So. I'm not sure even how to start this, but it's been in my mind a whole lot lately. I was 2 years and 7 months old when my dad sexual abused me. William will be that old in just two weeks. There are a couple aspects of this I want to talk about.
How much I remember. So many details. I remember understanding so so much of what was going around me that day and the next. I even remember a warning on tv about how children were not supposed to watch the show we watched. I couldn't read any of the letters or words, but I knew what they were saying. I remember so much and understood so much at that young age. That makes me realize that there is so so so so much more that our kids know and understand that they just can't articulate to us. So be careful what you say and do around them. From watching tv to dumb arguments with your spouse. They know when you are sad and happy, children are very smart at this age.
The other part that is that as parents we are here to protect our children, but we can't always be with the 24/7. Watch for signs of abuse. You don't need to obsess, but be aware. It normally happens with an adult they love and trust and not a stranger. I know so many of you have had similar experiences and are sensitive to this, it's just not something you can get over and when you have your own children, it becomes so much more real again.
Shit @huahuahlove I am so sorry. I knew this had happened to you but didn't know how young you were. Comparing it to our LOs' ages really hit me hard. I am so sorry that happened to you. I hear stories like this and I think about all the innocent children who are, right now, getting exposed to things they never should, being treated in ways no one deserves. Thank you for reminding us to be diligent in looking for signs. We need to protect our children since they can't do it for themselves. ((Hugs))
Emerson Kate, born 38w5d on 4/6/12 at 6:02 p.m., 5 lbs 13 oz and 18 3/4 inches. Lucas Matthew, born 39w5d on 4/11/14 at 8:20 a.m., 7 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches.
Thank you everyone so much. It really is crazy to look at our kids and think that someone could do something to them so hurtful. Without going into the details, my dad said he would kill us, my brother and me and our mom if we told anyone so I didn't for a little while. I was hurting so much that I told my mom and after many test they found out I had chlamydia. It's so fucked up thinking about it, I was so young. Then going through this fertility stuff, I was 5 days away from being tested to see if the chlamydia is what damage my tubes and then I somehow got pregnant on my own. We were in total shock that it happened then. If I found out that was the reason I was having issues getting pregnant, I'm pretty sure Dh would have tried to kill my dad if we were ever in he same state. Not really, but I know he would want to.
I am so so sorry smellycat, for the little girl you were and for you now as well. I hope this milestone with passes as easily as possible. You are such a string and brave person and mother to revisit this today and take the time to give us all your wise advice. Thank you and so many hugs.
I'm so sorry. It is very heartbreaking to hear about the horrible experiences you endured. It's so wrong. You are very right about our children understanding so much more than we assume. Sending you strength and love.