Spouse not invited to wedding

[bobotron3000]

I got a FB message this weekend from a girl that I used to work with about 5 years ago. She sent it to a group of us who all worked there together back in the day, asking for our addresses for wedding invitations. Her wedding is next June and I haven't seen her in about a year. After we all gave our addresses, she replied with, "Just so you know I can't invite your spouses or SO's because we haven't won the lottery. I thought the wedding could be a fun reunion for all of us." I haven't seen the other people she invited in at least a year, if not longer. 

I haven't been to a wedding in a few years so I'm out of the loop on if the no spouse rule is normal or not. I just think the whole "reunion" thing is bizarre. I would have been OK with "sorry we can't afford to invite people that we haven't seen in a year." 

[Deleted]

I think it's weird.

I wouldn't go.

[lg28]

Is she related to nuggetsister? Lol.

You must invite spouses. No exception.

[zoomzoom]

Weird. I wouldn't go either.

[eb777888]

Weird. No, not normal. I wouldn't go.

[Deleted]

Nope. BBQs are reunions. Weddings are not.

I wouldn't go.

[marina007]

I think it sucks, but I'd go if I really wanted to see her/the others you know there.

Imo, SOs should always be invited to weddings, pretty sure that's generally accepted etiquette, too.

However, I was invited to a friend's wedding back in 2010, 2 hour flight away, specifically without my SO (who at the time was my live-in boyfriend of 4 years). I still went and had a great time since I knew a bunch of people there, but I still side-eye when looking back.

[smock]

Not okay at all. And it comes off as very gift-grabby.

[Deleted]

People are so weird. I wouldn't go.

[VeryViolet]

I was invited to a wedding I was in without my then bf because we got into a fight at invitation time and the bride thought "I wouldn't want to bring him". So yeah people are tacky and not inviting spouses is neither polite nor normal.

[captainobvious]

I had a FB friend that did this and then would post long winded diatribes about how awful it was for people to expect that a spouse/SO that the couple had never even met would be invited.

[lilibet]

I thought we could have a reunion where you are all expected to buy me a gift! lol

I vote weird and not the norm.

[lilac05]

No.

You want a reunion? Plan one. Wedding =/= Reunion.

[jennistarr1]

Yes, agree with others, spouses always should be invited...

I get where she's coming from though. I couldn't even afford for my wedding to invite current coworkers, much less former coworkers or their spouses. So I didn't even though I would have liked some of them there.  I think it's her way of being able to include that group.

[bobotron3000]

Oct 20, 2014 12:13:23 GMT -5 marina007 said:

I think it sucks, but I'd go if I really wanted to see her/the others you know there.

I guess that's why I think it's weird though - we all live within 30 minutes of each other and haven't seen each other in a year +. The most interaction I've had with any of them is seeing pics on FB. I am close with only one of the girls she invited and she's not planning on going because she and her DH barely see each other as it is. I just don't know why you would invite a bunch of people you don't keep in touch with when you are apparently trying to stick to a budget?

[Deleted]

Super weird--especially the 'reunion' angle. It's not like she's going to be hanging out at your table all night reminiscing with old work friends at her own wedding. 

[zoomzoom]

Because it's another present/cash.

[4speedy]

I would reply with, "Great, count me in but I'm not bringing a gift. I haven't won the lottery."

[Deleted]

No thanks. Looks like you are going to be busy that day next year.....

[smock]

Oct 20, 2014 12:21:44 GMT -5 4speedy said:

I would reply with, "Great, count me in but I'm not bringing a gift. I haven't won the lottery."

Or, if you really want to mess with her, "I'll be there, but I can't bring a gift. Mr. Bobotron won the lottery, but AFTER we signed a prenup. Too bad he's not invited!"

[cheeseandcrackers]

WHAT. I just wouldn't go.

[Deleted]

I agree it's rude not to invite spouses. And I would extend that to engaged And live-in significant others.

[bobotron3000]

Oct 20, 2014 12:21:44 GMT -5 4speedy said:

I would reply with, "Great, count me in. I'm not bringing a gift. I haven't won the lottery."

Haha! Love it.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Tacky. You want a reunion, suggest a brunch. SOs are non-negotiable.

[busterpup]

I wasn't invited to a wedding in which my H was the best man! He grew up with the groom and they said that it was "family and close friends only" haha. I guess I didn't make the cut!

[margarita]

This is so weird and rude. I wouldn't go.

[stacyb1983]

Nope.

[iammalcolmx]

She would never hear from me again.

[trafficgirl]

Oct 20, 2014 12:21:08 GMT -5 @ameliapond said:

Super weird--especially the 'reunion' angle. It's not like she's going to be hanging out at your table all night reminiscing with old work friends at her own wedding. 

This is exactly what I was thinking. I barely got to talk to my best friends at my wedding, let alone anyone else. It was too hectic.

What a weirdo/gift-grabbing idiot.

[elleblue]

Oct 20, 2014 12:35:39 GMT -5 busterpup said:

I wasn't invited to a wedding in which my H was the best man! He grew up with the groom and they said that it was "family and close friends only" haha. I guess I didn't make the cut!

And you were spouses at the time? That's crazy. And rude.