Can we talk about a possible sensitive

[Jalapeñomel]

topic? So my kids at school call each other the n-word all the time. Most of my students identify as Latino, but we do have a small AA population (I'd guess maybe 10-15%). I do not allow it in my classroom (well the best that I can), but they yell it in the hallways, address each other with it in the cafeteria, etc.

Has this word just become one of those things that has become the societal norm (in this area)? Do you think the kids don't know/don't care/don't understand what the word means?

[allaboutme]

I wonder if it comes from music/lyrics having that word and that making it okay to them?? I was at the mall a few weeks ago and there was a huge line of 'teenagers, I asked one of them (a young man that happened to be AA ) what are you waiting for? He said, oh this N, he's a rapper. I said, please don't say that word, but who is the rapper, he then told me the guys name. But he wasn't trying to be rude, it appeared to be he way of speaking. When I corrected him, he just answered my question with the rappers name.

[W.T.Faulkner]

I deal with this. As a white woman in an all-black school, handling this has been one of my biggest challenges.

Many times, my students don't even hear themselves using the word, since it's so commonplace.

I asked a student about it one time, and he said that he believes the usage is what makes it derogatory. A white person using it? Highly derogatory. A black person using it to refer to his friend? Not derogatory.

My students are well aware of the history of the word, but context, for them, is everything.

In my experience, their parents and grandparents feel quite differently, in general.

[calle28]

I HATE this word and I cringe when I hear young kids saying it, regardless of race.

Unfortunately, I do think it's so commonplace now that they just don't think it's a big deal anymore. But it is. Ugh.

[caitlinbree]

Oct 20, 2014 15:27:25 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

I think maybe it's more commonplace for  kids these days with music etc. and also something that they may not understand the full historical connections of?

I think this may be the case. My 15 year old niece and her BFF (two of the whitest girls you could ever meet) call each other this (but ending with an a, so it's totes cool).

I heard it for the first time last weekend and called them and my sister out for it. Sis laughed and said the girls just thought they were so "street".

Needless to say it completely renforced my decision to drastically limit time with my family.

[balletofangels]

My community is also mostly Latino and this is very commonplace in our high school. DH is a high school teacher and coach and constantly tries to impress upon the kids proper grammar, language etc. for career readiness, respect. DH is white, but this is his alma mater and he really wants the best for these kids and this is just one more thing that drives him nuts. Not out of anger, but just disappointment at the lack of respect for self and others.

I agree with other posters that they don't even realize that it is a big deal, which is sad.

[stealthmom]

Oct 20, 2014 15:25:43 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

topic? So my kids at school call each other the n-word all the time. Most of my students identify as Latino, but we do have a small AA population (I'd guess maybe 10-15%). I do not allow it in my classroom (well the best that I can), but they yell it in the hallways, address each other with it in the cafeteria, etc.

Has this word just become one of those things that has become the societal norm (in this area)? Do you think the kids don't know/don't care/don't understand what the word means?

my kids say it too and they have no idea what it means. I'm fairly certain they get it from popular culture.

[karmasabiotch]

Some teen say it in my office and are shocked when I tell them it's not an acceptable word to use. They seriously seem surprised by my comment. Then they are angry when I make them write a 2 page essay/reflective thinking paper about the history of the word and why it's not ok to say.

[dowagercountess]

Oct 20, 2014 15:55:37 GMT -5 karmasabiotch said:

Some teen say it in my office and are shocked when I tell them it's not an acceptable word to use. They seriously seem surprised by my comment. Then they are angry when I make them write a 2 page essay/reflective thinking paper about the history of the word and why it's not ok to say.

Argh. Writing as punishment. 

[penelope]

I have often wondered about the lyrics to the music that is listened to and the de-sensitization that it creates regarding that word. Why would kids find anything wrong with it, when it is every other word in some lyrics?

I think it is horrible that the people that produce that music don't see, or care, what they are doing.

My kids don't understand why I am appalled by it.

[Deleted]

Yes it's (unfortunately) common. I correct kids when they use it. This was especially true when I was working with kids on a daily basis.

[Jalapeñomel]

Oct 20, 2014 15:36:57 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

I deal with this. As a white woman in an all-black school, handling this has been one of my biggest challenges.

Many times, my students don't even hear themselves using the word, since it's so commonplace.

I asked a student about it one time, and he said that he believes the usage is what makes it derogatory. A white person using it? Highly derogatory. A black person using it to refer to his friend? Not derogatory.

My students are well aware of the history of the word, but context, for them, is everything.

In my experience, their parents and grandparents feel quite differently, in general.

But what about kids who do not identify by one of these two races?

I wonder if this word will become more and more common place, to the point to where our children will be desensitized to it completely?

[calle28]

I hope not.

[miniroller]

I've tried to talk to a couple guys (mid-teens, both AA) about this topic, & they said that their utilization of this word made it so it took away all the power of the past (ha, I wish) derogatory meaning. Understood(ish). I know I'm just stating the obvious, but this was their rationalization for frequently using. Nonetheless, I still don't allow it in the workplace setting; I don't care that you're just in the dish room where nobody else can hear- no. So I'd certainly shut it down as best you can in school. It's tough, sorry.

[sherbanator]

This was common when I was a kid, too. We listened to snoop dog and Dr. Dre so I think we thought it was a "cool" thing to do. I'm mortified now.

[calle28]

Oct 20, 2014 17:29:52 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

Oct 20, 2014 17:20:23 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

But what about kids who do not identify by one of these two races?

I wonder if this word will become more and more common place, to the point to where our children will be desensitized to it completely?

I feel like they're really getting desensitized to it. I wonder how do black people really feel about this? Are they offended when white people say it? Are they okay when black people say it? Sometimes the meaning/attitude of a word changes over time too. Is it ever ok for this kind of word to become acceptable?

And we could say the same about guns since there are so many violent video games/movies too.

Obviously I cannot speak for all black people. But I really hate the word, I think it shows a lack of knowledge and is very disrespectful. I honestly hate it more when young black guys say it than any other race. It's embarrassing and they look ignorant.

Yes, I'm offended when white people say it.

No, I'm not okay when black people say it.

No, I don't think it's ever okay for this kind of word to become acceptable.

And the argument that by saying the word we are "taking away the power". Puh-lease. Let a white guy say that to a black guy in a derogatory way, and we'll see if they still feel like the word has no meaning.

[flamingeaux]

I know when I was in high school, an A A student got in trouble for saying that word. He tried to get out of trouble by saying it was basically two different words. Ended with an "a" was not offensive, but with an "er" was.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using proboards

[sherbanator]

Do you remember this news story?  To this day it is one of the most awkward things I have ever watched.

[Jalapeñomel]

Oct 20, 2014 19:59:55 GMT -5 sherbanator said:

Do you remember this news story?  To this day it is one of the most awkward things I have ever watched.

I can't access YouTube. What is the story?

[Jalapeñomel]

Oct 20, 2014 19:25:57 GMT -5 @stpete said:

I'm not weighing in on the use of the word in every day speech. Who do the posters in this thread feel about it's use in music? I would not in a hundred years use the word in daily language, but it's in the music I sing along with in the car or shower every day.


What are your thoughts?

Do you mean you sing the n word along with the song? I, personally, would not be comfortable doing that, but I am not also a fan of this type of music so this situation has never come up for me.

[sapphireblue]

I think that teacher should have been fired. He admits to using it on more than one occasion, it sounds like.

I believe the kid, I don't think he said it first.

ETA: my comment is regarding the video that sherbanator posted...

[Saint Monica]

Oct 20, 2014 22:59:28 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I overheard our receptionist use the word in the 'friend' way, and I told her if I heard it again in my office she'd be fired. It's not acceptable language in a professional setting.

I would have fired her on the spot.  I could not look at her the same way ever again.

[sherbanator]

@jalepenomel

A teacher explains that he calls kids the n word because that's what they call each other and he's trying to relate. He goes through this whole explanation how n with er at the end is a "totally different word" than the n word with an a at the end. It's hard to watch. He is really trying to sell his point and sounds like a giant douche.

[meggers5]

Hate it. I cringe hearing it. I don't sing it in songs. FI has said it before and I've asked him not to so now he doesn't.

[everyjuan]

I hate it. Our foster son from earlier this year used it all the time. It wasn't in the derogatory way, but we made it clear that we didn't like it and we didn't allow him to say it in our home. We also asked that if the music he was listening to had that word, that he either not blare it or listen to the censored version. He respected those rules but didn't understand why we were so worked up about it, especially since we're white.

He has a few white friends (peers) that use it, and it wasn't a big deal to him either. I asked him about it once and he said that as long as it came from a friend his age, it was fine and their race didn't factor into the equation.

Sigh.

[Jalapeñomel]

Oct 21, 2014 8:37:54 GMT -5 sherbanator said:

@jalepenomel

A teacher explains that he calls kids the n word because that's what they call each other and he's trying to relate. He goes through this whole explanation how n with er at the end is a "totally different word" than the n word with an a at the end. It's hard to watch. He is really trying to sell his point and sounds like a giant douche.

This makes me cringe.

[allaboutme]

Oct 21, 2014 8:40:47 GMT -5 cjoy said:

Oct 20, 2014 15:31:57 GMT -5 allaboutme said:

I wonder if it comes from music/lyrics having that word and that making it okay to them?? I was at the mall a few weeks ago and there was a huge line of 'teenagers, I asked one of them (a young man that happened to be AA ) what are you waiting for? He said, oh this N, he's a rapper. I said, please don't say that word, but who is the rapper, he then told me the guys name. But he wasn't trying to be rude, it appeared to be he way of speaking. When I corrected him, he just answered my question with the rappers name.

You sound like you're 82.

Some days I feel 82... Lol. Anyway, Just thought it was ignorant to use that term; he appeared to be a normal, young, smart person.

[blondemoment123]

My brother said that word and my H tore his ass up. That word is not acceptable and especially not in my home. My brother has Aspergers and tried to blame it on that. Oh hell no.

[stealthmom]

Oct 21, 2014 8:37:54 GMT -5 sherbanator said:

@jalepenomel

A teacher explains that he calls kids the n word because that's what they call each other and he's trying to relate. He goes through this whole explanation how n with er at the end is a "totally different word" than the n word with an a at the end. It's hard to watch. He is really trying to sell his point and sounds like a giant douche.

ha. That was ludacris' explanation as to why it was ok. I wonder if he watched this video.