Yes and no. I know my dad was at one time a bit disappointed because I "quit" my quest to be in the Secret Service.
I know my mom is proud of me for how I parent, how great a husband I have, and how good I am financially, but these are all things that my sister has sucked at so it's more that I'm just better than her.
I don't think either parent is truly disappointed in any of my life decisions, but they don't outright tell me they're proud either. I'm ok with that.
Post by snipsnsnails on Oct 20, 2014 14:09:19 GMT -5
Yes.
Growing up, my father was very stoic and tight-lipped, not overly affectionate, but loved his family beyond sense, just didn't say it, you know. He never told me he was proud of me until the day I graduated from college. He had never picked out a gift that wasn't a list, but he surprised me that day with a beautiful, gold necklace that had my graduation date engraved on it. When he gave it to me, he told me he loved me and he was proud of me.
Post by pantsparty on Oct 20, 2014 14:11:15 GMT -5
Yes. They are really good at treating all of us fairly, but I can tell they worry about me the least, LOL. Like I was talking to my brother this weekend and he said something like, "Mom acts like we don't know how to manage our money!" and I was thinking, Mom and Dad have literally never said a word to me about money since I moved out. Then again, I have not visited the Bank O' Mom and Dad since I left, either, and my brothers are frequent patrons. LOL.
I know they are disappointed we're not having kids, but they do a good job of masking the disappointment. Ha ha.
Proud and exasperated both. They are more cautious, while I sort of flung myself about the world for 20 years or so. They aren't big on compliments, but I guess I know because they have always respected my decisions.
Yes, I know my parents are very proud of me. They've seen me struggle (in my late teens/early 20s) and they tell me all the time that they are so happy that I've been able have a stable career, get married, have kids and have a great life for myself. It could have totally taken a different turn so I think they sigh with relief. My mom has also mentioned many times that she feels lucky that I've never had my hand out or asked for anything. I'm a super independent person.
Post by beefcheeks on Oct 20, 2014 14:13:29 GMT -5
Yes, I think they are proud of me. My mom is less specific about this kind of stuff, but she is better at showing emotion/affection in general, so I just "know". You know what I mean? So I can't recall specific times in my life that she has told me she's proud of me, but I know she is. My Dad is less emotional/affectionate, so the few times in my life that he has told me he's proud of me have really stuck with me. Two in particular stick with me. One was while I was in HS (I achieved something sports related) and the second was when they came to visit when my first son was a couple weeks old. When they left he told me how proud he was of me, I was doing a good job, etc.
Yes - my dad tells me and my sisters all the time how proud he is of us. We are all pretty successful, happily married, and have children he adores. His step kids, however, are all a hot mess and a drain on his life, marraige, and money. They make us look really good!
ETA - my dad even left a vm on my phone yesterday congratulating my DD1 on her swim meet and telling her how proud he is of her. He was never this mushy when I was kid - being a grandpa has made him a softie.
My mom died in 2007 - but I think she would be really proud of my sisters and I. We are very close, and that was really important to her. I think she would be proud of how we stick together and help each other when needed.
They always want to show me/us off to their friends. Lol. It's cute. I haven't accomplished anything all that spectacular in my life, but they seem proud of me.
I don't have a mother. My step mother is lovely, but I don't think it's ever occurred to her to be proud (or not).
My father hadn't ever directly told me that he was, and there was a point in my first career (which was directly tied to his own career, but in different facets-- he makes equipment and I coached the sport) when it was clear he was not. I wrote him a letter, a long one, about how his lack of support made me feel. He called me after he read it and we cleared the air, after a lot of tears from both of us.
Since then, I know that he is incredibly proud of me as a mom, an athlete, and a teacher, and as a member of our sport-community. I don't know that he has outright said it, but I can hear it in his tone, and people always tell me how highly he speaks of me.
My dad is a sentimental guy and tells me often that he is proud of me.
I think he overdoes it sometimes because he sees me struggle with my mom's criticisms. I doubt that she is proud of me, but she has a very skewed measure of success, so...
I think my dad is proud of me in some ways, not so much in others. He likes my achievements (school, house, husband, etc), I think bc they are measurable and bc he can brag to his friends . My mom's never told me she was proud of me (not that I can recall, anyway). She's very critical and I think jealous in some ways. It's weird. We don't talk much, mainly bc she's always preferred to that way and I finally accepted her way a few years ago and have much less heartache over our relationship now that I'm not trying to force something she doesn't want.
Short answer- yes, I think my dad is proud of some of my accomplishments. I can't say either are proud of me as a person, if that makes sense.
What do you mean they put the kids in their place? Do they chastise them?
Teasing, mocking, pointing out flaws and general less than-ness. His maternal grandfather is an alcoholic, so mom grew up without being built up and it shows in how she parented her kids.
That's how DH's family used to be with him. It angered me beyond belief. Thankfully (?) he's "grown up" a lot and become very responsible and a great husband and father and they do recognize this and praise him for it, but still, I have a lot of resentment for how they used to treat him.
Both my parents have passed. My dad only two weeks ago but the last time I saw him I saw pride bursting from his eyes. I can't describe it. He could barely talk but he looked so happy. He always bragged about me, even when I totally was not brag-worthy, and I know he just thought I was awesome.