incident. Unless my kid was really hurt, I wouldn't expect a report.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Oct 19, 2014 20:15:29 GMT -5 erbear said:

Don't take this the wrong way, but you're overreacting. Little kids hit. They all do. They cannot send an incident report home every time someone hits because it happens a million times a day with little kids. The teachers can't see every little incident. Unless my kid was really hurt, I wouldn't expect a report.

this .. I spent my hs summers working at daycare centers. I would literally spend ALL DAY writing incident reports if I had to write one every time a kid got hit. kids hit - some days they're on the receiving end, sometimes the giving. also unless the ratio was 1:1 there is NO WAY that even the most diligent of dcps would catch every little thing.

this is why I told dd when she was old enough to talk that if someone was doing something to her that she didn't like to yell NO!!!! and if they kept doing it to run away as fast as possible to the teacher and we actually practiced this at home lol