So for our tenth anniversary, DH surprised me with a trip to Disney with the kids. It's our first time and he wants to keep it a surprise from the kids. I am a semi- germaphobe. Honestly my first reaction was like "ack! He doesn't know me at all."
I don't even want to go to the mall in November -lol - why would I want to go to Disney on a plane? It's not like we are shut ins in cold/flu season- but I think of this trip and just have this pit in my stomach. I realize that we won't catch Ebola either - but with all of the hysteria over the nurse traveling etc. it just added to my general uneasiness ab flying. I know rationally that nothing like that will happen-but I would just rather stay "safe" at home.
I've been so non excited about the trip that dh sat me down and asked if I want to cancel. He bought tix through a program at work and they are final sale. We would lose about $2000 if we don't go and postpone it. He was like, I can just tell that you won't be able to relax and enjoy yourself. Due to my husband's work schedule- we have no idea when we would have another chance to travel there.
So, if you are a germaphobe or prone to anxiety - how do you "pep yourself" up. Talk yourself out of it? Deal w situations you know will make you uneasy and give you high anxiety?
Gee, I have no idea where anyone would get the idea that you wanted to cancel the trip or that you avoided going out in the flu season. That's ML for ya!
For me, medication helped a ton. I still get anxious in situation like you are describing. We have a Disney pass so when we go, I pack sanitizer/ wet ones wipes and just hope for the best. Before meds, I would have been a wreck, but now it is manageable.
I was bad enough that I wouldn't leave the house much for the first year of DD's life because I would freak that she would touch something (germs) or that I would touch something and transfer the germs to her, or someone else would touch her etc. It was bad. Now, I just try to predict what will set me off, and prepare the best that I can.
Are you worried about getting germs on yourself or the kids or both? I'd go to Disney, bring Purell along, and just make sure everyone washes their hands before eating. Also don't constantly touch your face (not sure if you can get the kids to stop that one though!).
I also think you should do some research on where, in fact, are the most germiest places/items you come in contact with - I bet it'll surprise you!
So for our tenth anniversary, DH surprised me with a trip to Disney with the kids. It's our first time and he wants to keep it a surprise from the kids. I am a semi- germaphobe. Honestly my first reaction was like "ack! He doesn't know me at all."
I don't even want to go to the mall in November -lol - why would I want to go to Disney on a plane? It's not like we are shut ins in cold/flu season- but I think of this trip and just have this pit in my stomach. I realize that we won't catch Ebola either - but with all of the hysteria over the nurse traveling etc. it just added to my general uneasiness ab flying. I know rationally that nothing like that will happen-but I would just rather stay "safe" at home.
I've been so non excited about the trip that dh sat me down and asked if I want to cancel. He bought tix through a program at work and they are final sale. We would lose about $2000 if we don't go and postpone it. He was like, I can just tell that you won't be able to relax and enjoy yourself. Due to my husband's work schedule- we have no idea when we would have another chance to travel there.
So, if you are a germaphobe or prone to anxiety - how do you "pep yourself" up. Talk yourself out of it? Deal w situations you know will make you uneasy and give you high anxiety?
Gee, I have no idea where anyone would get the idea that you wanted to cancel the trip or that you avoided going out in the flu season. That's ML for ya!
Post by shopgirl07 on Oct 20, 2014 12:54:20 GMT -5
Being a germaphobe, or excuse me, semi-germaphobe, I'm sure your whole family gets flu shots and you wash your hands a lot. Getting out in the sunshine will be good for you.
Post by Pixiehollow on Oct 20, 2014 12:55:07 GMT -5
Sorry for he confusion- I was responding to smock about whether semi-germaphobe is a term that I used with my therapist. I already do the wet ones, Purrell thing and my kids are rally good about washing up. I would never want my kids to miss out on a trip or something exciting because of my issues. Sure I have those feelings of anxiety here and ther, but I get over them and my kids live an active, normal life.
I suppose I mispoke too because hubby mentioned postponing - until spring or summer. That is why he mentioned the no refund because be wanted me to call and see if its truly final sale or if we can change dates.
I have been considering a new therapist anyway- so this may be a good push.
Post by Pixiehollow on Oct 20, 2014 12:57:52 GMT -5
And yes I feel a little disappointed that my husband spring this on me. I wish that we would have talked about it. Now it's booked and planned and I have three and a half weeks to prepare for it.ni don't just mean the anxiety part of it - I mean the actual packing, buying little trinkets to take, it falls the east week that I run a fundraiser at school so I have a lot to do to prepare.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Oct 20, 2014 12:59:34 GMT -5
I hope, that beyond the snark and hostility you've dished and taken in this thread, that you've put together that your anxieties are beyond the norm. I also if you are really leveling with your therapist about how much anxiety you really feel about germs, if your husband can pick up on your angst so much that he'd actually walk away from 2K just to make you happy.
Either find someone else or find a way to level with your current provider, because I am not confident you are doing that.
I am not a germaphobe, but I do have a similar anxiety around crowds. I often find that the *thinking* about activities is actually worse for me than actually *doing* the activities. It's never as bad as I imagine it will be.
I do think that maybe if you address this with your therapist, he/she should be able to help you with strategies to manage your anxieties and make the trip more manageable (if not enjoyable) for you.
I dunno. Disney isn't everyone's cup of tea, for whatever reason. (and i can commiserate a bit here, because it's definitely not mine) But I feel like the horse is out of the barn here. I'd try to suck it up for this trip; focus on how much your kids will enjoy it.
You only have 3 1/2 weeks? I would get on medication, but would not expect it to be fully effective for this trip. I personally would pack a billion Clorox wipes and remind the kids not to touch their face.
Post by Pixiehollow on Oct 20, 2014 13:03:46 GMT -5
I appreciate the responses- truly. I know that I need to work on this - so maybe the trip will be a good exercise in exposure therapy. Lol. Disney is also the last place that I would choose to go-just because amusement parks are not my thing. But I have planned something for every day that I am looking forward to - like the holiday party, luau, bippity boppity boutique etc.
Sure I have reservations about going - but if I focus on my kids and their excitement/happiness- I would do anything for that.
And yes I feel a little disappointed that my husband spring this on me. I wish that we would have talked about it. Now it's booked and planned and I have three and a half weeks to prepare for it.ni don't just mean the anxiety part of it - I mean the actual packing, buying little trinkets to take, it falls the east week that I run a fundraiser at school so I have a lot to do to prepare.
Ok, this I get. I would be super stressed (I have anxiety) that DH booked a non-refundable trip that I had to get everyone ready for in less than a month. Not to mention a trip to Disney is not my idea of a great 10th anniversary trip (and I'm DYING to take the kids to Disney).
I'm also going to add here that (speaking only for myself), I would have much better control of my anxieties around a trip if I had any input whatsoever in the decision to go, scheduling of the dates, etc.
I would freak the fuck out if my husband dropped a big vacation to a place that is less-than-ideal for me, without asking if I wanted to go, which dates were convenient, giving me ample time to prepare, etc.
I feel bad that everyone is jumping on you here. I'm feeling you on this.
ETA-- AND he's leaving you to single-parent 3 kids for the week leading up to this trip? These details are practically giving ME a panic attack, and it's not even my life. I will be seeking further therapy in accordance with the advice in this thread...
Post by oregonpachey on Oct 20, 2014 13:06:48 GMT -5
Are you worried about cold/flu or something worse? Unless your kids have underlying health issues, catching a cold is really not that worrisome. That is part of being a kid. Flu? Do they get flu shots?
Try to find what exactly you are worried about (whether that be in therapy or some self reflection). Hand washing, being up to date on immunizations, etc. will keep standard colds and flu away for the most part.
You are likely to catch the same things by using a cart at the grocery store.
Post by Pixiehollow on Oct 20, 2014 13:13:06 GMT -5
They get flu shots and are up to date on Vaccines. i don't really have a fear - just general anxiety.
My dd had a rare blood disorder when she was an infant - diagnosed at 9 months that she outgrew at almost 3. She had neutropenia which actually probably caused some of my anxiety about germs.
I think that it's a combination of things- I never expected it, didn't have any input, hubby is going out of town the week before, it's the same week that I'm running a major fundraiser at my kid's school. I am also the events coordinator for our PTO and we have a big vendor fair the day that we leave- I now have to ask people to take my shifts etc. I mean - all things that can be handled. I just realized that we have a GS thing planned too that I need to rearrange.
Post by sapphireblue on Oct 20, 2014 13:16:07 GMT -5
My mother has a lot of anxiety about flying (just fear of flying, not germaphobe though) and she takes Ativan when she is getting on a plane. Or sometimes a shot or two of something. She's not much of a drinker otherwise.
ETA: now I feel silly, I thought I HAD read the whole thread but should have refreshed the page. But really, OP, it sounds like you're stuck with it. So talk to your therapist, try some medication, and make the best of it. I would NOT be happy if my H or SO dropped a trip on me in these circumstances but you're sort of stuck with it.
Post by shostakovich on Oct 20, 2014 13:21:37 GMT -5
Disney is also the last place that I would choose to go-just because amusement parks are not my thing.
Yes 3.5 weeks!! Husband is traveling to brazil for a week before this. Arrives home One day and we leave The next.
Um.
I would maybe take your H with you to some of your therapy sessions. Because he seems to have missed the mark by about [_____________________] this much.
Maybe you already do this, but my germaphobe husband brings a travel-size bottle of hand sanitizer with him when we go to kid spaces. He slathers it on his and the kids' hands and I think that makes him feel better.
Post by Pixiehollow on Oct 20, 2014 13:25:10 GMT -5
I will admit that some of my upset about this trip Is just feeling like My husband is an ass! When I said that I had general anxiety about going his response was "see if I ever do anything nice like this again". Ughhhhhh!!!!!!
Post by Pixiehollow on Oct 20, 2014 13:30:05 GMT -5
I will admit that some of my upset about this trip Is just feeling like My husband is an ass! When I said that I had general anxiety about going his response was "see if I ever do anything nice like this again". Ughhhhhh!!!!!
And as far as my daughter's neutropenia goes- hers was severe enough that she wasn't allowed to go to preschool, and if she had a fever we had to call ahead and be whisked back into a room at children's ER for further testing.
Gee - your kid has dangerously low levels of neutrophils- bring her down to the ER when she is already sick so we can make sure that her neutrophils are mounting a defense
She had weekly blood draws and lots of tests too. .