I just don't know if I have it in me to go another 7.5 weeks you guys. Some runs are great, others I have to force myself out the door. I still like running, I'm not hating it or anything, but sweet Jesu Maria, I am mentally spent. Today I could barely get it up for an 8 miler with only TWO miles of tempo and the hour it took felt like 20 miles. Yes, bad runs happen, but it's not the runs that are killing me, it's my head. To be fair, today at work was just crappy AND my period started yesterday, so I'm blah anyway. I mean, what if I don't make it AGAIN? :::cue George McFly::: I'm just not sure I can take that kind of rejection. But then, if I give up, I will be SO ANGRY with myself, because I'm not a quitter (even though, yes, I can try again, I know).
I dunno...I'm just...word/thought vomiting I guess.
You sound tired and sick of training. Bad runs happen and we get in funks every once in awhile. I get it. My training paces haven't been where I want them and you just question whether it's all worth it at all. Maybe just go a day at a time. Maybe drop to 3 days a week (tempo, long run, easy run) that way you can do other forms of exercise as well? I don't know, just throwing ideas out there. Of course I want another buddy for the full at kiawah but we will not think any less of you if you drop to the half.
You sound tired and sick of training. Bad runs happen and we get in funks every once in awhile. I get it. My training paces haven't been where I want them and you just question whether it's all worth it at all. Maybe just go a day at a time. Maybe drop to 3 days a week (tempo, long run, easy run) that way you can do other forms of exercise as well? I don't know, just throwing ideas out there. Of course I want another buddy for the full at kiawah but we will not think any less of you if you drop to the half.
or if y'all feel like dropping even a little slower, tuggyruns and I would love a foursome!
I have been in that boat. Sometimes it's not really a bad run or even a bad week. It's just exhaustion with the process; you wonder why you're working so hard for something that may not even matter. At least that's the funk I sometimes get into. When it happens I feel selfish, irritable, and mad at myself for feeling that way. Vicious cycle.
It DOES matter, but it's still important to keep it in perspective with family, work, friends, and other stuff you may value. I have no good answer. You've been in training for a long haul, and that's tough.
I agree with taking it day by day and maybe only do 3-4 runs for a week or two. See what happens. Have a glass of wine and mull over it. Good luck. We think you rock either way.
ETA: If you believe in doing so, I'd also encourage you to pray about it. This always yields good answers for me when I'm patient & faithful about it.
So, you know I've been there. Like, almost in this exact situation with two races spaced the same distance apart, and a BQ on the horizon. Now, I didn't have the disappointment with my first race that you did (& I know that must be tough to get over), but I've been there.
One thing that helped , was breaking it down. You don't have 7.5 wks. Taper. You have 4.5 weeks. I know it's tough, and there were so many days where I just wasn't having fun anymore, but I wanted to try. I didn't want to quit. No one was making me do it and there would have been nothing wrong with walking away, but I wanted to be at that start line. I wanted to see what I could do. I think you'll regret not trying.
Is it tough? Absolutely. Is it intimidating & scary? Is it unsettling to put yourself out there with a goal and face possibly not meeting it? Of course, but if you don't, you'll never know. People try SO many times to make Boston! So you didn't qualify your first time. That's not a failure. It actually seems like that's a rite of passage. LOL
You had a bad day. You (hopefully) learned some things. You were already fast enough to do it at your last race, you just had some things that went wrong. You just have to keep up your fitness. Work on your mental game. Have a smarter taper. Figure out what went wrong, and try to adjust.
There's nothing wrong if you decide you don't want to do this, but I think you do. However, at the end of the day, it's just Boston. I know. I do. But really, it's just a race. You're an amazing athlete. This will not change that fact, no matter which way it goes. It's a fantastic goal, but a BQ does not define your running. No matter what happens, no matter what you decide, it's all fine in the end. We'll cheer you on, no matter what.
You are doing something so amazing and out of my league that I can't even pretend to understand all that you're feeling right now.
That said, say you decide to quit. Now picture yourself 10 years from now. Do you think you'll feel like there was wisdom in letting it go, or will you be kicking yourself because you were really close and didn't go for it? That should give you your answer.
Whatever you decide, nothing can take away from what you've already accomplished. Don't forget to be REALLY proud of yourself.
I don't know if I even have it in me to train for a single marathon, let alone the physical stress and emotional turmoil of BQ attempts. Hugs and strength to you
But I just want to sing some Journey to you right now.
You have put in so much hard work already. At this point, I think you should just stick it out for the month until taper. It might suck, it might get better, but at least you won't be questioning if you could have BQ'd if you follow through with the race. Good luck!
I can't relate to the BQ, but aside from that, I feel you. And, I think it's perfectly normal and fine to feel the way you do. 7.5 weeks means you probably have a rest week and a 3 week taper remaining? So, maybe reframing as gutting it out for 3.5 weeks helps? And maybe it doesn't. Maybe you say fuck it and try for a qualy in the spring. Or maybe your period dies down and you wake up in Saturday ready to smash this thing.
Post by secretlyevil on Oct 22, 2014 6:09:43 GMT -5
Ah chicky, who blames you for mental fatigue? You've been training for a long time but you can do it. You can totally do it. Take pixy up on her offer. Some company on those longer runs will help I'm sure. Plus she can help with setting paces on tempos, etc. AND you'll inspire her. It's a win/win.
Good luck with the mental block. We've all got your back and are cheering you on.
I can ride my bike with you on your long runs in Nov. if you would like company.
DH did this for me on so many of my runs when I was in Tara's same position, and it helped SO MUCH. Really, it's one of the main things that got me through. This is a wonderful offer & one she should most definitely take you up on. So sweet of you.
I don't blame at all for feeling like this. I agree that some new running partners or a change in routine might help breathe some life into your training.
When I saw the cutoff for this year, it definitely made me question what I was doing and why I was doing it. I've had a few moments of wanting to just give up. But seriously you got this. Just a few more weeks, then taper.
I would be in the same boat. I am in the same boat, only a much smaller, canoe like boat. I just can't get excited for training anymore. I wish I had more advice, but I have wanted to give up a few times lately, but I get through each training run and it's one more day closer to being done.
Take a couple days off and think about it. What I like to remind myself is what if NO ONE knew what I was doing. Not my husband or friends. Sure the internal pressure of my goal is there, but what if I hadn't told anyone my goal? Therefore I had no one to answer to if I didn't hit it. Not that anyone would think less of me, but saying the goals out loud and signing up for the races is part of the accountability. If you didn't have the accountability of the race or the goals you have said out loud, would you still do it? Maybe that doesn't make sense. I need more coffee.
I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, but I would be base my decision on whether or not I'd be thinking what if down the line. I know it's mentally draining to be in training mode for so long, but like others have said it's 4 more weeks and then taper.
I don't blame at all for feeling like this. I agree that some new running partners or a change in routine might help breathe some life into your training.
When I saw the cutoff for this year, it definitely made me question what I was doing and why I was doing it. I've had a few moments of wanting to just give up. But seriously you got this. Just a few more weeks, then taper.
I don't know if this will offer any comfort, but I can say from experience that the actual registration process, does not take away from accomplishing the actual goal. I know from looking at the insane people who lost their shit over not being accepted this year, that I might be in the minority of people who can actually do this, but you have to separate the BQ from the actual race. People need some perspective.
Yes, it is Boston, but it is just a race. We're all just recreational runners. The fact is that there are thousands and thousands of really fast runners who simply choose not to run it each year. If for some reason that changed, there could be a BQ-10:00 cutoff. That part is out of your/our control. What's NOT out of our control, is setting a time goal/BQ goal, and doing everything we can to run our best race possible and meet that goal. That accomplishment has to be enough, because it is the only thing we have control over. The racing of the actual race is the icing on the cake. I have heard so many people say, " I would have rather not BQd at all, then have BQd and not gotten in", and I just find that really sad.
I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, but I would be base my decision on whether or not I'd be thinking what if down the line. I know it's mentally draining to be in training mode for so long, but like others have said it's 4 more weeks and then taper.
so......along those lines. Want to consider Kiawah full and run w/tuggyruns and me??! We're working towards a goal for tuggy!
Post by theoriginalbean on Oct 22, 2014 8:25:04 GMT -5
Do you think maybe you're just burned out on running? Have you taken a "real" break, recently? Sometimes I just need to stop for a week and then I start to miss it and I can come back with new eyes. I know that won't really help you, given that you're mid-way through training, but maybe just promise yourself a nice reprieve when it's all over?
Maybe try a new training plan? Shaking things up might help. Change your cross-training, change the types of runs you're doing.
Post by Wines Not Whines on Oct 22, 2014 8:43:46 GMT -5
I think it's really hard to put so much time and effort towards a race, and a goal, and have it in your head that after the race you'll be done for a while... and then you decide you're not done, and you're going to continue training for another 2-3 months. Marathon training is grueling and exhausting, both mentally and physically. I know that by the time I hit taper, I'm DONE, other than the race itself. Having to immediately gear up for another (mini) training cycle would be exhausting and draining. So I can imagine where you're coming from, with the added pressure of trying to BQ.
Minus the BQ, I tried to do something similar once -- I ran my "A" marathon in late October, and I was registered for a second marathon in early January, about 10 weeks apart. I ended up deciding not to run the second marathon. I could've made myself do it, but training would've been a miserable slog, so I backed out.
Take a couple of days to think about whether you're in a better position to keep training for the full in December, or take a short break and gear up for another training cycle next year. I wouldn't call it "giving up." I'd call it postponing things. Either decision is understandable, and we'll support you either way.
I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, but I would be base my decision on whether or not I'd be thinking what if down the line. I know it's mentally draining to be in training mode for so long, but like others have said it's 4 more weeks and then taper.
so......along those lines. Want to consider Kiawah full and run w/tuggyruns and me??! We're working towards a goal for tuggy!
**fully admitting i'm an enabler and crazy **
Me?? Lol!
I enjoyed Chicago so much that I considered the Kiawah's full last week, but I quickly changed my mind. I think my body needs the break. Besides I need to cheer on you ladies when I'm done.
Post by bullygirl979 on Oct 22, 2014 8:53:26 GMT -5
You've gotten great advice already. Personally, I would never forgive myself if I knew something was on the horizon and I decided not to finish. But there is also no shame in saying this isn't the right time to keep moving forward. It is really a personal choice.
I do agree that maybe cutting it down to "smaller" goals might be helpful (the 4 weeks, then taper).
You guys are so amazing. Thank you for all your ideas and support and hair pats and love. I don't know what it's going to look like, to be honest, but you've given me a lot of things to think about while I figure it out, so thank you thank you thank you.
so......along those lines. Want to consider Kiawah full and run w/tuggyruns and me??! We're working towards a goal for tuggy!
**fully admitting i'm an enabler and crazy **
Me?? Lol!
I enjoyed Chicago so much that I considered the Kiawah's full last week, but I quickly changed my mind. I think my body needs the break. Besides I need to cheer on you ladies when I'm done.
Don't give up!!!! Some of my crappiest training runs have turned into my best race day runs. Start thinking positive and it will help you with your running
Post by theoriginalbean on Oct 22, 2014 9:08:29 GMT -5
Also, I just came off of back-to-back (to back? If you count NJ Marathon) cycles, just to get the BQ, and I had a few instances where I was just completely over it. I vote push through, and then take a break!
Post by bostonmichelle on Oct 22, 2014 9:26:28 GMT -5
I would say push thru. I think you can do it and its only 4 more weeks of hard which still sounds like a lot. I know for me when the going gets tough I break it down into x amount of days or x amount of hours until whatever is over, usually tax season in my case. And I think having some company on your long runs will help. I love having training partners and even though we might not be all running the same pace I know they are there and I can either speed up or slow down to hang with them for a bit to get thru the mental patches.
But whatever you decide we will all have your back 100%.
I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, but I would be base my decision on whether or not I'd be thinking what if down the line. I know it's mentally draining to be in training mode for so long, but like others have said it's 4 more weeks and then taper.
so......along those lines. Want to consider Kiawah full and run w/tuggyruns and me??! We're working towards a goal for tuggy!
Post by CallingAllAngels on Oct 22, 2014 9:57:55 GMT -5
I agree with those who say you should push through, mostly because I think you can do this.
That said, running - we do it for fun and for our own well-being. Only you can decide how important BQ-ing is to you. If you decide that it's not that important right now, none of us are going to give a shit and are still going to have a kick-ass party after the race.
I feel a similar way to you right now. I've run 8 halfs in a row (1 a week) and last weekend I just didn't run. At all. Despite PRing the last half, I lost the will to keep going. I felt sad, but unmotivated, which made me sadder.
Today I took my dog for a run. No pressure, no need to go hard, just a pleasant run. And it was ace. Having him with me took the pressure off trying to run a pace (though frankly he's fast, 8:15/mile fast) and I just enjoyed giving him some exercise. I still feel nervous that I've run out of steam, but will take it one run at a time. Oh, and I've signed up for some smaller 10k races (one in the dark, one around a castle!) and my favourite half. After that, I've given myself permission to really take a break.