Honestly I think he put the bartender in an awkward and unfair position. Yea she didn't say the right thing, but I think she was trying to and was caught off guard. I know I've been caught with foot in mouth disease so many times.
Well, the cougar comment wasn't really necessary but yeah I don't get why he asked.
Yes, my annoyance was at being called a cougar out of left field, and it was the only thing she said. Eh.
But she wasn't calling you a cougar out of left field. She was specifically asked about you and your boyfriend's age. It's not like she came up to you out of the blue and said "hey, you're a cougar." I personally don't think of cougar as an insult, just that there is an age gap, which you have acknowledged is accurate.
FWIW if anyone asks me how old they are I keep my mouth shut and say "I'm not sure" to avoid any kind of foot in mouth disease, but I guess I can't fault this woman for answering when she was directly questioned.
Well, I guess the age difference is obvious then, which I guess wasn't what you were looking for. I think that was a dumb question to ask in the first place. I feel bad for the bartender and would excuse her awkward comment.