I met Kellie Pickler last night and before I knew it was her, I had almost told her that she looked like herself, lol. She was nice.
I left work early today because I am cramping so badly and my body hurts. I was hopeful I'd get a nap in, but they are mowing outside my window at the moment.
Aww. I loved her on American Idol. She was so sweet.
Something is fucked on my computer, again, so I've spent the entire day so far watching IT try to remotely solve it. Fun.
I did something bad yesterday and now I am stuck trying to decide if it matters enough to bring it up with BF or just let it slide.
It depends on what it is. Let us decide
I checked BF's phone.
It wasn't malicious or because I don't trust him. He got a text from his ex and initially ignored it. Later, I wanted to see what she had said, which was literally nothing; just asking if he knew where her tent was. But when I clicked out of the text, I noticed a text convo with someone named "Jess okc." I know he was on okcupid before we met and I know he has a friend or two in his phone like that (one is a mutual friend from the bar). The convo between them was innocuous - short convos about work, mostly. But he instigated 3 separate convos with "Good morning cutie." And I don't like it.
He's a pet-name kind of person. He calls lots of his female friends honey, darlin, etc. But the combo of pet name, him instigating the convos, and the fact that I don't know who she is, all combine to make me squicky about it.
Tough spot berbles but that would drive me too crazy to not say anything...though it always sucks when you have done something that you don't want to admit doing.
So, I just got back from an interesting conversation with my boss...basically, we mutually came to the conclusion that I should be looking for another job. There will be a big meeting on Friday between the owners of the company and the two people I work with regarding the poor performance of my department...and they will pretty much be throwing me under the bus. The owners don't really buy what they are saying, but my options are to be moved in another position in the company, or move on...the new position would be an admin job with no future, and that is just not what I am looking for...
So, jigsy will be on the job hunt now. I am excited to be looking for something that I will actually enjoy-ish (hey, it's still work) but I am not excited to be on the hunt again. However, I feel like I am in the most ideal position to be looking for a job, so there is that.
It wasn't malicious or because I don't trust him. He got a text from his ex and initially ignored it. Later, I wanted to see what she had said, which was literally nothing; just asking if he knew where her tent was. But when I clicked out of the text, I noticed a text convo with someone named "Jess okc." I know he was on okcupid before we met and I know he has a friend or two in his phone like that (one is a mutual friend from the bar). The convo between them was innocuous - short convos about work, mostly. But he instigated 3 separate convos with "Good morning cutie." And I don't like it.
He's a pet-name kind of person. He calls lots of his female friends honey, darlin, etc. But the combo of pet name, him instigating the convos, and the fact that I don't know who she is, all combine to make me squicky about it.
I would feel uncomfortable as well. Ask him about it is my vote.
berbles. TL and I had an issue about him checking my phone in front of me. He picked it up to shut off the alarm and asked for my password. He then poked around in my texts and got pissed about some of them. I thought they were nbd, or I wouldn't have let him look. So I think what I'm trying to say is he may think it's nothing, but be careful how you approach it. We talked it out, but I was really surprised by his reaction.
Yeah, you're right. I mean, he gave me his password. He knows I know how to get into his phone.
And like I said, the messages were definitely innocent, but each conversation was started by him with "good morning cutie."
Sometimes he doesn't even text ME good morning, so. Or maybe I just text first. Trying not to read into it.
Post by riverpestie on Oct 21, 2014 16:29:27 GMT -5
berbles, I would also like to jump in the "talk to him about it" boat. Last week, FI and I were talking and his phone was right next to us on the counter and I saw a text came in from a female friend of his, I thought nothing of it because most of his friends are females and mine are males, so it's not a big deal. Later, he asked me to help him with his phone, so he could use it while he is in Germany. So, he and I were sitting together, and I was showing him what he needs to do, like put it in airplane mode, turn off mobile data, etc... then he went into his text messages and the entire thread between them had been deleted, but there were still others there. THIS made me raise my eye brows. *-)
I mentioned this earlier this week in the thread with my professor, but I am non-confrontational and I have been working on some things with my therapist and as nervous as I was, I gathered up the courage and I brought it up, like 10 minutes later. HAH! The timing was awkward. We talked about it, and no one became defensive. He explained the situation and we both came to a good conclusion. I definitely urge you to talk to him about it and I was also let him know that it makes you uncomfortable that he calls this girl "cutie" and initiates texts to her. That would make me uncomfortable, too.
Thanks riverpestie. You're all totally right that I need to say something.
I almost had a stronger reaction because when I tried to scroll back to older texts, there weren't any, which made me think he deleted them. But then I remembered he just got a new phone. LOL
Post by peppermint on Oct 21, 2014 16:37:48 GMT -5
omg cam13 i LOVE LIM, i would love to hear more about your experience!
berbles...tough spot. i'd definitely say something. also, riverpestie...haven't you recently had to talk to FI about a female friend of his and her being all about him? or am i confusing you with someone else on the board? if so, i hope this isn't the same friend you were talking about before!
and my follow up to my earlier post today about a college crush friending me on FB...turns out he friended a shitton of other people from college too, so my giddy feeling was quickly shot down, once i realized i wasn't that damn special, LOL.
Post by jojoandleo on Oct 21, 2014 16:44:50 GMT -5
UGH! I HATE TEXT MESSAGES. LOL. XFI used to get them and he was sooo fucking dumb, you could read a part of the text on the screen. So I would SEE these texts that made me feel off coming in. But he always found a way to explain them away and make ME feel crazy.
When I first started dating MH, I would check his phone because I didn't trust that shit. We had to have a come to Jesus talk about how I had to trust him and not punish him for my ex's mistakes. Fortunately, H is such a homebody, I am really not worried about him cheating. LOL. Buuut, I have seen him text things I think are kind of flirty, but I am right there when he does it and know about it. Plus, I send kind of flirty things to my guy friends sometimes because it's a fine line between playfully friendly and flirty sometimes.
Calling another girl Cutie and sending good morning texts would bother me too, but it sounds like the rest are innocuous. I would talk it out. I bet it would make you feel better.
I actually have a clean kitchen. This morning I washed every dirty dish in the house and cleaned out the refrigerator. I love that feeling. Then I spent the rest of my last day of fall break reading a book. All in all a good day.
omg cam13 i LOVE LIM, i would love to hear more about your experience!
berbles...tough spot. i'd definitely say something. also, riverpestie...haven't you recently had to talk to FI about a female friend of his and her being all about him? or am i confusing you with someone else on the board? if so, i hope this isn't the same friend you were talking about before!
and my follow up to my earlier post today about a college crush friending me on FB...turns out he friended a shitton of other people from college too, so my giddy feeling was quickly shot down, once i realized i wasn't that damn special, LOL.
Yes! That was me.
The female friend (not sure either of us would even call her a friend since the first time we had ever seen her was at a party at the beginning of the Summer) was a few months ago, and how I was extremely uncomfortable that this girl was only talking to him and ignoring me and asking him to be on her bowling leagues, kickball leagues etc... He noticed this behavior and agreed with me that it was weird. All communication has been cut with her and apparently, she got the message, because when it was time to sign up for bowling again, she didn't ask him to join her team.
The text last week was from this girl that he knew before he moved here 8 years ago. They've been friends for about a decade. Their texts don't bother me, but I do get bothered when texts are exchanged, then deleted and other texts are still there. So, it wasn't as though he was doing a mass delete. He explained to me why he deleted them and we came to a conclusion regarding the situation.
ETA: peppermint: I guess I can say what the texts were about so it doesn't sound as though he is doing anything wrong. One of his best friends from high school is going to be staying with us over Thanksgiving. This dude is married and sleeping with the chick (who is also married) that was texting FI. She was telling him about the last time they (Dude and her) were together, which was recently and FI didn't want me to read the texts and lose all respect for and/or say anything about it to his friend that's coming to stay with us. Needless to say, I have no respect for this DB.
berbles I'll be honest. I would not be okay with that. And honestly I think there is a huge difference between calling someone darlin' or honey in person (isn't this a southern thing?) and starting good morning cutie texts. I'd ask him about it. If he gave you the passcode then it shouldn't be a big deal.
berbles I'll be honest. I would not be okay with that. And honestly I think there is a huge difference between calling someone darlin' or honey in person (isn't this a southern thing?) and starting good morning cutie texts. I'd ask him about it. If he gave you the passcode then it shouldn't be a big deal.
I agree.
He's a flirt. He just is. I'm fine with it when I can see it. It truly doesn't bother me. And I've told him that - as long as I can see it, I don't care.
Post by jojoandleo on Oct 21, 2014 17:21:59 GMT -5
I really want to punch this opposing attorney in the face. I don't know WTF he wants ME to do about a Probate, THAT I AM NOT AN ATTORNEY IN. I am the attorney for the Estate in the civil case. There is a completely separate probate attorney. Call her. Stop calling here and threatening ME. You want to remove the PR? IDGAF. STOP CALLING ME.
It wasn't malicious or because I don't trust him. He got a text from his ex and initially ignored it. Later, I wanted to see what she had said, which was literally nothing; just asking if he knew where her tent was. But when I clicked out of the text, I noticed a text convo with someone named "Jess okc." I know he was on okcupid before we met and I know he has a friend or two in his phone like that (one is a mutual friend from the bar). The convo between them was innocuous - short convos about work, mostly. But he instigated 3 separate convos with "Good morning cutie." And I don't like it.
He's a pet-name kind of person. He calls lots of his female friends honey, darlin, etc. But the combo of pet name, him instigating the convos, and the fact that I don't know who she is, all combine to make me squicky about it.
I would feel uncomfortable as well. Ask him about it is my vote.
Post by peppermint on Oct 21, 2014 18:25:50 GMT -5
riverpestie - props to you from a fellow non-confrontational person for addressing these issues with your FI instead of letting them fester. Glad you guys are on the same page!