I don't know what the right answer to this is. I love the idea of having an unplugged wedding, but I am not sure that throwing everyone's cell phones in a basket is the best way to handle things logistically. Maybe have some sort of system similar to a coat check set up so that phones are kept from being damaged and/or mixed up? I had to check my cell phone at the US Capitol a couple of months ago and they had a whole system set up to handle things safely. Obviously a wedding is nothing like the Capitol (lol) but if this is that important to the bride, she could figure something out
Somehow my parents managed to go to weddings when we were kids and they were not instantly reachable. I think it would be helpful to include something in the invitation so that guests know to be prepared, but I think babysitters could just be given the venue information and/or phone number of a point person for emergencies. I think this is a bad idea if you don't tell anyone ahead of time.
I will literally go and stand next to someone in the aisle. They usually get so uncomfortable they move and/or get embarrassed when I pull out my big lenses, LOL.
This particular one the photog wrote this:
We are only allowed to be outside of the sanctuary in the door opening where the center aisle is and in the balcony. We are not permitted to move during the service.
My second shooter thankfully was in the balcony but it didn’t make these guests go away but luckily he was able to get images of the service where you could SEE the bride and groom.
I argued, begged and pleaded for the church lady guarding me to at least allow me to go into the side aisle so I could get a clear shot of my clients when these guests jumped into the aisle but I was not allowed. Instead I just had to take what I could get and cry a bit on the inside.
All I'm saying is that in some situations it's not as breezy as you make it sound.
Okay, I definitely side with her in that case. I would think, though, she could get a clear shot once they pass that dude? Churches can be quite difficult to shoot in overall.
ETA: although that is sometimes the fault of photographers who have overstepped bounds and ignored church rules. Just makes it harder for everyone else.
Post by delawarejen on Oct 21, 2014 12:00:24 GMT -5
I don't use my phone during weddings, so I would have no problem with leaving it at home. There has been a negative shift in peoples' behavior relative to cell phones that has only gotten worse since smartphones were introduced. #getoffmylawn
Post by catsarecute on Oct 21, 2014 12:02:26 GMT -5
There are plenty of other ways to be distracted at a wedding. Is she going to demand that people keep perfectly quiet during speeches? Their first dance? I can picture her being like a teacher, standing in the front of the room staring down her guests, waiting for everyone to fall silent and put down their phones so she can have the attention on her.
I chose other because I would have no problem turning it off (and honestly, it's the polite thing to do during the ceremony anyway), except for wanting to make sure the babysitter could contact us.
I would hope in a true, life-threatening emergency situation, that a baby sitter would call 911 BEFORE trying to reach the parents to ask what to do.
Sure, but there is a middle ground. If my kid has a slight fever, I don't necessarily need the babysitter to contact me right away. Though, most would text before giving him any meds. If he stops breathing, obviously I want them to call 911. If he falls and breaks his arm and needs to go to urgent care? What then? That's not 911 worthy, but the sitter may not have a carseat. I just don't think its unreasonable to want to be reachable if someone else has your kid.
There are plenty of other ways to be distracted at a wedding. Is she going to demand that people keep perfectly quiet during speeches? Their first dance? I can picture her being like a teacher, standing in the front of the room staring down her guests, waiting for everyone to fall silent and put down their phones so she can have the attention on her.
Um. As a considerate guest this is another of those things that you should do without being reminded that you are an adult and need to be quiet.
I don't have kids and I still wouldn't turn in my phone. Honestly, I'd probably lie and just say I left it at home. If it gets lost or damaged, it is roughly $650 to replace, because I'm not eligible for an upgrade yet. Will the bride/groom be paying for that? Immediately, so I can replace my phone the next day?
I wanted to come back in here to say I was in a wedding last weekend and left my phone in my purse in a locked room when we went in to the ceremony. Almost no one else did, including bridesmaids. People were taking selfies and having loud sidebar conversations during the ceremony. Granted, it was almost 2 hours long so I get being distracted but I was honestly really surprised. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding like that before.
If I knew about it I just wouldn't take my phone with me. Every single person on my FB that has gone to a wedding in the last couple of years has posted photos before the couple and it pisses me the hell off. My guess is if you asked people to not take pictures and post there would still be a few people who would.
Oh, come on! Every single person on your FB that has gone to a wedding?
I got married back in the good old days (2004) and we had friends post pics of our wedding before us. They used those new fangled devices called cameras.
Honestly it didn't occur to me to be upset, I loved seeing pics of our wedding.
And no, unless you're famous, I am not turning in my phone. I will however, happily comply with your request to keep it silent and out of sight during the ceremony.
As a realtor, if I am in the middle of a deal, I need to be reachable immediately. I wouldn't have the option of surrendering my phone or it could be extremely detrimental to a client.
I also wouldn't surrender it if I have a babysitter at home.
I DO think its reasonable to ask guests to have their phones on silent, and to turn them OFF for the ceremony.
Post by starburst604 on Oct 21, 2014 12:10:43 GMT -5
This thread is making me chuckle because I have held a secret year-long grudge at my close friends for not taking any photos of my wedding (these are friends who are allllways posting pics from weddings). Some random people took and tagged a few but they weren't good ones. I was really sad that I had none to see or share on FB until the photographer sent some (thankfully quickly, before my honeymoon was over). I guess that just means that my friends were all too ENGAGED to take photos and I should take it as a compliment?!
There are plenty of other ways to be distracted at a wedding. Is she going to demand that people keep perfectly quiet during speeches? Their first dance? I can picture her being like a teacher, standing in the front of the room staring down her guests, waiting for everyone to fall silent and put down their phones so she can have the attention on her.
Um. As a considerate guest this is another of those things that you should do without being reminded that you are an adult and need to be quiet.
I totally agree with you!! But not everyone is a considerate guest, sadly. If she is worried about cell phones distracting people, she is forgetting that people will be distracted by a variety of other things. I hope she doesn't spend her entire wedding day worried if people are on their phones, taking pictures or texting or whatever.
Again we can agree to disagree. I don't see the big deal complying with shutting down a phone every once in a while. In fact ever since DD got her own phone I'm liking the idea more and more.
Agreeing to disagree is different than shaming people for how much they choose to stay in contact with their kids. Step the fuck off.
Oh please. Calm down. Having an opinion on the matter does not equal shaming anyone.
I'm glad you agree! I shoot weddings, so I have a little experience here
I just don't know what you do to avoid this:
I don't think confiscating phones will stop an inconsiderate guest like this. Likely, the people who are considerate will follow directives not to take photos, the ones who aren't will lie and keep their phones and still do shit like you see above.
Also, at my sister's wedding, they did a special IG hashtag and encouraged guests to post photos during the reception/ceremony. But obvious the vibe of her wedding was a bit more laid back then a traditional church wedding.
As a photographer, I would appreciate this. I don't shoot weddings but I know it's a big gripe for other photographers who have folks run in front of them with their smart phone to grab a picture and often times making them miss a sweet moment. As a parent I see it differently. I would turn my phone on silent and only use it if absolutely necessary.
I contend a good photographer can work around these obstacles. Listen, my photos are always going to be better than Aunt Mary's. But does that mean I really have the right to restrict Aunt Mary from capturing these memories in her own way? So long as she is not standing directly in front of me, I don't care.
Very true! But when the priest says you may now kiss the bride and the photographer is down on one knee capturing the moment and Aunt Mary jumps in front of the photog it makes things fun. Aunt Mary should get her pictures and I would never restrict that but I know that this happens a lot to excellent photogs.
I guess that's when you hope the other aunt didn't jump in front of the second shooter
Oh please. Calm down. Having an opinion on the matter does not equal shaming anyone.
lolllllll.
"It's just part of the over parenting/protection of this generation of parents."
Want to stay in touch with your babysitter, folks? It's a generational problem! Need more breezy!
Well that is my opinion. I don't feel shamed that others think it's better to keep their phone on all the time. Differences in opinion..they happen on message boards. The breezy thing is over done.
Well that is my opinion. I don't feel shamed that others think it's better to keep their phone on all the time. Differences in opinion..they happen on message boards. The breezy thing is over done.
That's because no one attempted to shame you for it.
Thanks for explaining message boards to me, though.
I formally apologize to all those who feel shamed by my responses.
Post by thebuddhagouda on Oct 21, 2014 12:28:32 GMT -5
I don't feel shamed. I just think you might be a bit clueless or possibly have forgotten the difference between having a young child vs. one old enough to be bugging you since they got their own phone.
Hey, I'm responding to the OP since I see we've gone and changed subjects per the usual.
In response to the OP: HA HAHAahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. THAT'S how I'd feel. Mmmmkay, control freak.
I HATE people who act like they're photographers at weddings with their stupidass phones jumping into aisles and taking shots of the first dance, but that's not the solution.
I don't feel shamed. I just think you might be a bit clueless or possibly have forgotten the difference between having a young child vs. one old enough to be bugging you since they got their own phone.
I have more than one (they are 11 and 9) child but honestly I just started really using my phone regularly a few years ago. But we've already established that I'm breezy. ;0)
I don't even know about whatever kind of Greatest Generation youth shaming is happening in here, but if you think I'm gonna drop my $600 phone in a communal bucket around my thieving, untrustworthy family, you are nuts
I can surely go without looking at my phone for the duration of a ceremony, but there's still no fucking way I would hand it in. Phones are expensive, and I have info on my phone that I don't willingly hand out to others.
If I were close enough to the couple, I would politely let them know that I don't plan to hand in my phone and why, and reassure them that I won't take pics, be on FB, or have the ringer on at any point during the evening. If I didn't know the couple well enough to do that, I would lie about having a phone. If they want to search my bag, then I'm going home and they can all fuck off.
I don't even know about whatever kind of Greatest Generation youth shaming is happening in here, but if you think I'm gonna drop my $600 phone in a communal bucket around my thieving, untrustworthy family, you are nuts
Her reasoning was that it would prevent disruptions during the ceremony and keep people from being distracted/unengaged during the reception. She seemed a bit surprised when her FI thought it was a terrible idea.
lol. omg. That's a new level of bridezilla. All eyes must be on ME the whole time.
Thank goodness the groom has some sense. Hopefully that will be the end of this (yes, terrible) idea.
Hey, I'm responding to the OP since I see we've gone and changed subjects per the usual.
In response to the OP: HA HAHAahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. THAT'S how I'd feel. Mmmmkay, control freak.
I HATE people who act like they're photographers at weddings with their stupidass phones jumping into aisles and taking shots of the first dance, but that's not the solution.
My photographer actually took a picture of Aunt Mary taking pictures during the ceremony.