"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I don't hide anything. My family is too competitive - my mom especially is perfectionistic - and this drives them to undershare, to the point that I have to drag information about my dad's cancer treatment out of them. He would like to pretend he is still in perfect health. My mom wants to think she can handle everything.
I see strains of that in my own thinking but it has never done me any good. So I try, maybe not so much on here, but with my friends IRL, to just let it all hang out.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Oct 20, 2014 22:46:45 GMT -5
I think for me there's a difference between something being private and something being secret. I share private things when I think what I'm sharing might help someone or at the very least contribute to the conversation. If I'm understanding @stpete's original post, though, keeping something secret is akin to being ashamed of it (I realize I'm vastly and maybe unfairly oversimplifying). There are some private things in my life that I'm pretty sure I'll never share, even if sharing could help someone (I'm not necessarily talking about here, I mean) because my desire for privacy is more imprtant than my desire to contribut/help/educate/whatever. The thing that I cant quite articulate, though, is OP's premise that keeping something secret = labeling something as wrong. Obviously I am not supporting protectiong abusers by keeping abuse a secret, but I think in any healthy relationship between two adults, even within a marriage, we are entitled to privacy.
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"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"